My Great Aunt's Advice about Vacations

[snarlingcoyote]

The thread about vacations and charging them to Credit Cards got me thinking about something my great aunt told me when I was young that changed my thinking and that I am still always mindful of.

She told me that she and her husband were always, always savers. They put money away and didn't do much else. They had big plans how they were going to on trips and see things and do things as soon as he retired. Well, he retired and a month later fell over dead.

Because of their saving, she lived a comfortable life until she was 102, when she passed (fully mentis compos) in her sleep. However, until she died, she regretted that they hadn't done anything together when they'd had each other. He never got to go on all those trips; they didn't get to discover any of those wonderful places together.

Her advice was to be frugal and save, but not to the point that you don't have adventures now. Enjoy each other and have some special moments and adventures today, because tomorrow is not promised to anyone.

 

[adelaster]

The thread about vacations and charging them to Credit Cards got me thinking about something my great aunt told me when I was young that changed my thinking and that I am still always mindful of.

She told me that she and her husband were always, always savers. They put money away and didn't do much else. They had big plans how they were going to on trips and see things and do things as soon as he retired. Well, he retired and a month later fell over dead.

Because of their saving, she lived a comfortable life until she was 102, when she passed (fully mentis compos) in her sleep. However, until she died, she regretted that they hadn't done anything together when they'd had each other. He never got to go on all those trips; they didn't get to discover any of those wonderful places together.

Her advice was to be frugal and save, but not to the point that you don't have adventures now. Enjoy each other and have some special moments and adventures today, because tomorrow is not promised to anyone.

Love this! Thank you for sharing.

 

[gottalovepluto]

That's beautiful! thank you for sharing it!

 

[georgina]

Haven't seen the thread you referenced. My dad's advice was to never charge anything you couldn't pay off at the end of the month, and that advice has served me well. Having special moments and adventures does not need to be costly.

 

[Felicis]

This is excellent advice. I believe that there is always a happy medium, which will enable you to do things you really want without being silly, financially. A trip to DW is a massive investment when you are travelling as far as we are, but for us, it is worth it because of the memories we will create with our child. Having 3 friends (all mothers in their 30s) going through cancer treatment at the moment, I am very aware that our time is not guaranteed, and putting things off to when you can do things easily can mean you miss out completely.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

My parents were also savers. They (especially my Mom) always wanted to go to WDW during Christmas. My husband and I took them in December 2002. My Dad just retired. Our last night there, we took them to Shula's to celebrate his retirement. Got him a cake, put three candles on it representing the past, present and future. My Dad died 10 months later. I treasure that time and so glad we took them there.

 

[adisneyaunt]

My parents were also savers. They (especially my Mom) always wanted to go to WDW during Christmas. My husband and I took them in December 2002. My Dad just retired. Our last night there, we took them to Shula's to celebrate his retirement. Got him a cake, put three candles on it representing the past, present and future. My Dad died 10 months later. I treasure that time and so glad we took them there.

So sorry for your loss. What a wonderful disney memory to treasure forever!

 

[bianca]

My DH was diagnosed with leukemia at age 42. He was treated and has been in remission for 15 years now. As a result, we take the vacations, enjoy the experiences and "hope" for the future. We have some money saved and have both SS and a pension to cover our expenses after retirement. Everything we own is paid off. In a perfect world, we will grow old together, but we all know it's not a perfect world. The OP's Great Aunt was right ....... don't wait.

 

[Shanti]

The thread about vacations and charging them to Credit Cards got me thinking about something my great aunt told me when I was young that changed my thinking and that I am still always mindful of.

She told me that she and her husband were always, always savers. They put money away and didn't do much else. They had big plans how they were going to on trips and see things and do things as soon as he retired. Well, he retired and a month later fell over dead.

Because of their saving, she lived a comfortable life until she was 102, when she passed (fully mentis compos) in her sleep. However, until she died, she regretted that they hadn't done anything together when they'd had each other. He never got to go on all those trips; they didn't get to discover any of those wonderful places together.

Her advice was to be frugal and save, but not to the point that you don't have adventures now. Enjoy each other and have some special moments and adventures today, because tomorrow is not promised to anyone.

Thank you for sharing. Her advice was very wise.

My situation is a bit of the reverse, chronologically. When my son was a toddler and younger child, we struggled mightily with his autism. I also had to struggle with not being in a stable relationship, with having little money despite working full-time, etc. Times were hard for several years and there was a lot of self-denial. Now that my son is older and high-functioning, and my life is better personally and financially, I don't hesitate to go on regular vacations. We simply never had the opportunity before, but we do now, and we take advantage of it to create some wonderful memories.

I don't go into debt for the trips ("no credit cards" is my motto), but I don't squirrel away my every penny into savings, either. We're put on this Earth to live.

 

[piccolopat]

Your aunt was very wise and this is good advice. Save what you can but don't save so much that you don't live life today. It is important to note that when someone doesn't have money saved for their future or in an emergency fund, taking vacations for the experience should have limits. It is very possible to build great memories with your kids and family members on a shoestring. No one has to spend many thousands of dollars going to Disney every year and go into debt to build those memories. You can do Disney on a tight budget or vacation closer to home and still have fun. The stress of debt can't be underestimated and I would never suggest going into long term debt to pay for a vacation.

 

[kniquy]

Her advice was to be frugal and save, but not to the point that you don't have adventures now. Enjoy each other and have some special moments and adventures today, because tomorrow is not promised to anyone.

thank you for sharing this story -- she gave you invaluable advice. It is very common story to hear with people of their generation having lived through the depression and even my parents (now in their 70's and 80's) have always been frugal and we only took local camping trips when we were younger. Now that they have been retired for quite a few years they are using their savings to go on trips - alaska & panama cruises. But i do think that as a family we missed out on great family adventures around this wonderful country.

