My DH doesn't like kids so.....

[jeffemy]

Originally posted by goofygirl
FYI: people of ALL ages make my "do not like list."

You totally missed my point. Bellhop implied that I should not comment on parenting because I am not a parent. Well, he is not a parent either so by his logic he should not be commenting on the issue as well.

Yet he's telling us all to give a misbehaving 5 year old (and his parents) a break!

I "got" your point, I simply asked a different question that you didn't answer and missed my point. AT what age in your opinion does a child become an adult, therefore having a chance of being worthy in your eyes of being appreciated as a human being? I'm simply wondering if Bellhop had a chance?

 

[tonyswife]

I can understand not liking bratty kids. I can understand not relating to kids and not enjoying spending time with them. They CAN be a bit overwhelming, especially very young kids. I can understand not wanting to have kids.

I do not understand the statement, "I don't like kids" and I don't understand why it's socially acceptable to make such a sweeping generalization. What if I said, "I don't like old people" or, "I don't like black people" or, "I don't like Jews" or something similar.

What is the OP had started out; "My husband doesn't like black people. He's a really nice guy, but he just doesn't want to spend time with black people. So, my sister was at our house with her friend who happens to be black. This person accidently stepped on his foot while walking by and my husband said, 'OUCH! Don't do that again" Ok, so he even if the person stepped on his foot again, it still wouldn't be an excuse to dislike ALL black people, just that one person.

Now, I know there are people that dislike groups in this way. But, if they cam onto theDIS and said it, they certainly wouldn't be getting all this, "it's ok to not like black people, it's a personal choice"

I think it's not unreasonable to ecpect adults to be polite to guests in their home and to expect them to be polite to the people when they are a guest in someone else's home. He does not have to like this kid, he does not have to like ANY kids, if he doesn't want to, but it's not OK to be rude to ANYone, even kids.

All that said, I DO find it obnoxious when parents expect everyone to fawn all over their kids.

JMHO

 

[momof2inPA]

Gone, just like that. Thank-you, moderators.

 

[TheBellhop]

And yes, thanks mods!

 

[The DIS Moderator Team]

Please remember that personal attacks, by anyone, will not be tolerated. Please stay on topic or the thread will be closed.

Thank you.

 

[treesinger]

Originally posted by EsmeraldaX
Very well put, Snoopy.

I would not want to be around someone who could not enjoy pushing a little kid on a swing or playing with them for a short time.

Like someone else said, they were not asking this person to adopt them...they were asking him/her to keep an eye on them for a few minutes.

Someone that doesn't work well with children willundoubtedly be rather deficient in caring for children and may even be a bit scared about it. And heaven help me, if I were that person who didn't like kids, if something bad happened to any kids during the short time I'd be responsible for them.

Personally, as a parent, I won't let anyone who is even remotely uncomfortable around my kids to be responsible for them for even a second. I'd only have myself to blame for putting my kids in that type of situation.

 

[treesinger]

Originally posted by tonyswife
I can understand not liking bratty kids. I can understand not relating to kids and not enjoying spending time with them. They CAN be a bit overwhelming, especially very young kids. I can understand not wanting to have kids.

I do not understand the statement, "I don't like kids" and I don't understand why it's socially acceptable to make such a sweeping generalization. What if I said, "I don't like old people" or, "I don't like black people" or, "I don't like Jews" or something similar.

What is the OP had started out; "My husband doesn't like black people. He's a really nice guy, but he just doesn't want to spend time with black people. So, my sister was at our house with her friend who happens to be black. This person accidently stepped on his foot while walking by and my husband said, 'OUCH! Don't do that again" Ok, so he even if the person stepped on his foot again, it still wouldn't be an excuse to dislike ALL black people, just that one person.




Now, I know there are people that dislike groups in this way. But, if they cam onto theDIS and said it, they certainly wouldn't be getting all this, "it's ok to not like black people, it's a personal choice"

I think it's not unreasonable to ecpect adults to be polite to guests in their home and to expect them to be polite to the people when they are a guest in someone else's home. He does not have to like this kid, he does not have to like ANY kids, if he doesn't want to, but it's not OK to be rude to ANYone, even kids.

All that said, I DO find it obnoxious when parents expect everyone to fawn all over their kids.

JMHO

The Black comparison is not congruent. The issue here is maturity, character, and parental responsibility. Being Black or a Jew, or Inuit has nothing to do with any of these categories. Someone who doesn't like Blacks because they're Black is a bigot. Someone who doesn't like kids because they are kids doesn't like them because they are not comfortable in the presence of someone who hasn't lived some life and learned more lessons. It doesn't really reflect age so much as maturity. Though it is near impossible to separate the two, so it is understandable to link kids and immaturity.

