My DS Proudly Told Me...

[allison443]

Not if they live in NJ they don't. they get released to their parents.

Maybe in your NJ town...not in mine. They are tough here!

 

[krcit]

I third this sentiment.

Let me just ask a question, though. Has your son been listening to too much Lady Gaga perhaps???? I've heard her music will cause this type of behavior.

 

[Disney Doll]

I presume, OP, that you are handling this the way you think best.

I would also tell you that from the little information you have posted here, your child sounds a little less like a "typical" teen and a little more like a problem.

Stealing $6000 at age 13 is not normal teen behavior.

Openly defying your parents is normal teen behavior, but one would think that since this kid got himself into some pretty hot water a while back with the $6000 thing, he'd be a little less cocky about doing bad stuff.

"Announcing" that he plans on making out with his next date is just skanky.

All in all, if I was a 15 year old girl, I'd be staying FAR away from your DS.

 

[sunshine girl]

"Suzie, we'll pick you up at 7pm and head to the movie theater. When we get there we'll buy some soda and popcorn. Oh, and by the way, I plan on making out with you."

Totally hilarious! It sounded like a scheduled event. If I were his intended, er, make-out-ee, I would be most disinclined to acquiesce given this unromantic advance notice! Hee hee.

(had to quote a bit of pirates, there!)

 

[declansdad]

Not an expert by any means, but I am degreed in child and adolescent psychology.

From what the OP has presented, if a therapist really claimed that stealing $6,000 is just normal middle school teen behavior, I still maintain that the OP should be running for a new therapist.

Well you may have some education to back you up but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have taught you to make a diagnosis from a few postings on a message board.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Flag on the field, unnecessary roughness!

I don't think anything that was said even remotely resembles a diagnosis.

 

[declansdad]

Flag on the field, unnecessary roughness!

I don't think anything that was said even remotely resembles a diagnosis.

People are telling the OP that her son is out of control and needs to see another counselor. Sounds like a Dis diagnosis to me.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

Well you may have some education to back you up but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have taught you to make a diagnosis from a few postings on a message board.

You are very right. I have not even commented on the son, let alone diagnosed him. Where in the world did you get that? It seems you are lumping many posts together and attributing them to a few posters

What I have commented on was the therapist. And I will continue to maintain that if a therapist believes that stealing $6,000 is a "typical" 13 year old teenage activity, then for her own sake, the OP needs to explore new therapists.

 

[declansdad]

You are very right. I have not even commented on the son, let alone diagnosed him. Where in the world did you get that? It seems you are lumping many posts together and attributing them to a few posters

What I have commented on was the therapist. And I will continue to maintain that if a therapist believes that stealing $6,000 is a "typical" 13 year old teenage activity, then for her own sake, the OP needs to explore new therapists.

Never said it was you but I still believe that without knowing the entire conversation, recommending a new therapist is just talk and not based on anything factual.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

Never said it was you but I still believe that without knowing the entire conversation, recommending a new therapist is just talk and not based on anything factual.

Not an expert by any means, but I am degreed in child and adolescent psychology

From what the OP has presented, if a therapist really claimed that stealing $6,000 is just normal middle school teen behavior, I still maintain that the OP should be running for a new therapist.

Well you may have some education to back you up but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have taught you to make a diagnosis from a few postings on a message board.

Funny, when you quote me and then tell me that you are pretty sure I wasn't taught to make a diagnosis from a few postings on a message board, it does seem you meant the post to be for me.

I would quit while you are ahead. You are starting to trip over yourself. And that is an observation, not a diagnosis.

 

[declansdad]

Funny, when you quote me and then tell me that you are pretty sure I wasn't taught to make a diagnosis from a few postings on a message board, it does seem you meant the post to be for me.

I would quit while you are ahead. You are starting to trip over yourself. And that is an observation, not a diagnosis.

The teaching comment was related directly to you but there are others in this thread thread that have said similar things. I was trying to keep the comments general in nature but it seems that is becoming more difficult.

No one on this thread can tell the op what her son is like, that she needs to take more control, that she needs another therapist, etc. She wrote about two minor incidents regarding her son and in true Dis fashion, the armchair experts came running to the rescue. Unless there is one of here that knows or is living with the op, we can't really make those types of comments.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Wow, so now this has become fodder for unwarranted personal attacks. Gotta Luv the DIS!

Okay, here goes.
I am in no way making a diagnosis.
I am in no way a specialist of any kind.
But, as a human being and as a parent, I feel that this qualifies me to have an opinion. I agree with the posters who feel that things seem to be really 'OFF' in this whole scenario.