That is where i hope to do things a little differently for my kids -- our financial plan is to save for our retirement (because i always hear this is where your money should go first), then our general savings, then college (we may not have it fully funded but we will help as best we can). We want to have experiences with our kids that they will remember for a life time, but at the same time not put ourselves into debt because of it.

I think experiences and memories have much more value than money sitting in a bank account.

 

[my2lovedisney]

I agree with your aunt. I'm so sorry for you loss. I tell my husband this all the time. He grew up poor, so $ is like a treasure to him, and he never wants to spend it on adventures. He thinks it is a waste. I always tell him, you can't take it with you. Enjoy life and your family.

 

[Ngwira]

The thread about vacations and charging them to Credit Cards got me thinking about something my great aunt told me when I was young that changed my thinking and that I am still always mindful of.

She told me that she and her husband were always, always savers. They put money away and didn't do much else. They had big plans how they were going to on trips and see things and do things as soon as he retired. Well, he retired and a month later fell over dead.

Because of their saving, she lived a comfortable life until she was 102, when she passed (fully mentis compos) in her sleep. However, until she died, she regretted that they hadn't done anything together when they'd had each other. He never got to go on all those trips; they didn't get to discover any of those wonderful places together.

Her advice was to be frugal and save, but not to the point that you don't have adventures now. Enjoy each other and have some special moments and adventures today, because tomorrow is not promised to anyone.

Amen. My philosophy in life.

 

[ceecee]

My aunt and uncle put all of their extra $ into their business, which he planned to sell at retirement and go on a long Hawaii vacation. Well, he did sell the business and made a very nice sum...unfortunately my aunt passed away from breast cancer in her early 60's, he remarried and the new wife got to do all the things my aunt sacrificed to save $. That being said, vacations are extremely important to us, but so is having $ in the bank so there are compromises.

 

[Legendteri]

I grew up in a large family so we never went on vacation. Maybe a staycation here and there but not really a vacation. When asked about it, my mom implied that vacations were something rich people did. In 2012 when I was planning our first trip to DIsneyworld, I was struggling with spending the money. Not necessarily about going into debt but more should that money go into savings or not. What if this happens, what if that happens ? I was getting so much anxiety and guilt about taking my kids on a trip to DIsney World. Then I stumbled upon an article. A reporter interviewed hospice workers and asked them what most people talked about on their death beds. The hospice workers said people mostly talked about their regrets and 1. not spending enough time with loved ones 2. working too many hours 3. not traveling around this wonderful world.

That article was right what I needed at that moment. It was a gift. It helped me realize that my kids will only be little once. I only get them for 18 short years before they are considered adults and possibly on their own. I don't want to be one of those people on my death bed wishing I would have taken the plunge and taken my babies to Disney World. The anxiety and guilt and shame I was feeling was lifted.

 

[Daniela Rose]

I completely agree. Growing up my parents were savers. Especially my dad. Plus he was commission based so he also never wanted to take off from work. I literally went on a vacatio once my entire childhood (but my dad promised me I would graduate college without owing a dime which I did).

My parents had big plans when they retired. A day that would never come for my mom after being diagnosed with cancer at age 58 and passing 4 months later.

It's something my dad will always regret...not taking those trips.

Memories are priceless.

 

[Legendteri]

I completely agree. Growing up my parents were savers. Especially my dad. Plus he was commission based so he also never wanted to take off from work. I literally went on a vacatio once my entire childhood (but my dad promised me I would graduate college without owing a dime which I did).

My parents had big plans when they retired. A day that would never come for my mom after being diagnosed with cancer at age 58 and passing 4 months later.

It's something my dad will always regret...not taking those trips.

Memories are priceless.

Daniela Rose, your kids are about the same age my kids were when we went the first time. I hope you guys have a magical vacation.

 

[kymom99]

My family never took vacations either until I was 14 and we went to visit friends of my mom in another state. Part of it was money but also my dad was a part time farmer and summer was his busy time. We did things together as a family, but I didn't see the ocean until I was 24. I'm not complaining. My parents made sure we had everything we needed. My dad retired at 54 and he and mom went to florida for 2 weeks. It was mom's first trip to the beach. Then they took a trip out west, driving all the way to California. At 63 my dad had a massive stroke and although he survived, he didn't want to travel anymore. So glad he retired when he did and that they took these trips. Now they are both gone. They left plenty of assests behind.

 

[fifthdimensiondweller]

Love this! Reminds me of the story I always tell about my own dad when this topic comes up. He and my mom were also savers (although they did travel a good bit still, they had much bigger plans for post retirement). He retired when I was 19 in overall good health and 11 months later he was dead from cancer. Of course it's important to be practical, but at the same time you have to have a balance and live for today sometimes. No one EVER thinks it's going to happen to them! Everyone always says "Oh we're in perfect health/ cancer doesn't run in my family/ my parents lived to be 100" etc. etc. Let me tell you, it can happen to you! My life motto is prepare for tomorrow and live for today!

 

[dosekies]

Thank you for posting this! It is coming at a time where I needed to see it.

I am still young and just this past week signed for my first apartment with my significant other. I've never moved out of my parents' house except for college and I have always been very smart about my money - I currently save a lot, paid off my car in 10 months, and have been paying a lot more than the minimum on my college loans to get ahead. I've been freaking out about moving out because I know I will not be able to save as much as I currently am, but am coming to terms with that being ok because this is a part of life! I need to learn that while I do need to save and be responsible, it is also ok to go out and do things for 'you' sometimes.