My heart is breaking.....

[natenapril]

I have no idea what if any other circumstances may exist there, but for our trip 2 years ago I was unable to make a firm commitment until very late in the process due to work. I was on a multi-year, multi-million dollar project that was supposed to be done in September, but it looked like it was going to run long right until the end.

I would never tell my wife that she MUST or CAN NOT do something but I would say that there was no realistic way for me to go when there was that much on the line if the project wasn't done. She then determined that she would not go by herself with an 11mo. It wasn't an issue of cost, it wasn't an issue of vacation time, and it wasn't a mystery to my wife just what the determining factor was.

Unfortunately, on (what felt like) a nearly daily basis from February to July I was asked if I could go or not. This got very old. My wife knew the situation and she's a bright woman, but she is very enthusiastic about vacations... I am certain that if it had been phrased as "I need an answer right now, yes or no" it would have been a NO as I simply couldn't make that promise. Of course if it was a question of "Can the little guy and I go, yes or no" then it would have been an easy yes.

Unless they (SIL & spouse) have had a frank conversation about the issues it's hard to say for sure what the concern is. It's also possible that they have had that conversation but aren't willing to share their reasons with others (money, medical, work, not really wanting to spend time with the other family members going, etc. issues?) and agreed to use the "hubby is being a stick in the mud" excuse instead. If as the OP says he's normally a laid-back non-controlling kind of guy perhaps that's another possibility.

For some reason I read this as the DH in discussion was the one who wrote it Weird

 

[Cdn Gal]

 

[ShannonMB]

DBIL said he'd go to Disney with us!!! He said tonight that he was getting tired of her talking about it, so he finally gave in! He said as long as we don't bother him and then when we get there don't make him ride anything (LOL). It still makes me mad that he was treating DSIL like a kid, but oh well..... DSIL is so much more excited!!!! I told DSIL that it would be hard not to talk about it b/c it's what we talk about 24/7 365! LOL

Thanks to the people who listened to me vent! I wasn't sure he'd come around and see the light!

Yay!!! I'm so glad DSIL gets to go!! HOWEVER, I still think she needs to get this guy in line. Even though you have come back and said that he's actually a good guy, etc, I still would NOT have someone trying to dictate what I will or won't do, regardless, especially with MY family. So I'm glad "the boss" gave in on this one, but I would advise DSIL to nip this in the bud before she trains him that HE is in charge!

 

[Dizfan4life]

DBIL said he'd go to Disney with us!!! He said tonight that he was getting tired of her talking about it, so he finally gave in! He said as long as we don't bother him and then when we get there don't make him ride anything (LOL). It still makes me mad that he was treating DSIL like a kid, but oh well..... DSIL is so much more excited!!!! I told DSIL that it would be hard not to talk about it b/c it's what we talk about 24/7 365! LOL

Thanks to the people who listened to me vent! I wasn't sure he'd come around and see the light!

Yippee !!! WooHoo !!!! Everything has a way of working out ! I bet once DBIL gets there he will be the biggest kid ever ! Have a great vacation... May will be here before you know it!

 

[cm8]

DBIL said he'd go to Disney with us!!! He said tonight that he was getting tired of her talking about it, so he finally gave in! He said as long as we don't bother him and then when we get there don't make him ride anything (LOL). It still makes me mad that he was treating DSIL like a kid, but oh well..... DSIL is so much more excited!!!! I told DSIL that it would be hard not to talk about it b/c it's what we talk about 24/7 365! LOL

Thanks to the people who listened to me vent! I wasn't sure he'd come around and see the light!

Hope you all have a blast

 

[jrsmom]

I would happily leave that man behind!

Me too! My husband would never treat me like that.

 

[shalom]

He said as long as we don't bother him and then when we get there don't make him ride anything (LOL).

I'm not a rides person but I'm fine going with my SIL - who is a raging rides person - because she's fine with the fact that I don't like rides. We meet up periodically during the day and also eat together; she tells me this or that ride was great, I tell her I'm glad she's having so much fun, and sometimes we wander around together while she goes on rides and I watch. It's all good.

I've also gone to a rides-centered park with other ride fanatics who spent the whole day harranguing me because I didn't like rides. They knew going in I didn't like rides - I'd said I'd come because some of the shorter ones needed someone taller to sit with them to get on certain rides - but they still felt it was their business to hassle me about it and try to get me to share their enthusiasm and spent considerable energy trying to convince me I'd like rides if I just gave them a chance. Miserable day, and I wonder if that's what your BIL is fearing.

There can be a fine line between sharing your enthusiasm and demanding a conversion, if you know what I mean. Your BIL may feel like an atheist who's handing himself over to a passel of excited and over enthusiastic missionaries who will spend the day bonding with each other through browbeating him!

 

[PrincessTiffany]

DBIL said he'd go to Disney with us!!! He said tonight that he was getting tired of her talking about it, so he finally gave in! He said as long as we don't bother him and then when we get there don't make him ride anything (LOL). It still makes me mad that he was treating DSIL like a kid, but oh well..... DSIL is so much more excited!!!! I told DSIL that it would be hard not to talk about it b/c it's what we talk about 24/7 365! LOL

Thanks to the people who listened to me vent! I wasn't sure he'd come around and see the light!

I don't think I'd be very excited about having to share my WDW vacation with such a jacka*s. You said he's not abusive or controlling, but he still sounds like a jerk.

 

[PrincessTeresa]

I don't think I'd be very excited about having to share my WDW vacation with such a jacka*s. You said he's not abusive or controlling, but he still sounds like a jerk.

This made me giggle just a little bit. Okay, it made me giggle alot. You hit the nail on the head with that one! LOLHe is very odd. But, that's besides the point.

Anyway....

So, last night, DSIL called and said that we were going to be mad at her. I asked her why and she said that she and her husband sat down and looked at the money situation and they didn't think they'd be able to swing it since it was so close to us leaving. HELLO!!!! I told her that we have been talking about it for MONTHS - why hadn't she been saving. She said that my dear jerky BIL thought it would only cost around $500 for their total trip!! My DH and I just couldn't believe someone would think that!! Esp. since they had said they had been looking on the Disney website for over a month! I even sat down with my DMom and worked up a little budget of the prices of everything at Disney and gave it to her!

Long story short, he's staying home and she's coming with us!!! DH said he was kinda glad that he wasn't going for fear he would make our trip miserable (as a pp said).

Everything happens for a reason.

Thanks again everybody for listening to me vent and carry on and I do apologize for making it seem like he should need serious counseling - although I don't think it would hurt! LOL He's not as bad as I made it seem, I was just really upset when I wrote the first post.

Thanks again!

Hope everyone has a very Happy Disney weekend!!!

 

[PrincessTeresa]

Me too! My husband would never treat me like that.

Amen sister! Mine wouldn't either. I don't understand some people ya know. But that's better saved for another thread on another board....LOL