My DD9 Has a "Date"!?!

[preb]

My DD9 (4th grade) just received a phonecall from Mr. Hunky Football Player 5th Grade Dude With Highlights asking her to go to the "Sweetheart Dance" at their school next Friday night. I am working the refreshment table with the other girl scout moms and her dad is on hall monitor duty. She told him that she has a soccer game that night, but she'll meet him at the dance.

9 years old? 4th grade? Seriously???

I am so not ready for this.

Any advise or words of wisdom for me or her?

 

[Buckalew11]

A 4th and 5th grade dance? Too young. I think I'd decline and not set a precedence. JMHO, though.

 

[ksjayhawks]

Why is an elementary school having a "sweetheart dance" in the first place??? That is way, way too young to start.

 

[SydneyBristow]

A 4th and 5th grade dance? Too young. I think I'd decline and not set a precedence. JMHO, though.

I agree. My advice is keep her home, I think they're way too young for a dance. What's the point of having one at that age?

 

[Dizzy4Disney90210]

A sweetheart dance at that age? Your school is crazy!

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

My boys have been going to school dances since 2nd grade. They are fun. My older son has had a single girl that he has danced with at each, but they didn't go together (different one each year). My younger son just goes and has fun with his friends (girls are still icky).

 

[littleteapot]

Sorry, this makes me sad.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

A sweetheart dance at that age? Your school is crazy!

The ones that my boys attended were not "Sweetheart" dances. They were dances/fund raisers...

 

[tessiemez]

My DD9 (4th grade) just received a phonecall from Mr. Hunky Football Player 5th Grade Dude With Highlights asking her to go to the "Sweetheart Dance" at their school next Friday night. I am working the refreshment table with the other girl scout moms and her dad is on hall monitor duty. She told him that she has a soccer game that night, but she'll meet him at the dance.

9 years old? 4th grade? Seriously???

I am so not ready for this.

Any advise or words of wisdom for me or her?

I'm due with my first child--a girl--in a month ... and you have officially terrified me! I'm not liking the idea that, in less than a decade, my as-of-yet unborm child could be asked on a "date". What was I THINKING, getting pregnant?!

I don't know what your school dance will be like. We had a school dance when I was in fifth grade ... it was a very boys-on-one-side, girls-on-the-other kind of thing. I helped at an elementary school dance for a teacher friend a year ago, though, and those kids were acting frighteningly "adult".

My advice? Tell her that boys are yucky!

 

[Ohiodislover]

My girls elementary school also has dances Don't see where it such an issue.

The dance is VERY cute. The kids love it. They are young enough to be embarrassed if they are inappropriate, so they are very polite, and adorable.

To the OP--I understand. My youngest just turned 10--It's exciting that she is growing up, but Yikes!

 

[Iott Family]

I have to say being the mother of a 7th grade DD that I agree with the pp's. Elementary aged kids having a sweetheart dance? Parent chaperoned or not that is way too young to encourage romantic contact. My DD just attended her first school sponsored ice cream social and she is 12/13 in 5 days. We dont allow her to "date" or receive phone calls from boys. No facebook or my space stuff or Im'ing and she doesnt have or need to have a cell phone. Kids grow up too fast and it alarms me to hear of a school at elementary level encouraging a sweetheart dance/ dating.

 

[Iott Family]

I'm due with my first child--a girl--in a month ... and you have officially terrified me! I'm not liking the idea that, in less than a decade, my as-of-yet unborm child could be asked on a "date". What was I THINKING, getting pregnant?!

I don't know what your school dance will be like. We had a school dance when I was in fifth grade ... it was a very boys-on-one-side, girls-on-the-other kind of thing. I helped at an elementary school dance for a teacher friend a year ago, though, and those kids were acting frighteningly "adult".

My advice? Tell her that boys are yucky!

And they have cootie bugs!

 

[claudia]

WAAAAAYYYYYY too young. No way. Time to call Mr. Hunky Football Player 5th Grade Dude With Highlights and cancel.

 

[Scurvy]

Any advise or words of wisdom for me or her?

My words of wisdom: Just say "No". Fourth grade is way too young for dates!

 

[Master Mason]

Have to agree, that age is way too young. I still vividly remember my dad telling my sister when she was 16 she could come talk to him about going out on a date, not that she could go, just that that was when he would be willing to talk to her about it.

*says another little prayer that I had boys*

 

[englishteacha]

Yipes! My nephew's elementary school had a 50s dance for grades 3-6, but it was totally unromantic. I can't imagine a sweetheart dance at that age. I'm not against dances at all, as I grew up dancing my heart out at weddings and family celebrations. However, I think theming it with a Valentine or Sweetheart theme is too much for children.

 

[Pixie Dust for Me!]

Interesting. A good friend of mine is a child psychologist and we were discussing something sorta similar (someone he knows...a child...is 12 and pregnant ). Now, I'm not saying that going to a dance is like getting pregnant! What I mean is that children are getting involved with the opposite sex at earlier and earlier ages. In fact, what we were talking about how 7th and 8th grade is the "new" freshman/sophmore days of high school...and how children in 4th and 5th grade are "pairing off" like they used to do in late 6th or 7th grade.

When I was in school, 4th and 5th grade girls had "crushes" on boys...but dating them...NO WAY...not even to a school sponsored event. Heck, even today, we don't do the cotillion program until 6th and 7th grade!

Sorry, but I'm with the rest of the PPs....my son will NOT attend a school dance until middle school! But then again, I'm the rebel mom who said "no thank you" to a kindergarten "graduation" (I'm sorry, you graduate from 8th grade if you go to a private or parochial school....and then you graduate from high school, college and grad school...but one does NOT graduate from Kindergarten)!

Sorry OP, I'd have to say NO to the dance too and question what on earth my child's school was thinking!

K

 

[BabyPiglet]

Let her go. You and the 'hunky 5th graders' Dad will be there to watch them. I had all kinds of little 'dates' when I was her age and I turned out just fine.

Sounds like it would be cute and fun.

 

[preb]

My girls elementary school also has dances Don't see where it such an issue.

The dance is VERY cute. The kids love it. They are young enough to be embarrassed if they are inappropriate, so they are very polite, and adorable.

To the OP--I understand. My youngest just turned 10--It's exciting that she is growing up, but Yikes!

OP here. We have been to the school dance every year and each year is a different "theme". Disco, sock hop...this year is a Sweetheart theme, because it falls right before Valentine's Day. The Boy and Girl Scouts sponsor it and pick the theme. It is very cute and innocent.

As far as not allowing her to date or keeping her home...I had no idea this boy was going to call our house, let alone ask her to the dance. This is a first and we were all caught off guard. At nine I didn't think I needed to lay down any rules about dating and boys yet! I do think it is pretty innocent and her dad and I will be there. It's a "family dance".

I guess it is time to make some rules and make sure that the lines of communication are open.

I'm sooooo not ready for this!

 

[beattyfamily]

Way too young to be invited by a boy to a dance. I would make my DD say no and explain to her clearly the reasons why.

I have two girls ages 9 and 12.

The school has general dances for the 5th and 6th graders. It has no theme and it's very laid back and fun with a DJ, a big screen TV and games and line dancing lessons etc.... If the school had a dance called Sweetheart or Valentine's dance, I would not let my girls go and I would put in a complaint. There should be no romantic themes at that age, IMHO.