My DS Proudly Told Me...

[RUDisney]

that he made out with a girl at the movies on Saturday night.

He turned 15 last week and I know that is what kids do. I've always had an open relationship with him and his sister, so he knows he can tell me anything.

But, now I'm turning into a prude! There are some things I don't want to know.

He also told me that this weekend he wants to go to the movies with another girl he likes and he already told her that he plans to make out with her.

That bought him a lecture on respecting girls and what others in the theater will think about him and the girl.

Ack! So many more years of this and more!

 

[damren]

Oh I am SOOO not looking forward to that age
except I will have the DD who will turn all hormonal when she finds out the boy she made out last week is making out with someone else next week!

 

[luvmy3]

You definitely want to know this stuff, that way you can keep tabs on what he's doing. My friend is going through some stuff with her ds (almost 16) and she's so shocked at what she is finding out. I want to shake and her say "He's 16 and has had a girlfriend for a the past 2 years, did you really think they were just holding hands"

 

[PrincessDana]

That's so funny!!!

My DD15 went to the movies as a birthday gift from her "boyfriend" last month. I was teasing her before she left and said "don't make out in the theater."

She GOT MAD at me, talking about how gross it is to do that kind of stuff in public and "what kind of girl" did I think she was..... Of course, I was just kidding anyway.

She wouldn't even let him kiss her goodnight in the doorway because his parents dropped her back off at the house and, according to her, it's "disrespectful to do that kind of stuff in front of parents."

It's one extreme to the other with teens!!

 

[RUDisney]

I know that I want to know this stuff, but I don't want to know it. KWIM?

My DS, like most other 15yos thinks he's the smartest person on the planet and you can't tell him anything.

He's also recently taken to sneaking one of his friends in during the evening to play x-box. He knows he's not allowed to have friends over during the week because his grades slip tremendously when he's allowed to have fun with friends during the school week. Yet, I've caught his buddy in my basement twice in the last 3 weeks. We're getting ready to install an alarm system so I can hear whenever a door or window opens so I know what's going on in the basement when I'm on another floor.

Next step is installing locked doors on my bar so when he has the inclination to drink, it won't be from my stock.

Just trying to stay a step ahead of his thinking and man is it hard.

 

[MichelleVW]

I would definitely be having the "don't kiss and tell everyone in the world" talk with that boy.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

I know that I want to know this stuff, but I don't want to know it. KWIM?

My DS, like most other 15yos thinks he's the smartest person on the planet and you can't tell him anything.

He's also recently taken to sneaking one of his friends in during the evening to play x-box. He knows he's not allowed to have friends over during the week because his grades slip tremendously when he's allowed to have fun with friends during the school week. Yet, I've caught his buddy in my basement twice in the last 3 weeks. We're getting ready to install an alarm system so I can hear whenever a door or window opens so I know what's going on in the basement when I'm on another floor.

Next step is installing locked doors on my bar so when he has the inclination to drink, it won't be from my stock.

Just trying to stay a step ahead of his thinking and man is it hard.

Absolutely not commenting on your choices or decisions, here.

Where will he get the alcohol from if he does decide to engage in under age drinking?

 

[babyrich]

I know that I want to know this stuff, but I don't want to know it. KWIM?

My DS, like most other 15yos thinks he's the smartest person on the planet and you can't tell him anything.

He's also recently taken to sneaking one of his friends in during the evening to play x-box. He knows he's not allowed to have friends over during the week because his grades slip tremendously when he's allowed to have fun with friends during the school week. Yet, I've caught his buddy in my basement twice in the last 3 weeks. We're getting ready to install an alarm system so I can hear whenever a door or window opens so I know what's going on in the basement when I'm on another floor.

Next step is installing locked doors on my bar so when he has the inclination to drink, it won't be from my stock.

Just trying to stay a step ahead of his thinking and man is it hard.

How bout locking up the X-box for a while??? than there is no reason for the friend to come over and your DS may realize there are consequences to breaking the rules.

