My dd2 was called a BRAT today @Walmart:(

[NikitaZee]

If you don't realize that screeching is inappropriate for somewhere like Walmart, then it's understandable that your child wouldn't understand it.

I think you summed it up very well. While I also believe that the older woman was out of line, I too would have been extremely frustrated listening to that.

And I'm also not surprised that it happened at a Walmart!

 

[3jsmommy]

Umm.....well......I enjoy being around people, but I don't enjoy being around screaming kids. In fact, I don't think I know anyone who actually enjoys being around screaming kids.

Isn't that why we try to get them to stop screaming?

***POCK!!***

This wasn't in a place of worship, or a restaurant or a closed in space.
That lady had a choice to walk away, she choose to be rude & felt the need to tell the op how to do her job. It wasn't necessary!
I have never been in a Walmart (and being a diser at this point I'm a little afriad of the place!) but I think it's safe to assume it's a pretty large store. She can play the parent police in Walmart for the rest of her life if she chooses. I just don't believe that it's going to make her happier.

 

[KAMKIM]

Honestly I just don't "get" people who feel the need to tell parents how to do their job. If you saw a nurse or social worker with a disabled person in the store would you tell them how to control their patients? Toddlers are not adults & a little screechiness is not them being out of control.
Unless you are in some sort of danger or your personal space is being intruded upon myob.
Doesn't anyone just enjoy being around people anymore?
I wish everyone could just take life a little less seriously & find joy in others. I know that sounds very cumbaya (sp?) But seriously why couldn't the lady just smile & keep walking? If someone is seriously that sensitive to noise they need to invest in some ear plugs.

 

[sbell111]

... Doesn't anyone just enjoy being around people anymore?
I wish everyone could just take life a little less seriously & find joy in others. ...

I don't believe that I have ever found joy in the screeching of someone else's child. Clearly, I am deficient.

 

[JerseyJanice]

I've read only the OP and to her, I say that if you've raised 5 children and this is the very first time that someone has commented negatively to you about the behavior of one of your kids, you must be a fantastic mom.

 

[3jsmommy]

I don't believe that I have ever found joy in the screeching of someone else's child. Clearly, I am deficient.

I wouldn't say your deficient, but I think to recognize that a two year old sometimes "act's their age" and respond in a positive manner would be a good thing.

 

[JanaNs]

Pretty soon the DIS is going to have a new board called The Perfect Parents of Perfect Children Board where you don't go looking for advise because of course you don't need it, but instead just pat each other on the back all day for the great job you're doing and "Gosh golly gee" to your hearts content. Anyone who has ever had a 2 year old who has had a melt down will not frequent that board I'm sure.

 

[wvjules]

Pretty soon the DIS is going to have a new board called The Perfect Parents of Perfect Children Board where you don't go looking for advise because of course you don't need it, but instead just pat each other on the back all day for the great job you're doing and "Gosh golly gee" to your hearts content. Anyone who has ever had a 2 year old who has had a melt down will not frequent that board I'm sure.

Has anyone on this thread said they were a perfect parent? If so, then I missed it.

Common sense should tell ANYONE that a screeching child would be annoying and disruptive to other shoppers. Remove the child from the situation, control the child or get the hell out of the store so other can shop in peace.

 

[Tikitoi]

:And I'm also not surprised that it happened at a Walmart!

I'm sure this could happen ANYWHERE.

 

[Magic Mom]

Has anyone on this thread said they were a perfect parent? If so, then I missed it.

Common sense should tell ANYONE that a screeching child would be annoying and disruptive to other shoppers. Remove the child from the situation, control the child or get the hell out of the store so other can shop in peace.

Exactly. It doesn't take a perfect parent to be considerate of others.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Pretty soon the DIS is going to have a new board called The Perfect Parents of Perfect Children Board where you don't go looking for advise because of course you don't need it, but instead just pat each other on the back all day for the great job you're doing and "Gosh golly gee" to your hearts content. Anyone who has ever had a 2 year old who has had a melt down will not frequent that board I'm sure.

I bet they could call that the Special Snowflake Board.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Exactly. It doesn't take a perfect parent to be considerate of others.

Thank you. How on earth will a child ever learn how to behave if the parents refuse to parent?

 

[EMom]

Plenty of people have had a 2 y.o. who has had a meltdown in a public place, but the proper response is NOT to subject an entire store to said meltdown. The OP's first mistake was to take an overtired, cranky toddler to Walmart. It was a recipe for disaster. Maybe she can ignore the sound of her precious darling screeching just to hear the sound of her own voice, but I assure you, others cannot. And THOSE shoppers are every bit in need of groceries, etc. as the OP is. Maybe it's the only day the cranky old lady can go shopping and the sound of a screeeeeeeeeeeeching child is like an icepick in her ears, over and over and over. Why should she have to flee from a child who is clearly in need of being removed from the store?

