My DD9 Has a "Date"!?!

[NAB]

Our Catholic church dances start grade 5-8 . They have a cut off of 250 kids and we turn others away. There is one every other Friday.

My son went last year when he was in grade 5 . Last year he just hung out with his friends, this year he is dancing with girls. He told me slow dancing makes your back sore. So I told him don't slow dance then.

It is funny because if they dance with a girl that night they are going out.... We have already told him there will be no dating etc. They can dance that is it.

 

[pweyl36]

I have to say being the mother of a 7th grade DD that I agree with the pp's. Elementary aged kids having a sweetheart dance? Parent chaperoned or not that is way too young to encourage romantic contact. My DD just attended her first school sponsored ice cream social and she is 12/13 in 5 days. We dont allow her to "date" or receive phone calls from boys. No facebook or my space stuff or Im'ing and she doesnt have or need to have a cell phone. Kids grow up too fast and it alarms me to hear of a school at elementary level encouraging a sweetheart dance/ dating.

My kind of parenting if only all the parents would think the same.

 

[Vijoge]

I'm no prude by any means (you can ask anyone who knows me) but there is no way on earth my DGD 9 (or the 11 y/o either) is going to anything called a Sweetheart Dance elementary school!

 

[beattyfamily]

I have to say being the mother of a 7th grade DD that I agree with the pp's. Elementary aged kids having a sweetheart dance? Parent chaperoned or not that is way too young to encourage romantic contact. My DD just attended her first school sponsored ice cream social and she is 12/13 in 5 days. We dont allow her to "date" or receive phone calls from boys. No facebook or my space stuff or Im'ing and she doesnt have or need to have a cell phone. Kids grow up too fast and it alarms me to hear of a school at elementary level encouraging a sweetheart dance/ dating.

Don't know how I missed this but I agree with you and I also have a 12 year old DD and we don't allow all the same things as you except we did get her a cell phone. No Iming, no texting, no dating, no boy calls, no facebook and no myspace.

 

[goofy4tink]

Here's the problem. Sure, it's most likely innocent. But, kids this age already know the score. It's a surefire way to up the competition and consequent hurt feelings. No way should kids in elementary school be having dances. What's the point? Dances, just by nature, are intended to be girl/boy events. Sure, some girls go and dance with their girl friends. But, I gotta tell you...as okay as that is, the girls that are there stag, dancing with their friends, are still wishing that they had a cute boy to dance with. And yes, that is going to happen at 9. And that, in my opinion, is way too young to be worrying about who is dancing with who.
Heck, our kids go to an organized ballroom dance class. They have to wear nice clothes, boys ask the girls to dance...there are chaperones. They learn the regular ballroom dances. They learn what to do, and what not to do, at a dance. It's hysterical to see all the parents, waiting outside, at the end of each class, trying to look nonchalant as they try to peek in the windows of the cafeteria to see where their child is and who he/she is dancing with.
It's not until the beginning of 7th grade that the school has sanctioned dances. And then, it's one or two a year. In 8th grade, they have one every other month or so, with a dressed down semi-formal at the end of the year, just for 8th graders.

I really think there is too much of a push to get our kids grown up faster. They are young for such a short time. It sure would be nice if they got to stay little kids, rather than little adults, for longer. But, that's me. My dd, 15, still sleeps with her teddy bear!

 

[Iott Family]

My dd, 15, still sleeps with her teddy bear!

LOL! That is so cute. Our girl scouts, cadette level, ages 12 and 13 still pack their loveys for our troop camping trips!

 

[Iott Family]

OP here. We have been to the school dance every year and each year is a different "theme". Disco, sock hop...this year is a Sweetheart theme, because it falls right before Valentine's Day. The Boy and Girl Scouts sponsor it and pick the theme. It is very cute and innocent.

As far as not allowing her to date or keeping her home...I had no idea this boy was going to call our house, let alone ask her to the dance. This is a first and we were all caught off guard. At nine I didn't think I needed to lay down any rules about dating and boys yet! I do think it is pretty innocent and her dad and I will be there. It's a "family dance".

I guess it is time to make some rules and make sure that the lines of communication are open.

I'm sooooo not ready for this!

Our service unit hosts a father daughter/mother son dance with a different theme every year. That is cute and innocent.

 

[dogluva]

My DD9 (4th grade) just received a phonecall from Mr. Hunky Football Player 5th Grade Dude With Highlights asking her to go to the "Sweetheart Dance" at their school next Friday night. I am working the refreshment table with the other girl scout moms and her dad is on hall monitor duty. She told him that she has a soccer game that night, but she'll meet him at the dance.

9 years old? 4th grade? Seriously???

I am so not ready for this.

Any advise or words of wisdom for me or her?

My fourth grade son thinks girls are gross and I am very happy about this. My 14 and 16 year olds don't even date yet.

I would never let my 9 year old meet a boy at the dance. They should be hanging out with their little girlfriends playing with dolls.

 

[paintnolish]

Hmm...I am not conservative in the least bit, but my immediate thought was that 4th and 5th grade is way to young to have a "sweetheart" dance. If it was a sockhop or something, maybe, but by titling it "sweetheart" it kind of forces the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing on them.