My nephew continued to spend his nights playing video games, came home with a bad report card and all the games got put in mom and dad's closet for a while. When the grades came back up, he got the games back one by one to make sure he didnt slip again

 

[kellyg403]

Its hard to stay a step ahead isn't it? Especially when most of us vividly recall being 15 once. Though my kids think I was born being 40 already!

Kelly

 

[NHdisneylover]

I know that I want to know this stuff, but I don't want to know it. KWIM?
.

Yep

I am not there yet, but I know it must be comming and it is scary

 

[hentob]

We're getting ready to install an alarm system so I can hear whenever a door or window opens so I know what's going on in the basement when I'm on another floor.

So very sad that you have to install an alarm because your child refuses to respect you.

Its hard to stay a step ahead isn't it?

Really? I have to disagree. If someone EVER snuck into my house via window or basement door, it would NEVER happen again. He has done this more than once

At what point did he learn he didn’t have to listen to your rules

You have allowed him to defy you. He is now out of control. He is not afraid of consequences. Stop. Take a deep breath and gain control. Now. Today. You will be very sorry, as he is entering into a crucial phase in his life. Don’t let this go on

I would start with removing the X Box and hiding it. Make him earn it back. I would also only give him money for very basic needs. He would NOT be able to go the movies or anything else that is fun until he started following the house rules. How does he even get privileges like the movies? This is a child that is so defiant that you have to install an alarm, yet he is off at the movies?

Clamp down on him!

Good luck

 

[kellyg403]

So very sad that you have to install an alarm because your child refuses to respect you.





Really? I have to disagree. If someone EVER snuck into my house via window or basement door, it would NEVER happen again. He has done this more than once

At what point did he learn he didn’t have to listen to your rules

You have allowed him to defy you. He is now out of control. He is not afraid of consequences. Stop. Take a deep breath and gain control. Now. Today. You will be very sorry, as he is entering into a crucial phase in his life. Don’t let this go on

I would start with removing the X Box and hiding it. Make him earn it back. I would also only give him money for very basic needs. He would NOT be able to go the movies or anything else that is fun until he started following the house rules. How does he even get privileges like the movies? This is a child that is so defiant that you have to install an alarm, yet he is off at the movies?

Clamp down on him!

Good luck

I actually was commenting on the fact, as a parent we always want to believe our guys would never do anything we didn't want them to or have showed them not to do. Sometimes, we forget they are kids, are going to test their boundaries etc.

I believe in consequences, but unfortunately the act is already done. It opens our eyes to the fact that jr is quite capable of doing it. Assessing my childs personality based on reality means I have to know what they are capable of. What I know one of my children would do as opposed to the personality of another one of my children means I am always trying to keep ahead of them. I have one who was 18 and going to bed every night at 8, never had a problem, always knew where he was, he was rule player like his mom. I had another that thought the rules were bogus and for everyone else. I was in no way prepared after ds1 for dd2. I don't/didn't want our relationship to be always negative so stopping certain behaviors before they began just meant to me that I was paying attention to the realities of my children's personalities.

Kelly

 

[Kathi OD]

So very sad that you have to install an alarm because your child refuses to respect you.

Really? I have to disagree. If someone EVER snuck into my house via window or basement door, it would NEVER happen again. He has done this more than once

At what point did he learn he didn’t have to listen to your rules

You have allowed him to defy you. He is now out of control. He is not afraid of consequences. Stop. Take a deep breath and gain control. Now. Today. You will be very sorry, as he is entering into a crucial phase in his life. Don’t let this go on

I would start with removing the X Box and hiding it. Make him earn it back. I would also only give him money for very basic needs. He would NOT be able to go the movies or anything else that is fun until he started following the house rules. How does he even get privileges like the movies? This is a child that is so defiant that you have to install an alarm, yet he is off at the movies?

Clamp down on him!

Good luck

WOW! More than just a little judgemental.

Many teens test the waters, over and over and over again. That doesn't mean that OPs child has learned he doesn't have to follow the rules.

 

[hentob]

I don't/didn't want our relationship to be always negative so stopping certain behaviors before they began

Bravo!!!

That is totally the way to go!!

