My house is not your vacation home

[MM27]

I purchased a new home in NH in December. I currently live in NJ and go there on the weekends and over vacations and plan to spend the entire summer there as soon as I get out of school. I cannot tell you the number of people that ask, "Can I borrow your house?"

Who does that? I want to reply, "Sure, when can I borrow yours?"

These aren't people that I am close with. I have had some people ask when they can visit or say they can't wait to come see it and maybe stay with me for a few days. I have no problem with that I am I more than happy to play hostess. These other people are asking to stay when I'm not there. Um, I don't think so.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I have a close friend with a cabin by Hunter Mt. I stay there occasionally. Then again, we are close. He and his family stay with us at our house regularly for days at a time. I couldn't imagine asking someone that I wasn't very close to for even an overnight visit, much less this.

Maybe they think that you like them more that you do...

 

[Robinrs]

You're not close to them but they know you have a home there?

 

[Handbag Lady]

I purchased a new home in NH in December. I currently live in NJ and go there on the weekends and over vacations and plan to spend the entire summer there as soon as I get out of school. I cannot tell you the number of people that ask, "Can I borrow your house?"

Who does that? I want to reply, "Sure, when can I borrow yours?"

These aren't people that I am close with. I have had some people ask when they can visit or say they can't wait to come see it and maybe stay with me for a few days. I have no problem with that I am I more than happy to play hostess. These other people are asking to stay when I'm not there. Um, I don't think so.

Why not reply with, "Sure, when can I borrow yours?"

I think it is a perfect come-back. Or, just say that it costs $199 a night plus a $50 cleaning fee per day for stays less than two weeks. (This is what my friend charges who has a condo in Denver for her skiing weekends.)

 

[Amy&Dan]

That does happen! If you live in a place that people like to visit (whether its your first home or a just a vacation home) you have to get used to saying no! I live in Denver and it amazes me how in the past distant relatives have just said "oh we'd like to come to Denver for a week and stay with you". Um, you'd like to come to Denver, use my house as your base camp for free and go on a cheap vacation.

Tell them you don't let people stay in your house because you never know when you are going to get to use it yourself or just say no until they get the hint. Which may be never!

 

[Sukie]

I purchased a new home in NH in December. I currently live in NJ and go there on the weekends and over vacations and plan to spend the entire summer there as soon as I get out of school. I cannot tell you the number of people that ask, "Can I borrow your house?"

Who does that? I want to reply, "Sure, when can I borrow yours?"

These aren't people that I am close with. I have had some people ask when they can visit or say they can't wait to come see it and maybe stay with me for a few days. I have no problem with that I am I more than happy to play hostess. These other people are asking to stay when I'm not there. Um, I don't think so.

Hello! I live in Newport. How close are you?

 

[Silent1CB]

Happens to everyone who owns a second home, or who just move to touristy / scenic area. All of a sudden you have lots of people who want to come visit.

 

[momrek06]

When we were living in MA, my DH had an engineering contract with the PANY/NJ. We got a beautiful apt in a brand new hi-rise in Hoboken, NJ. Our apt overlooked the Hudson River facing the Empire State building. DH worked there from 2000-2004. He drove home or took the train most weekends to MA.
There were many weekends and weeks that I would travel to NY to go shopping, see Broadway shows and get away from MA.

I basically had a list of family and friends that would want to see some new Broadway show or do some shopping or just want to tour around NYC and they would call and ask to stay in the apt. I obliged everyone. We had a Front Desk in the building I just asked that everyone check in with concierge and let them know they were staying in our apt.

I never had one problem with it at all. I never said no.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Funny thing, this brought back a memory to me! When we first moved to Colorado from Texas many years ago, my mom got so innundated with company! Everybody we knew crawled out of the woodwork to come "visit" us.

At some point she learned to say no to everyone but grandparents and my aunt (whom we stayed with when we went to Texas so it evened out). And also at some point, she had this plaque up that said "We do not rent rooms to skiers!" She saw it and thought it was so funny and clever and said just what she wanted to say to the hoardes of people who wanted to use our home as their free motel before hitting the slopes!

