My friend is..

[DisGirlAllie]

See I am so confused. Some say threaten the relation and others say don't.
I want to be their for her, but I don't know how to.

Try to help her but not threaten it at the same time.
She'll feel alone and that is the worst thing to feel.

 

[Princess_Dot]

See I am so confused. Some say threaten the relation and others say don't.
I want to be their for her, but I don't know how to.

I would say something like "I will always be there for you if you want to talk, but Im not going to stand by and watch you hurt yourself. When your ready for help, I will be here for you"

That way your showing her you care, but also that you dont support her destructive behavior.

This is how one of my friends got me to confess to my parents about my eating disorder. She told me she still cared about me, but she could not consiously (sp?) support the behavior I was exibiting.

 

[Dis_Chick71]

how can I be friends with her, if she won't "except" me?

 

[DisGirlAllie]

how can I be friends with her, if she won't "except" me?

Like Princess Dot said.
Tell her you are still her friend but you are not going to stand by and watch her hurt herself.

 

[BabyPiglet]

Just make it known that you will be there when she's ready.

On another note, I'd definitely get her help.

 

[imabrat]

See I am so confused. Some say threaten the relation and others say don't.
I want to be their for her, but I don't know how to.

I take it from the point you are one of her closets friends, no? No doubt I would threaten the relationship. You can stop cutting and I will be there for you no matter what, or you can choose to keep cutting and lose me as a friend. I refuse to sit by and watch it happen. Sometimes you need to get radical and push with certain people. Some may need a wake up call, if she's making excuses constantly is it possible she just doesn't realize the REAL repurcussions of her actions?

JMHO. Do what you need to do. That's what's most important.

 

[Dis_Chick71]

"I will always be there for you if you want to talk, but Im not going to stand by and watch you hurt yourself. When your ready for help, I will be here for you"

I have told her that, but she just gets mad at me.

 

[Princess_Dot]

how can I be friends with her, if she won't "except" me?

Be open. When you see her remind her that she should confess to someone. Keep reminding her what she is doing is wrong. Keep telling her your ready to talk when she is. Eventually she will open up. All you can do now is be ready.

 

[DisGirlAllie]

"I will always be there for you if you want to talk, but Im not going to stand by and watch you hurt yourself. When your ready for help, I will be here for you"

I have told her that, but she just gets mad at me.

Give it time.
When you're as deep into it as she is, then you really don't want help from anyone and yet at the same time you feel alone.
Keep telling her that and one day out of the blue it will click in her mind.

 

[imabrat]

"I will always be there for you if you want to talk, but Im not going to stand by and watch you hurt yourself. When your ready for help, I will be here for you"

I have told her that, but she just gets mad at me.

You are doing this for her own good. Hopefully, she'll realize that. And soon.

 

[Dis_Chick71]

All of her others friend are just standing back and watching her do it.
I'm not going to.
Like all of you said I do help her and other ppl do too. I am just worried that because it is so close to summer vacation, she might do it over the vacation?!

would it be bad/good if my mom talked to her mom?

 

[Princess_Dot]

All of her others friend are just standing back and watching her do it.
I'm not going to.
Like all of you said I do help her and other ppl do too. I am just worried that because it is so close to summer vacation?!

would it be bad/good if my mom talked to her mom?

I say good. Maybe talk to her Mom and explain that you think her daughter has something to confess. Possibly be there (if your truely one of her best friends) to support her telling her Mom. A little support can go a long way.

 

[DisGirlAllie]

All of her others friend are just standing back and watching her do it.
I'm not going to.
Like all of you said I do help her and other ppl do too. I am just worried that because it is so close to summer vacation, she might do it over the vacation?!

would it be bad/good if my mom talked to her mom?

She'll get mad.
REALLY MAD.
But, in the long run she'll thank you for it.
It may be years from now, but you'll know you did the right thing.
Just remember that.

 

[imabrat]

Definitely get the mom involved.

I say who cares if she's mad NOW, she will apprieciate it LATER.

 

[Dis_Chick71]

she I have MY mom tell her or should I tell her?

 

[DisGirlAllie]

she I have MY mom tell her or should I tell her?

you

 

[BabyPiglet]

I say you tell her mom.

 

[diva122094]

I think you should tell your mom,then get her to talk to your friends mom or dad.Because that is horrible.

 

[Boomer1]

if you feel like you can explain the situation better and that you can keep control and explain logically the situation i think you should tell her, but if you feel like you might freak out a little ask your mom to do it. it also depends on how well you know your friends mom, if she will believe you easily or with little doubt and you feel like you can talk to her easily, you should tell her yourself.

gl with your friend, and remember to tell her that she is loved and doesnt need to do this to herself. its not her fault for anything, and telling her what she is doing is wrong may hurt her. she may feel like no one understands how she feels and its important that she knows alothough you think she should choose to stop you will be there for whatever she needs.

keep it up! stay loyal to your friends!

 

[BAMBIFOREVER]

the best advice is to tell her parents she will be mad at first but she will forgive you in the end