My DS Proudly Told Me...

[Mermaid02]

What if the OP had said her 15 year old DAUGHTER had come home bragging about making out with a boy at the movies and then announced plans to make out with a different boy next weekend?

 

[Shmily1]

Hang in there OP. Your doing fine and taking care of your children like you see fit. Kids don't come with an owner's manual and it's all trial and error. Evidently, some of us on here are a little more perfect than others...

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

Hang in there OP. Your doing fine and taking care of your children like you see fit. Kids don't come with an owner's manual and it's all trial and error. Evidently, some of us on here are a little more perfect than others...

I agree everyone should take care of their kids in the way they see fit. (Abuse, neglect, etc of course excluded and this doesn't apply.)

I am not a perfect parent. I have made many mistakes. I ask for advice when I need it from people who have been there,then I take what works for us.

Kids should come with a manual. You'd think my now there would be a "What to Expect..." book for teenagers.

If I came across as jusdging, I am sorry. I was offering my advise which can be thrown out the window if OP desires. However if it helps, then great!

 

[declansdad]

Well, IMO (and that is what you are asking for by posting on a message board, I know, I have posted things and got both sides, I took what I wanted out of it and ignored what didn't apply.) Anyway, my personal opinion, that she can take or leave, is that there would be no priveledges like going to the movies till he paid back the $6000 he stole. Harsh? Maybe. But that is MY opinion and what would happen in this family. She doesn't have to take it, but since she asked I am adding my thoughts.

I see nothing wrong with this. Your point is simply suggesting some discipline measures for a teenage boy. You are making reasonable suggestions.

What I have a problem with is people analyzing the situation based on a couple of points and telling the op her son is out of control and needs to seek help.

 

[Kathi OD]

Maybe in your NJ town...not in mine. They are tough here!

Allison, that will be changing. There is an initiative (JDAI) being rolled out throughout the state by the Juvenile Justice Commission that dramatically changes how juveniles are treated post-arrest. I believe that currently 10 counties have implemented the change. Towns and counties do not have the ability to opt out.

I can tell you that there are, right now, more than just a handful of juveniles throughout the state who have been charged with very serious crimes, and they are at home, on a monitoring device that is supposed to keep them from leaving their home except during school hours, while waiting for their cases to be ajudicated.

In the very near future, it will become the norm throughout the state, that only those juveniles with crimes serious enough to face waiver to the adult system will be held in juvenile detention for more than a few days, unless they are habitual offenders.

Personally, while the state touts this initiative as being quite successful, those of us who work day in and day out with these kids, don't see it anywhere near as successful as the state and the funding partner would like people to believe. But that's another entirely different thread.

 

[allison443]

Allison, that will be changing. There is an initiative (JDAI) being rolled out throughout the state by the Juvenile Justice Commission that dramatically changes how juveniles are treated post-arrest. I believe that currently 10 counties have implemented the change. Towns and counties do not have the ability to opt out.

I can tell you that there are, right now, more than just a handful of juveniles throughout the state who have been charged with very serious crimes, and they are at home, on a monitoring device that is supposed to keep them from leaving their home except during school hours, while waiting for their cases to be ajudicated.

In the very near future, it will become the norm throughout the state, that only those juveniles with crimes serious enough to face waiver to the adult system will be held in juvenile detention for more than a few days, unless they are habitual offenders.

Personally, while the state touts this initiative as being quite successful, those of us who work day in and day out with these kids, don't see it anywhere near as successful as the state and the funding partner would like people to believe. But that's another entirely different thread.

I had not heard of this...very interesting info! Thank you.

 

[Mermaid02]

What if the OP had said her 15 year old DAUGHTER had come home bragging about making out with a boy at the movies and then announced plans to make out with a different boy next weekend?

Yes, I'm quoting myself.

I think people would have a different reaction- not "boys will be boys" or "girls will be girls" rather.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

Yes, I'm quoting myself.

I think people would have a different reaction- not "boys will be boys" or "girls will be girls" rather.

I neer said boys will be boys, I said I can see people saying that but that even if you thought that yo ucouldn't say that about the money. I only have girls so I don't know but I would talk to my kids about respecing themselves and that if they don't noone will.