1. There is NO way on earth that my son would have stolen, or spent, even a fraction of that amount of money without my and my husband's knowledge.

2. There is also NO way on earth that there would people in my house without my DH's awareness. Not ever...

3. There is no way that I would consider what is legally considered to be Grand Theft as 'just normal teenaged behavior'.

4. I do feel that, in the sum-total bigger picture, these are major (not minor) offenses.

I think it is begging for trouble when, no matter what a kid does, it is always JUST a minor offense... JUST typical behavior...

 

[SOnotLayuh]

Good luck, OP!

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I know you can't beat a dead horse and it has been 2 years but I think that should be your biggest concern. If my kids took $6 out of my purse without my permission they would be in some serious trouble. (Then again $6 is about all I ever have in my wallet and it would be obvious if it were gone!) Make that $60 and they would not see sunlight for a very, very long time. $6000 I think I'd call the police myself. I'd want them to learn, right then what happens when you steal.

Kissing multiple girls may be "boys will be boys" (and why I am so scared to have 3 girls) but stealing $6000 is criminal (whether it is form mom and dad or not.)

*(I know this was not the point of the original post, but since OP commented on it and confirmed it I commented as well.)

 

[manning]

I know that I want to know this stuff, but I don't want to know it. KWIM?

My DS, like most other 15yos thinks he's the smartest person on the planet and you can't tell him anything.

He's also recently taken to sneaking one of his friends in during the evening to play x-box. He knows he's not allowed to have friends over during the week because his grades slip tremendously when he's allowed to have fun with friends during the school week. Yet, I've caught his buddy in my basement twice in the last 3 weeks. We're getting ready to install an alarm system so I can hear whenever a door or window opens so I know what's going on in the basement when I'm on another floor.

Next step is installing locked doors on my bar so when he has the inclination to drink, it won't be from my stock.

Just trying to stay a step ahead of his thinking and man is it hard.

Hidden baby monitor, it's cheaper.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

Given that I was making out with my bf when I was 12 at the movies, this is not a big deal to me.

Although if I was my mom and I found about that, I would kick my own butt!

 

[disneyjunkie]

Let me just ask a question, though. Has your son been listening to too much Lady Gaga perhaps???? I've heard her music will cause this type of behavior.

[

 

[declansdad]

I know you can't beat a dead horse and it has been 2 years but I think that should be your biggest concern. If my kids took $6 out of my purse without my permission they would be in some serious trouble. (Then again $6 is about all I ever have in my wallet and it would be obvious if it were gone!) Make that $60 and they would not see sunlight for a very, very long time. $6000 I think I'd call the police myself. I'd want them to learn, right then what happens when you steal.

Kissing multiple girls may be "boys will be boys" (and why I am so scared to have 3 girls) but stealing $6000 is criminal (whether it is form mom and dad or not.)

*(I know this was not the point of the original post, but since OP commented on it and confirmed it I commented as well.)

The op did comment on the theft and confirmed that it had taken place two years ago. She also confirmed that it has been looked after. The only other problems the op brings up are the kissing girls at the movies and sneaking a friend into the house to play X-Box.

From these 3 things, people are telling her that her her son is out of control. That is quite a leap in real life but apparently not on this message board.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

The op did comment on the theft and confirmed that it had taken place two years ago. She also confirmed that it has been looked after. The only other problems the op brings up are the kissing girls at the movies and sneaking a friend into the house to play X-Box.

From these 3 things, people are telling her that her her son is out of control. That is quite a leap in real life but apparently not on this message board.

Well, IMO (and that is what you are asking for by posting on a message board, I know, I have posted things and got both sides, I took what I wanted out of it and ignored what didn't apply.) Anyway, my personal opinion, that she can take or leave, is that there would be no priveledges like going to the movies till he paid back the $6000 he stole. Harsh? Maybe. But that is MY opinion and what would happen in this family. She doesn't have to take it, but since she asked I am adding my thoughts.

 

[wdwfan16]

Well, IMO (and that is what you are asking for by posting on a message board, I know, I have posted things and got both sides, I took what I wanted out of it and ignored what didn't apply.) Anyway, my personal opinion, that she can take or leave, is that there would be no priveledges like going to the movies till he paid back the $6000 he stole. Harsh? Maybe. But that is MY opinion and what would happen in this family. She doesn't have to take it, but since she asked I am adding my thoughts.

ITA

Also he has only paid back $1K in 2 years. That is basically $10/week. It sounds like they are writing it off and making him work for them on Saturday. He could shovel snow, mow lawns, rake leave or weed garderns and earned a few thousand a year.