 

[EMom]

ACK! No way! Every time a boy classmate's mother tells me her son has a crush on DD9, I cringe......Because I know what is just around the corner. I just hope it's not next year, (4th grade) as in your case. These kids are playing at "going together/dating" way too young. We don't have to play along.

However, I beg to differ regarding kindergarten graduation. In Texas, that is a time honored tradition. At my school, we had a ceremony in full cap and gown dating back to the 1940s. Tiny little satin caps and gowns and we took it VERY seriously. It is one of my fondest childhood memories. When DD graduated from kindergarten, her team leader teacher went berserk (IMHO) and decided we had to have a "theme" and dress the children accordingly. A lot of the parents weren't happy because we wanted our traditional caps and gowns. We had them and our parents had them. No fancy theme needed. At least the kids were able to have their photo taken in cap and gown......Small consolation, though.

 

[MichelleVW]

Let her go. You and the 'hunky 5th graders' Dad will be there to watch them. I had all kinds of little 'dates' when I was her age and I turned out just fine.

Sounds like it would be cute and fun.

I agree.

 

[chisnpeke]

I didn't go to my first school dance until 7th grade. It was just a dance right after school during the high school's homecoming week.

5th grade is way too young to go to a dance called "Sweetheart Dance"

I was playing with dolls at that age, not interested in boys.

 

[shmoogrrrl]

My DD9 (4th grade) just received a phonecall from Mr. Hunky Football Player 5th Grade Dude With Highlights asking her to go to the "Sweetheart Dance" at their school next Friday night. I am working the refreshment table with the other girl scout moms and her dad is on hall monitor duty. She told him that she has a soccer game that night, but she'll meet him at the dance.

9 years old? 4th grade? Seriously???

I am so not ready for this.

Any advise or words of wisdom for me or her?

My advice? Get a gun. My Dad always sat in our living room cleaning a gun when I'd go out on a date with someone new. Just a small reminder that the date better be good to his little girl.

I think it is kind of cute, as long as it is just like a dance and that sort of thing. I mean how much 'dating' can you really do at their age?

 

[Tiffer]

OP here. We have been to the school dance every year and each year is a different "theme". Disco, sock hop...this year is a Sweetheart theme, because it falls right before Valentine's Day. The Boy and Girl Scouts sponsor it and pick the theme. It is very cute and innocent.

As far as not allowing her to date or keeping her home...I had no idea this boy was going to call our house, let alone ask her to the dance. This is a first and we were all caught off guard. At nine I didn't think I needed to lay down any rules about dating and boys yet! I do think it is pretty innocent and her dad and I will be there. It's a "family dance".

I guess it is time to make some rules and make sure that the lines of communication are open.

I'm sooooo not ready for this!

How did this "hunky" boy get your #?

My DD would NEVER be allowed to go to the dance with a boy at age 9. Just way too young.

Best to you and your family, whatever decision you may reach.

 

[preb]

How did this "hunky" boy get your #?

OP again...

The school directory. Everyone is listed.

And, again, I just want to clarify...This is a school sponsored event, hosted by the boy and girl scouts as a "family dance". The whole family attends and dances...even pre schoolers. I think that this little 5th grade Romeo is the only one trying to turn it into a "date night".

 

[Vijoge]

OP again...


And, again, I just want to clarify...This is a school sponsored event, hosted by the boy and girl scouts as a "family dance". The whole family attends and dances...even pre schoolers.

I can't speak for anyone else. . I wouldn't have a problem with my girls going to a dance at school. They're just not going to a "Sweatheart Dance" with the resident fifth grade hunk (or any other male variety of the same).

 

[Zip-A-Dee-Lady]

I didn't get asked out on a date til my senior year of highschool.

 

[lauraDar]

When my DD came to me in 4th grade and asked if she could have a boyfriend, and after I picked my teeth up off the floor, I responded that she could call "him" boyfriend or Barney the Purple Dinosaur just as long as no bodyparts - hands, lips or anything else - touched! Now, as she is a 7th grader, I still have the same requirement although I would rather hear her call him "my friend who is a boy" by not overreacting and forbiding her from "going out" and knowing they are always supervised, I sure get alot more information and can put the brakes on anything I deem inappropriate. For example, a girl friend of hers asked DD and her "boyfriend" to go to the movies with this friend and a "boyfriend" and the friend's mother, even though I know the mother very well and know they would be supervised it sounded a bit too much like a double date to me, so I said no.

 

[RitaZ.]

I can't speak for anyone else. . I wouldn't have a problem with my girls going to a dance at school. They're just not going to a "Sweatheart Dance" with the resident fifth grade hunk (or any other male variety of the same).

I agree with you.

I don't like the idea of "Mr. Romeo" calling the shots. "Me Tarzan, you Jane. We go on date". Nah, don't think so!

My opinion is that the earlier we allow children to engage or mimic teenage or adult behavior, the more difficult it will be to say no to other things as they grow up. I have an 11 yr. old DD and I wouldn't allow such a "date". There will be plenty of time for dating and exclusivity later on.

OP, JMHO.

 

[Longsx3]

Not in my house and my DD is 12 and in 7th grade....we are a year or so away from going to the movies as friends and 2+ away from a Dance with a boy.