My house is not your vacation home

[DisneyBamaFan]

...Social rule...never, ever put someone in awkward positions just to enhance your own life. Just not cool.

Good advice - and it includes asking for a loan...

 

[FireDancer]

If someone has a vacation house there are ways to see if they are open to renting it out without saying something as direct as "can I stay there?". You just have to be a bit more diplomatic and at some point just ask if they rent it out when they aren't there. Not in a "can I rent it" way, but in the course of normal conversation. If you make it sound like you aren't interested in renting it but are just curious it won't be so uncomfortable for everyone involved if the answer is no.

If they don't then you know not to ask, if they do then you know you can ask. It just requires a little diplomacy and not an inquisition 2 days before you want to rent it.

Also, if the owner doesn't want to rent it they have to be a big boy or girls and say no. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Even Dr. Seuss knew that.

 

[KingdomKeepersFinn]

WELCOME TO NH!!! Hope you enjoy and do lots of skiing/snowboarding

 

[MM27]

I've lived in NH most of my life. I have to say that I would never consider Barrington a "vacation destination". Is your house on Swain's Lake? Do people just want to use it as a base to visit New England in general? That said, I think Barrington is a lovely town (get some "snappy cheese" from Calef's) and I hope you enjoy your new home. Welcome to NH!

My brother and sil live in NH and I just fell in love with it from visiting them. And just so everyone doesn't ask, they invited me to stay with them. I didn't force my way into their house

Eventually I plan to move up there permanently, so I don't consider it a vacation home at all. I consider it a home that I just can't be at all the time right now. Does that make sense to anyone but me? With the housing market low and with the added bonus of the $8000 first time homeowner rebate, it seemed like a good time to make that investment. I'm glad I did and I love my house.

I live in Barrington! Small world.

Neat. Hi neighbor

 

[kaytieeldr]

I guess I just see it as this. For all you know, that person loves to let others use their vacation home, and would be happy to let you use it.

If that's the case, it's up to the homeowner to OFFER, not for potential guests to ASK.

Wow, too many people just have no awareness of personal boundaries at all. One of my pet peeves, actually.

!!!!!! And I don't even own a first home, never mind a vacation home!!!

:confused2 This owner doesn't have a problem with people asking. I can't imagine why people are so offended. If you don't like sharing, say "no."

TERRIBLE manners, plain and simple. I have a sibling who lives in an area where I like to vacation, and another sibling who criticizes ME for not staying there (and saving the cost of a hotel) on vacation. Never MIND that the homeowner hasn't invited me to stay... and this is someone I've known their entire life. If I (anyone) were welcome as a guest, it's up to the homeowner to invite - not up to me to ask, or up to a third party to suggest (or criticize, but that's a whole other issue )

 

[kaytieeldr]

Good advice - and it includes asking for a loan...

Hey, DisneyBamaFan... I need to borrow some money...

 

[Inigo]

I would gladly trade the use of either my house or my farmhouse for the use of your home in New England, near the coast. Of course, why you'd want to come to the middle of nowhere to stay at my house, I don't know.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Well, if you'd be willing to move your house a LOT closer to the Mall of America, we can talk... I live one city away from the ocean - about 1.5 miles in a direct line, obviously a bit further via land... if you could move a comparable distance from the MoA...

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

TERRIBLE manners, plain and simple. I have a sibling who lives in an area where I like to vacation, and another sibling who criticizes ME for not staying there (and saving the cost of a hotel) on vacation. Never MIND that the homeowner hasn't invited me to stay... and this is someone I've known their entire life. If I (anyone) were welcome as a guest, it's up to the homeowner to invite - not up to me to ask, or up to a third party to suggest (or criticize, but that's a whole other issue )

I don't find it to be poor manners at all. That, again is an opinion. I am thrilled that people feel comfortable enough in our friendship to ask. I'm just not that uptight.

 

[sunnyday123]

I purchased a new home in NH in December. I currently live in NJ and go there on the weekends and over vacations and plan to spend the entire summer there as soon as I get out of school. I cannot tell you the number of people that ask, "Can I borrow your house?"

Who does that? I want to reply, "Sure, when can I borrow yours?"

These aren't people that I am close with. I have had some people ask when they can visit or say they can't wait to come see it and maybe stay with me for a few days. I have no problem with that I am I more than happy to play hostess. These other people are asking to stay when I'm not there. Um, I don't think so.

I am on the that is rude team. I would say, "Sure, maybe you can do something with that pesky mouse and roach problem, I'm tired of getting into bed and feeling them crawling all up and down me!"

Trust me, they'll never ask again.