Also, I think the fire rule is kinda harsh. You don't have to cater to the kid, but at least extend common courtesy. Not saying that you don't do it anyway. Just making a general point.

In the OP, the adult could have acted a little more mature and the mother should have disciplined the child. Children only really understand the here and now. Time isn't quite a mastered concept yet at that age. If they are not corrected when wrong, or praised when right, at the time of the event, then the lesson being taught is lost.

I love kids. Got three of my own. They're cute too! They get approval when they are right and puished when they are wrong. Whether in the privacy of our home or in the middle of the mall, they get their lessons taught right when it is effective. It doesn't shame me at all to discipline them in public. In fact, I take pride in the fact that I'm actually parenting my children, no matter where we are. And I'm glad my kids will grow up knowing that I won't treat them differently because of our locale or company. My children will know who I am with a certainty and not have to guess which Daddy I'm going to be.

 

[treesinger]

Originally posted by The DIS Moderator Team
Please remember that personal attacks, by anyone, will not be tolerated. Please stay on topic or the thread will be closed.

Thank you.

You don't hang around the Kerry/Bush threads much, do you?

 

[treesinger]

Originally posted by jeffemy
I "got" your point, I simply asked a different question that you didn't answer and missed my point. AT what age in your opinion does a child become an adult, therefore having a chance of being worthy in your eyes of being appreciated as a human being? I'm simply wondering if Bellhop had a chance?

I'd like a shot at that question. Again, I don't think it's the AGE. It's the MATURITY. Kids are typically less mature. Big duh there. But there are different types of immaturity. There's the "too much noise" immaturity. There's the "won't clean up" kids. There's the "I can't help but spit food" kids. Now, not cleaning up (like toys and such) and making noise are easier to dismiss as kids being kids and still needing to learn better. Spitting cookies is a bit more annoying. Even by accident.

My kids are guilty of immaturity daily. Some things matter more than others. Taking every toy out is a nuisance and it's not such a big deal. Ripping off a diaper is a really bad no-no and earns a swat on the butt.

I imagine that people who don't like kids (and some adults) don't like them because of the type of immature behavior they display, not just the existence of immaturity in general.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I understand what you're saying, treesinger, and I agree for the most part, but I have a different definition of maturity. I think that being immature means that you are not acting your age. I have 4 children--4, 10, 13, and 16. My two middle children are good examples. My 13yo tends to be immature. He's a good kid and doesn't get into trouble, but some of the comments that he says and things that he does seem a bit young to me. My 10yo, on the other hand seems very mature. He takes his school, chores, and baseball very seriously. He is a wonderful student, but not just because of his grades. He is attentive, contributes, and is respectful. However, he is a 10yo boy and acts like it!

Neither child acts like an adult. Same goes for their 16yo sister, even though she's almost a legal adult. And the 4yo...let's just say that he's been the true test of my mothering skills.

T&B

 

[airhead]

.....this horse is dead already.

 

[TheBellhop]

the horse...kidsrstinky? hehehe...

 

[goofygirl]

LOL! I've heard that before...bizarre indeed. Funny how GG never addresses the fact that she was involved with that. I wonder why that is?

I don't address it because what's past is past. And for the record, I do not hate sick children, its not their fault they are sick, and I still think GKTW is a worthy cause. Anyway, that was all back in my moderating days, which I will not discuss here. There's a heck of a lot of things that went on at that time I COULD discuss and expose, but never will, out of respect for Pete.

 

[snoopy]

Well, GG, I gotta say you are one whose logic I'll never understand. So sick kids are o.k., its only well kids who irritate you? And for the record, I don't think I am exposing anything or disrespecting Pete by asking about your affiliation with GKTW. I've always found it curious why you would take on such a responsibility, not because you aren't a parent (I know plenty of non-parents who work with children who are wonderful at what they do) but because you have always professed to have a deep dislike for children and having anything to do with them.

Having said that, thankfully, the people in my real life who are not parents are very sympathetic to the additional demands that parents have on their lives. I actually only have one friend who is childless by choice and intends to stay that way and though she doesn't quite "get" my passion for my kids, she's still awfully nice. Never have I encountered anyone who has even remotely suggested that they were superior in some way or smarter because they were childless. And I completely understand why parents and non-parents are annoyed by overindulgent parents and their misbehaved children. But people who are annoyed by the very existence of children, I'll never understand that line of thinking, sorry.

 

[goofygirl]

Well, GG, I gotta say you are one whose logic I'll never understand. So sick kids are o.k., its only well kids who irritate you?

Uh...NO...that's not what I said. I am through talking to you if you are going to twist around what I say and make wild assumptions.