No, the old lady should not have gone off on a toddler, but I can see her ranting on the mother for not taking the kid out of the store. I don't expect Walmart to be a haven of peace, but some people think their children ought to be embraced as angels by everyone and forgiven for even the most obnoxious behavior. A 2 y.o. pitching a fit of some sort when they are overtired is entirely predictable and THAT is why you don't haul them to Walmart on a shopping trip. And if you do, you need to be prepared to haul them OUT of Walmart if they start throwing a wall-eyed fit, screeching just to hear the sound of their own ear-piercing voice, screaming, etc. Now, I don't think I've ever been to Walmart without running across a whining or crying kid. Fair enough. But there comes a time when a line is crossed and the kid needs to be removed because they are seriously disturbing the other patrons. I sense Little Miss Screecher was doing just this.

The OP let her kid screech on and on until she worked the old lady's one last nerve and when the old lady finally lost her temper, the OP was offended. Well, the old lady was offended by the screeching and the fact that the OP cearly did not care that her kid was (beyond) bothering the other shoppers. Maybe the old lady felt the subtle approach wouldn't be too effective.

My child wasn't perfect, but I never once let her pull a stunt like this in a store. If she was overtired, we just didn't go to the store. Partly, because I felt it wasn't fair for others to be subjected to her in that mood, but mostly because I felt it wasn't good for her to be taken out when she was overtired. I had no relatives or friends to relieve me, so she went where I went. I did 100% of the child care, with no sitters. If she had worked her way up to screeching, I'd have left in a heartbeat. Frankly, I couldn't have stood that noise, let alone made the entire store endure it. I may love her, but the other shoppers don't. They don't find screeching endearing. Really.

If the old lady was out of line, the OP pushed her into it by creating a bad situation. Screeching kids do not belong in a store of any kind.

 

[3jsmommy]

If the old lady was out of line, the OP pushed her into it by creating a bad situation. [/QUOTE]


I disagree, the old lady was telling the OP to control her child when she could hardly control herself. You don't teach manners by being rude...she was out of line because she choose to be.

 

[monkey68]

This reminds me of a story my mom likes to tell all the time to prove what a terrible child I was. When I was around 2ish, my mom took me to a department store, and into the fitting room so she could try on some bras. Apparently, I didn't want to be there, because I started having a melt down, and nothing would stop me. So my mom quickly put her clothes back on and high tailed it out of the store. Or tried to anyway. In her haste, she forgot that she was wearing one of the bras that she was trying on and when she went through the detector, it went off. My mother apparently got so embarrassed, I have a feeling she'll be telling this story about how terrible I was at my wedding as payback.

 

[Christine]

Basically, this is just another part of the ME generation of parents (of which I am a part of).

I am old enough to remember going out and it being an absolute SIN to act up in a public place. I remember sitting in my family doctor's office and reading the sign he had posted that said "Children Should Be Seen and Not Heard...". As an 8 year old, I thought that was the meanest saying! That was the thought process in the late 60s and early 70s. Honestly, I cannot remember stores being so overrun with whining children as they have been recently.

I have commented on several other DIS threads in the past with regard to whining children in their obnoxious parents. There are specific stores where this goes on all the time, and Wal-Mart is one of them. I believe in the majority of cases, the parents choose to be there, with their tired, cranky children, because MY GOD it is their right to be wherever they want and do whatever they want and to heck with everyone around them. I have the worst experiences at Wegman's grocery store on Sunday morning. It is FULL of tired, cranky children. The best part is, BOTH parents are out shopping with the three whining children because it is FUN for them and they consider it an outing. Wegmans, after all, is a "destination." Little Johnny and Susie just love the fire engine shopping cart. And they proceed to whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine, and scREEEEEEEEEEch, all through the store. Why couldn't one of them stay home with the bored kids? Because probably one of them is afraid to be alone with their own kids. Who knows.

At any rate, in most instances, the prolonged whining can be attributed to a parent who doesn't want to give up his/her outings or change their schedule because the kid is tired. We all can tell the difference between the parent that is browsing through the aisles distractedly trying to shush the whining and the other parent who is standing in line waiting at the pharmacy for medication with a sick/crying kid.

As for the old lady, I would have been secretly cheering her but I would never confront anyone like that. Without hearing her tone, I can't judge whether she was rude or not.