 

[wilderness01]

I am on the that is rude team. I would say, "Sure, maybe you can do something with that pesky mouse and roach problem, I'm tired of getting into bed and feeling them crawling all up and down me!"

Trust me, they'll never ask again.

Awesome, I love it.

Count me as an uptight person, really I am not, but I think it is horribly ignorant for anyone to ask to stay with you because they are coming into town. It is different if I offer, or if something happened to your house, you live nearby and you can't stay there. I have offered on both accounts and been taken up on the offer. I gladly have opened my doors.

But for anyone to ASSUME that it is ok to put me on the spot to ask for themselves, family or friends to come stay with me is beyond rude.

 

[sbell111]

Happens to everyone who owns a second home, or who just move to touristy / scenic area. All of a sudden you have lots of people who want to come visit.

Yup. Feel free to say yes to those that you want to allow to use it and no to those that you don't. As long as you understand that saying no may damage your relationship with them, your good.

 

[acejka]

We were supposed to be transferred to Orlando last year (company is looking at doing in this December now) and I can't count the number of people that said Oh good now I can stay at your house and not have to pay for a hotel at Disney and we will go more often!
Um not, there is not a sign over my front door that says Hotel Cejka... It's one thing to ask, but to just assume we are going to put you up whenever you feel like a quick getaway, so not happening.

 

[PatsMom]

Welcome to NH! I grew up in Rochester, one town over from Barrington. And I still drive through the town when I am working out of my Bedford office and staying with my mother. Nice little town to live in but I can't think why anyone would want to vacation there! Although there is a golf course and Swain's Lake. And a visit to Calef's is always worthwhile!

My family always owned a camp in ski country (Glen NH) and we always let people borrow it. No indoor plumbing but we have a very nice outhouse with electric light! And a microwave oven and cable TV. I bought the camp from my Dad and the surrounding land from someone else. Eventually I built my current house on that property. I still have the camp and it is great having a guest house when you live in a real touristy area. We really enjoy having the company, especially since they aren't actually in the house except when they come over to shower.

We also lend out house out to those who are squeamish about the outhouse (my husband's family) when we are going to be out of town.

I do think it is rude of people to just come out and ask if they can use your house. Practice saying that you don't rent it out. Or make certain to mention that it is almost a two hour drive to ski country - people think that because NH is a small state that anywhere is close to skiing and that is just not true!

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

Welcome to NH! I grew up in Rochester, one town over from Barrington. And I still drive through the town when I am working out of my Bedford office and staying with my mother. Nice little town to live in but I can't think why anyone would want to vacation there! Although there is a golf course and Swain's Lake. And a visit to Calef's is always worthwhile!

My family always owned a camp in ski country (Glen NH) and we always let people borrow it. No indoor plumbing but we have a very nice outhouse with electric light! And a microwave oven and cable TV. I bought the camp from my Dad and the surrounding land from someone else. Eventually I built my current house on that property. I still have the camp and it is great having a guest house when you live in a real touristy area. We really enjoy having the company, especially since they aren't actually in the house except when they come over to shower.

We also lend out house out to those who are squeamish about the outhouse (my husband's family) when we are going to be out of town.

I do think it is rude of people to just come out and ask if they can use your house. Practice saying that you don't rent it out. Or make certain to mention that it is almost a two hour drive to ski country - people think that because NH is a small state that anywhere is close to skiing and that is just not true!

We still have an outhouse at the hunting property. No one wants to borrow that property! Now, the other house always has someone if we aren't there, and sometimes even when we are. I love it.

 

[PatsMom]

We still have an outhouse at the hunting property. No one wants to borrow that property! Now, the other house always has someone if we aren't there, and sometimes even when we are. I love it.

We love our outhouse - it is quaint. It is complete with a crescent moon window. We did cover the window with plexiglass because the wind blew in. It has gingerbread trim and is painted to match the camp. Surprisingly, most people are fine with using it. We keep it cleaned and limed and it isn't bad. Except for the whole having the bare your butt at two in the morning during a NH winter! I don't miss that.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

We love our outhouse - it is quaint. It is complete with a crescent moon window. We did cover the window with plexiglass because the wind blew in. It has gingerbread trim and is painted to match the camp. Surprisingly, most people are fine with using it. We keep it cleaned and limed and it isn't bad. Except for the whole having the bare your butt at two in the morning during a NH winter! I don't miss that.

lol, we built a timberframe outhouse. It will outlast anything on the property. I like gingerbread trim. I bet it is cute. I should say the hunters don't mind the outhouse, and family is accustomed to it.