The truth is you want to make me into the evil child-hating villian because I DARE to question why parents and kids seem to get away with so much. I DARE to suggest that birthing children is not a miracle, but a biological fact of life , I DARE to suggest that infertile people rise about their sorrows and do something positive- like adopt an older child. I DARE to question why people don't give more thought into procreating and wind up having unplanned babies instead of taking parenthood seriously. I DARE to question why that parenthood is put on such a high pedestal. I DARE question why childfree pet owners don't get the same respect. I DARE to question if people see that there is an overpopulation problem and that this world is not a good place for kids. I DARE to question why parents seem to base their whole identity on being a mom.

Oh...but you don't want to hear it, so you ( and a handful of others) deem me as the bad guy.

I bet your childfree friend is one of those people who never questions anything and keeps quiet. If she opened her mouth, you'd probably ditch her as a friend.

 

[snoopy]

I don't want to make you into an evil child-hating villian, GG. You seem to want to make us think that. I don't believe that you really are, I never have. I think you have obviously encountered some bad parents and some bratty children, and that you like to lump all parents into the same "breeder" pot, and consider all children "brats". I think its a shame, to have such a limited and narrow point of view.

As for my friends, nope, not a meek one in the bunch. I love and respect my friend who is childfree by choice. We grew up together, and our lives went in different directions. I respect her choice not to have a child, I certainly have never tried to convince someone otherwise, least of all a good friend. I respect the fact that she made the decision that in the end the commitment to having a child versus her writing career, the freedom to travel and time to herself was lopsided, so she opted not to have a child. Works for me. In turn, she respects the fact that my children are a huge part of my existence. The true definition of friends, but thanks for asking, GG.

 

[IceQueen777]

Originally posted by goofygirl
Uh...NO...that's not what I said. I am through talking to you if you are going to twist around what I say and make wild assumptions.


The truth is you want to make me into the evil child-hating villian because I DARE to question why parents and kids seem to get away with so much. I DARE to suggest that birthing children is not a miracle, but a biological fact of life , I DARE to suggest that infertile people rise about their sorrows and do something positive- like adopt an older child. I DARE to question why people don't give more thought into procreating and wind up having unplanned babies instead of taking parenthood seriously. I DARE to question why that parenthood is put on such a high pedestal. I DARE question why childfree pet owners don't get the same respect. I DARE to question if people see that there is an overpopulation problem and that this world is not a good place for kids. I DARE to question why parents seem to base their whole identity on being a mom.

Oh...but you don't want to hear it, so you ( and a handful of others) deem me as the bad guy.

There are many people I know who DARE (wow, what a rebel you are) to question the exact things you do. Heck, I have some of those same feelings. It is nothing new and you are not special just because you question those things.

YOU have made YOURSELF the bad guy because you don't just question these things. You have said hateful and derogatory things about parents and kids on many debates. It is so funny that there are other posters on the DIS who feel the same as you but no one thinks they are the bad guy...these other posters are well-liked. It is because of your hate of parents/kids that makes you a bad guy.

So quit your whining...you did this to yourself. Which is really funny because you always used to say "Bed. Made. Lie" ...so why don't you follow your own advice and accept the image you have made for yourself.

 

[snoopy]

Originally posted by IceQueen777
YOU have made YOURSELF the bad guy because you don't just question these things. You have said hateful and derogatory things about parents and kids on many debates. It is so funny that there are other posters on the DIS who feel the same as you but no one thinks they are the bad guy...these other posters are well-liked. It is because of your hate of parents/kids that makes you a bad guy.

This is the part she never addresses, icequeen. I don't know why I bother even asking her. I guess because I believe deep down that she really doesn't feel so hateful toward children and "breeders". Perhaps naive of me, but wishful thinking nonetheless.

 

[luvindisneyworld]

I dont want people to think I am a child hater because I am not.I want kids of my own oneday but it does not look hopeful,I have lost 3 so I am just very scared.I just dont care for kids that are not disciplined and are let rule the roost.I have a sister and nieces and nephews like that.I do Love kids very much,just some get on my last nerve.
So please dont assume that i Hate children,because really I want kids more than anything.

Misty

 

[goofygirl]

YOU have made YOURSELF the bad guy because you don't just question these things. You have said hateful and derogatory things about parents and kids on many debates. It is so funny that there are other posters on the DIS who feel the same as you but no one thinks they are the bad guy...these other posters are well-liked. It is because of your hate of parents/kids that makes you a bad guy.

Oh please, IceQueen/SliverLily/whatever name you'll have next, I've put up with a whole lot of abuse on here and you know that. (comments about my love of cats, my reproductive system, etc, etc) I have endured many hateful and derrogatory comments from various posters, and no, I did not bring that onto myself. The comments come out of their hatred of those who are childfree and proud to be such, they hate the childfree who are honest enough to dare say that they don't like kids , they hate the childfree who dare challenge and question anything to do with parenting. And by the way, I am not the only one who has put up with such abuse.