My family is soooo frustrating....... (vent)

meloneyb21

DIS Veteran
Joined
Nov 17, 2005
Messages
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Earlier this year we told different family members that we were going to Disney World in April and that if they wanted to go too than at that moment would be the time to start planning. Everybody was just sooo nonchalant about it :cool1: . We've said we were going to Disney World before but we were not able to financially, so it was never followed through......Before (sometime in 2004) everybody else was all like "Yeah, we're going to go to Disney World!" and this was when THEY had the money, but we still didn't and nobody seemed to care, but yet they still didn't go. OOOOh, how the roles have switched, now we are in a waaay better financial situation than we were before and everybody else isn't. See, we don't discuss our financial status to anybody else because we feel as though it's none of their business, so when we finally said we're ready to go, nobody believed us......Oh, well, what can you say? I'm not just going to talk about, it's going to get DONE!

Now, we are leaving on April 2 and getting everything prepared, buying some new luggage and everything and people are starting to realize that we weren't lying. These people by the way are my SIL, MIL, & cousins. Why would I lie about something so petty?... So now they CAN'T afford to go unless they stay off-site for less time than we're staying. So they're like "I want to go." "Why didn't you tell us sooner?" "We want to stay where YOU are." When I told them, they were just blowing me off like it wasn't possible, so now when I went to look at our resort (Coronado Springs) it is booked solid at the time we're going. So I'm like what's the big deal? Just stay at another resort or hotel. But noooooooo, they're not willing to reason because they want everything their way. So now, everybody's acting all pouty and mad like DH and I just left them in the dark (cry me a river :sad: :charac2: ). They're acting like we're being selfish but we have no control over the rooms at the resort and we are NOT paying for all of them. They make us feel like we're sooooo wrong. Are we?

I tell them, you either pick another resort or just don't go at all. It's always like a competition to them. Neither of us have never been, so they're trying to make it like a whoever goes first type thing. I have never been so disgusted in my life. My DH and I have our own lives to live with our DD and choose not to let anyone else screw up this trip. It's like, if they can't go, then we shouldn't go either. Now I'm 22 and my DH is 23 but it seems like we are way more mature than his sister 25 and his mother. I have never heard of anything so petty in my life! :mad:

Forget them, I'm way tooo excited about our trip!!!! :Pinkbounc :cheer2: :Pinkbounc
 
Let them plan their own trip - have them get their own rooms, etc. You don't have to do it for them. If they can't get into the same resort, or can't afford it, oh well. Tell them you just don't have the time right now to do the trip for them, give them the basic info about your trip, and let them deal with it. They'll either get it together and do it, or they won't, but you'll still be going to the best place in the world!
 

I'm not so sure I would actively encourage these people to vacation at the same place and time as me........are they going to behave like this when they join you too?
 
Most likely they WOULD act the same way......I don't care if they don't go 'til 2010!
 
Tell them kindly but firmly....This is when we will be there and this is where we are staying.. We have PS for these resturants for these dates. If any of you choose to join us for any of the above we would love it. Then direct them to the DIs boards and go about planning your trip. Bet NO ONE follows through.

Go and enjoy your trip.
 
ok, here's my 2 cents.....

If you truely think that they will not go, for financial reasons, or planning reasons, or whatever reasons.... I would just quietly be excited with your dh & dd! Your inlaws probably really want to go, but don't have the finances or ability to plan a vacation!!! :confused3 So, rather than stress yourselves out, just don't discuss it with them. You have made your reservations, if they truely want to go, they can plan it themselves, it is NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!!!!!!
Taking vactions with extended family can be very stressful, even when you are all close and get along great. (can you tell I've have a few of these experiences?? :rotfl: ) Especially having a little one, they aren't going to want to do the same things that you are. For them, it will be 'about them' not 'about the baby' . Maybe I am wrong, but it sounds like they are already being selfish, and they aren't even going yet!

So.. go, just your own family, and you will have a wonderful time just the three of you that will be a special memory for the rest of your lives! Here is some :wizard: That all works out whatever happens!!
 
I say go for it and have a great time :banana: Coronado Springs is a huge hotel anyway, so even if they were staying there, who's to say their room would be close by anyway? Pop Century is the closest value to there, but honestly, its over to them. If they really want to go, then they will, regardless of the hotel. Do not budge on your plans in any way, you have invested time and money into this and its your first time so you should be free to enjoy it without compromise. Like another poster said, give them your schedule and invite them to join where they want but do not change a thing.

I hope you have the most wonderful trip,
Claire xx
 
I agree with the others my extended family said they wanted to go too july2-8 2006 but everytime i tell them that we will be putting down our deposit in two weeks they say ok. I have been letting them know for months. I should not stop planning because they are not on the same pages as me my dh dd10 and ds6 have never been and i since i was 6(now33) so i am going on with my plans reguardless of who goes or not.

HAVE FUN GIRL!!!!! :banana: :cheer2: :cheer2: :banana:
 
:cool1: Completely understand!!

We are leaving on Feb 5, I'll proably tell my family at the same time I tell my 4yo DS.....on Feb 4!!
 
I say, do what you have to do and enjoy your vacation guilt free!! I probably wouldn't put too much more energy into it given you tried to tell them earlier in the process but they didn't jump on it. It is your first trip, you shouldn't let anything bring it down. I am also having similar family issues which I posted about earlier. It is so hard sometimes to be delicate about things so no one's feelings get hurt!

Have fun!!!!!!!!!
 
Hi! :wave:

Hakuna Matata (spelling?)

I hope you have a Magical Time! :wizard:
 
I completely understand about the competition thing. We were fortunate enough to go last April (a great trip and a great time to go). I got the distinct impression from my brother that he was jealous and couldn't believe I was in a position to do this trip and he wasn't. (he is 1 year younger). Also I think he half expected our parents to pony up the dough so he could take his family. Unfortunately families often get into this type of oneupmanship. The kicker is my father would show my nephew the pics I emailed nightly to record our trip and let him call my cell phone to talk to my kids about the trip. Nephew thought it was great but I think it ticked my brother off even more. He still refuses to see the pics or talk about anything Disney.

Don't worry about the family. You had already done your part. You told them when you were going, what dates, hotel, your general expectations, and they chose to blow you off until they saw it all materialize before them.
How are you to blame for their procrastination? Besides whose vacation is it anyway. Go, enjoy, and if they are still being snippy, just rub it in their faces (just a little, no sense in starting a war)
 
You go ahead with your vacation and have a good time. Trust me, I was in the same situation in 2001. No one took us serious either. When we made our deposit. I called them and told them that day. Everyone had wished they had gone once we returned. The good thing about all of this is you will never top the first initial trip, and you will be doing with you and your husband. Enjoy!!!! I wish I was going this year too!
 
unbroken chain said:
I'm not so sure I would actively encourage these people to vacation at the same place and time as me........are they going to behave like this when they join you too?

I agree ::yes::

Let them make their own arrangements if they must go. I would not get involved in any of their trip planning.
 












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