 

[jiminyC_fan]

EMom, well put! I had twins and was a stay at home mom. I too was there for the kids 100% of the day. I didn't have friends or family to help so I waited until my husband came home from work to shop. One of the girls pulled a hissy fit in the middle of the mall and I grabbed her little hand and quickly walked out of the mall while my husband and other daughter followed us. We went straight home. That was the one and only time that she or her sister acted up. She learned that those kind of actions result in a consequence. People need to realize that not all of us adore their acting up screeching kids and the proper thing is to remove the child. We all have a breaking point and that older woman had hit hers. True, she probably should have kept her mouth shut but how would the OP realize that her child was indeed bothering other people? Hopefully, the OP has learned from this.

Edited to say that this can happen anywhere. Just not Walmart. Parks, churches, WDW, dept stores you name it.

 

[inkedupmomma]

SMH and LOL.. OP it MUST be your fault that, that woman was a jerk...

I honestly do not get where some of the viciousness comes from some you Disers,makes me really sad

 

[Ember]

No flames from me. This is exactly what I do with my kids. From an early age, if my kids started acting up, squalling, or falling apart I just packed it in and left. Didn't matter if it was a store, a restaurant, church, park or Chuck E. Cheese. You act up and you're going home, to your room, with no music and no toys. No negotiations. No pleading or threatening. You get one warning. The second infractions results in your removal and punishment. Period. My two older children didn't have any problem understanding the rules and I probably had to remove each of them twice in their lives. My kids have always been easy to take places because we expect them to be well-behaved or we remove them.

Even my mentally handicapped 14yo rarely has tantrums. We know that he cannot sit still and be quiet during concerts, church services, weddings, etc. He has the cognitive skills of a baby. Therefore we hear a lot of squealing, hooting, clapping and other disruptive noises. If we are unable to leave him at home, we take him with us. The very *second* he starts, one of us gets up and removes him from the setting, sometimes staying outside the entire time. Fun? not so much. But I wouldn't even think of subjecting other people to my child's carrying on, I don't care how "special" he is. He doesn't understand manners in formal places. It's my job to take care of it for him.

Wow. Seriously, wow. I have rarely heard such comments, let alone from a parent dealing with a handicapped child. I am in awe of you. Very, very few parents could boast of doing what you do or of being so considerate of others.

I once wasted $300 on tickets to a Broadway show when the handicapped child directly behind me tantrumed through the whole thing, start to finish. I didn't have enough guts to say anything and neither did anyone else, apparently. (I did ask to be moved at intermission, but it was a sold out show.) What I wouldn't have given to have someone like you there.

THANK YOU for what you do and the stance you've taken. Most people will probably never know what you do, because it never impacts them.

 

[jodifla]

Basically, this is just another part of the ME generation of parents (of which I am a part of).

I am old enough to remember going out and it being an absolute SIN to act up in a public place. I remember sitting in my family doctor's office and reading the sign he had posted that said "Children Should Be Seen and Not Heard...". As an 8 year old, I thought that was the meanest saying! That was the thought process in the late 60s and early 70s. Honestly, I cannot remember stores being so overrun with whining children as they have been recently.

I have commented on several other DIS threads in the past with regard to whining children in their obnoxious parents. There are specific stores where this goes on all the time, and Wal-Mart is one of them. I believe in the majority of cases, the parents choose to be there, with their tired, cranky children, because MY GOD it is their right to be wherever they want and do whatever they want and to heck with everyone around them. I have the worst experiences at Wegman's grocery store on Sunday morning. It is FULL of tired, cranky children. The best part is, BOTH parents are out shopping with the three whining children because it is FUN for them and they consider it an outing. Wegmans, after all, is a "destination." Little Johnny and Susie just love the fire engine shopping cart. And they proceed to whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine, and scREEEEEEEEEEch, all through the store. Why couldn't one of them stay home with the bored kids? Because probably one of them is afraid to be alone with their own kids. Who knows.

At any rate, in most instances, the prolonged whining can be attributed to a parent who doesn't want to give up his/her outings or change their schedule because the kid is tired. We all can tell the difference between the parent that is browsing through the aisles distractedly trying to shush the whining and the other parent who is standing in line waiting at the pharmacy for medication with a sick/crying kid.

As for the old lady, I would have been secretly cheering her but I would never confront anyone like that. Without hearing her tone, I can't judge whether she was rude or not.

Wow, what vitriol!

I can't comprehend that anyone is taking the rude woman's side....including the cursing even. It's OK in your book that she called her a b----?

Your post sounds about as much as the "me" generation as the other side does. There's no inherent right for you to shop is a perfectly quiet store, either.

I NEVER go to Walmart, but I can't recall seeing a child that really bothered me at a store in recent memory. Of course, I don't go around looking for children -- or their parents -- to hate on, either.