Crohn's disease? I was recently diagnosed with this... I am thankful to be responding, so far, to Remicade treatments and have not had to entertain surgery quite yet. I assume hers was too far gone when they found it.
Usually, it does come on very quickly, but often, damage is there much longer than symptoms. They think I've had it for years, based off previous lab reports, but it wasnt' caught until I was unable to heal a surgical wound AND I developed intensive pain almost overnight that prevented me from eating for 2 months. It took awhle to diagnose, as well, so it takes time to get tests and such done.
I'm so sorry she's struggling so much... I pray I never reach that point. I hope she has a great team of GI doctors that can get things under control. Many many Crohn's patients have most of all of their intestines removed and are able to live active lives... So sad for her children.
Let me know if you have any Crohn's questions, I'll try to help! You're a good friend =)