I often wonder how a child does something disrespectful twice (like sneaking kids through windows) and isn't TERRIFIED of the consequences.

Not to knock the OP, but her son is discussing who he is going to make out with next time he goes to the movies....HUH

Why does a child that is disobeying (to the point that a parent has to install alarms) get to even GO to the movies?

 

[hentob]

WOW! More than just a little judgemental.

Many teens test the waters, over and over and over again. That doesn't mean that OPs child has learned he doesn't have to follow the rules.

She is installing an alarm in her OWN house because her child REFUSES to listen to her.

He has most certainly learned that he does not have to follow the rules.

 

[krcit]

Absolutely not commenting on your choices or decisions, here.

Where will he get the alcohol from if he does decide to engage in under age drinking?

Where does any kid get it? I have made my feelings on underage drinking very well known to my dd. I also am not naive to think that she will never try it. I hope she doesn't but I remember being her age and she is actually a way better kid than I was. I drank when I was underage, my parenst didn't know b/c I had a system. My kids will not be able to use my 'system' b/c I'm on top of it but they may come up with another system.

 

[Kathi OD]

She is installing an alarm in her OWN house because her child REFUSES to listen to her.

He has most certainly learned that he does not have to follow the rules.

Have you never tested the waters? Not all kids are perfect and do everything they are told just because they are told. Some need to learn lessons the hard way. I can't tell you how many times my sister broke the same rules over and over again and was punished over and over again. The only thing that would have worked with my sister was locking her in the basement for all of her teen years (and that is illegal). It didn't mean that she learned she didn't have to follow the rules. It meant that she didn't learn as easily as the rest of us did and my parents needed to be proactive when it came to figuring out what she was up to and keep one step ahead of her.

Today, she's a hard-working, well-adjusted adult, who clearly knows what her teens are thinking before they even think it.

I'd be willing to be that the alarm is not just because the son has snuck a friend in 2 times.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Kissing is a two way street, if the girl kisses back, she's not being disrespected.

That being said, the talk should be, "Son, why on earth do you think its a good idea to be sharing this with your mom? Do you think that girl went home and gushed about her romantic evening with you to her dad? Would you have wanted her to?"

We're getting ready to install an alarm system so I can hear whenever a door or window opens so I know what's going on in the basement when I'm on another floor.

Well, if you think it will help. But the things I used to do in basements didn't make a sound.

 

[kellyg403]

Have you never tested the waters? Not all kids are perfect and do everything they are told just because they are told. Some need to learn lessons the hard way. I can't tell you how many times my sister broke the same rules over and over again and was punished over and over again. The only thing that would have worked with my sister was locking her in the basement for all of her teen years (and that is illegal). It didn't mean that she learned she didn't have to follow the rules. It meant that she didn't learn as easily as the rest of us did and my parents needed to be proactive when it came to figuring out what she was up to and keep one step ahead of her.

Today, she's a hard-working, well-adjusted adult, who clearly knows what her teens are thinking before they even think it.

I'd be willing to be that the alarm is not just because the son has snuck a friend in 2 times.

Its that old, you can lead horse to the water but you can't make them drink. Some kids are just what they are personality wise.

While I personally would take away the games etc before installing an alarm, some would install the alarm. What works best for another, may not for me. All I know, all kids..especially teens...are different. All parents have to decide what is best in their home, with their teens and move forward from there. Who am I to say that this teen doesn't require the alarm? This might be her one step ahead of the game. She already knows he is going to do what he needs to do with or without her permission. She may have decided that this IS being proactive!

Kelly

 

[shortbun]

Lock up the bar now OP, if they are sneaking into your house, the liquor is not far behind. We used to sneak out of one friend's home and into another one where we spent the night undetected and then we'd sneak back into the first house. We just did it because we could. It took climbing out a window, onto a tree branch, across a garage roof and down a lattice-then the reverse. At my house, I climbed down the tripod TV antenna, it was right outside my window. The boys weren't involved in our antics- they were breaking into another neighbors home and stealing 5ths of alcohol. We were in 8th grade. Scary, huh?