 

[MM27]

You're not close to them but they know you have a home there?

Yep. I work in a school district where if you tell someone something, twenty other people know your business within the hour. I don't consider a lot of my co-workers to be close friends. There are a few that I would love to have over and wouldn't think twice if they asked to visit. Others, not so much.

I don't understand why it's confusing. On a similar note, I was in a car accident two weeks ago and when I walked late into the building that morning, everyone that saw me asked how I was. News travels fast in the work place.

Just because I tell someone that I bought a new house (first house I owned so it is exciting) doesn't mean I'm close enough to them to have them hanging out when I'm not there.

Hello! I live in Newport. How close are you?

Barrington, which is a whole different world from New Jersey.

 

[Snoozan]

OP - My Dsis lives in Dover, NH, which is the next town away. I love that area - you're lucky to be close to Portsmouth and Oquinquit, ME. Oquinquit is my other most favorite place to visit, along with WDW!

 

[Robinrs]

Yep. I work in a school district where if you tell someone something, twenty other people know your business within the hour. I don't consider a lot of my co-workers to be close friends. There are a few that I would love to have over and wouldn't think twice if they asked to visit. Others, not so much.

I don't understand why it's confusing. On a similar note, I was in a car accident two weeks ago and when I walked late into the building that morning, everyone that saw me asked how I was. News travels fast in the work place.

Just because I tell someone that I bought a new house (first house I owned so it is exciting) doesn't mean I'm close enough to them to have them hanging out when I'm not there.

Now I see.

Somehow I understand how people think they can stay at someone's second home, I personally would NEVER ask but I had lots of friends who rented out their second homes for income.

Use the communication concept in the reverse. Let enough people know that you're not "renting" or "lending" and maybe they'll let everyone else know!

 

[Diane♥Disney]

to NH!

 

[Katieinwonderland]

I have sympathy!

DH and I bought our very first house about three months ago and we'd barely moved in when relatives we haven't spoken to in years wanted to come visit. We live 20 minutes from Disney and about 30 minutes from other Orlando attractions and the beach. We were more than happy to have some family members come stay with us, but there were some people we just had to say no to. Just last weekend a cousin of DH's (who didn't even show up to our wedding) called and asked if she, her family (including three kids) and THEIR FRIENDS (including another two kids!) could come stay!!! DH was very polite about saying no - he said we really didn't have space for nine people and nothing to entertain five kids...but I was fuming!

We went to England in January and one of my (distant) cousins asked if I would mind if she bought the family over to stay in the house for the two weeks we would be gone - she even commented "but you would have to make sure your cats were boarded because I'm allergic!!!!!"

 

[Birmingham]

Can I borrow your house?

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Can I borrow your house?

Get in line...

 

[MM27]

Can I borrow your house?

Sure thing. When should I come to yours?

 

[momrek06]

Yikes, I am reading all these posts and no one wants to share their homes.

My parents have a beautiful home on Drakes Island in Maine. It is an all year round home. They go to Florida for the winters. It is empty all winter. My friends will call and ask if they can go for a long weekend. They usually call me and then I call M&D and I cannot remember my parents ever telling anyone they could not go to the Island. Ever.

If we have plans in the summer away from Maine, my Mom will start calling friends to see if anyone wants the house while she is out of town.

 

[BLTtinkerbell]

Congrats on your new home! You will have to lay down the law & stick to it. We own a small cottage & had to do this. We do love having close family & friends visit, but not every person we know. We also do let close family & friends stay there even if we are not, but not people we aren't close to. When a casual friend mentions they would love to visit us, I give them a list of local hotels & tell them to let me know when they will be in the area. I tell them that if we are around, we would love to hang out w/them. Some of these people end up becoming close friends, others not. When casual friends ask about using our place when we aren't there, I tell them I don't know when that will be & then give them the local hotel list. Good luck & enjoy your new place!

 

[surfergirl602]

my grandmother bought a condo in Florida so that when family wants to use it, anyone could go and she would mail them a set of keys. DH and I stayed there on several occasions when we went to Disney, but due to health reasons, she ended up selling it. Now we stay on site, which is way better, in my opinion.