My DD19 mths won't sleep-Advice?

[dismom9761]

First let me say she is my fourth and I am still lost .They are all so different.She is much more stubborn than all the others put together.Until a month ago she was sleeping 10 hrs at night and 2 hours for a nap.About a month ago she started waking up in the middle of the night.She would cry until I stood over her and patted her or put her in bed with us.I don't mind children getting into bed with us so that was fine.She still went to sleep on her own.Now it is much worse.For the last two weeks she has screamed for hours every night because she wants to go in the living room.Everyone is exhausted and she is in a horrible mood until nap time.Well the last two days she has gone down to about a 30 min nap.She then falls asleep in the car at 5:00 and is not tired at bedtime.Any advice?

 

[tmasingo]

Ugh. I can feel your pain. Is she still in a crib? Maybe it's time for a toddler bed? DS is 2 1/2 and right after he turned 2 he decided to put up a fight EVERY night at bedtime. He was in the crib still (he's tiny and I wanted to keep him in as long as I could), so I took off one side and converted it to the toddler bed thinking maybe that would work. Nope. I called the pediatrician and he said to definitely leave the bed as is, (I'd questioned if I should go back to the crib) and that hard as it is, to just let him cry and he'd probably get over it in a night or so. Well, the first night was 2 hours of screaming, hitting the door and crying 'mommy, where are you?'. It was just awful. BUT, the doctor was right, and even though it took a bit longer than a night or so (I'd say about a week), he eventually would go in and only cry for a few seconds (pretty much just in protest) and then would fall asleep. Of course, he would drag all of his toys and animals and such to the door and sleep by it, but at least he was sleeping!) To this day, almost 6 months and a new apartment later, he still refuses to sleep in the bed (he now has a regular twin bed with Wiggles sheets, a siderail and everything!) and every night after stories, takes his blankie and sleeps on the floor by the door.

I am ok with it since he's at least sleeping. It sounds as if your DD has done the crying thing, though, and won't wear herself out? That's hard. I didn't want to bring DS in my bed, as I am a single mom and didn't want him to get in the habit of sleeping with me every night. My pediatrician recommended setting up a sleeping bag or something next to my bed, so if he wouldn't stay in his room because he wanted to be near me, he could sleep there and be closer but not IN the bed. That didn't work, and you're ok with her in the bed anyway.

I guess I'm not really much help. I don't have much advice, except are you going out at 5pm for a reason or to get her to fall asleep? I'd definitely try to cut out that nap, if possible, so that she's not so rested by bedtime. What about changing her bedtime? What time does she go to sleep? Maybe it needs to be earlier/later? What about laying with her for a bit when you put her to bed? Does she fall asleep quickly or would you be there forever? That also creates another bad habit of them wanting you to do it all the time, so that's not the greatest. I do it occasionally if DS is agitated or sick, and even if he doesn't fall asleep, sometimes it just relaxes him enough to be ok when I leave the room. Has anything changed in her routine that could be causing it?

Good luck with it! DS still gives me a hard time occasionally and it's definitely trying on the nerves and patience!

 

[KeepSwimming]

I agree....that just stinks. I remember a few bouts with this and it is EXHAUSTING for everybody.

I agree with other poster....don't let her have that 5 o'clock nap. She'll probably be cranky in the evening time, but it will be worth it that night. Eventually she'll get back into a routine. I would think about allowing her shorter nap periods in the day until she is sleeping through the night.

Also, do you have a bedtime routine? Mine get a warm bath, get into PJ's, get (2 short or 1 long) bedtime story and then it's time to go to sleep. This really works well and (I think anyway) takes a lot of anxiety off "bedtime" because they are so stuck in the routine thay don't flip out when it happens.

Good luck OP -let us know what happens.

 

[dismom9761]

I don't have a choice about being in the car ay 5:00.The older three have an activity almost every evening.She does go to bed pretty good on her own, it is in the middle of the night that she wakes up and screams.I am really glad that she goes to sleep on her own-that is the only time that my DH and I have to catch up.

 

[justhat]

My daughter is 20 months old and has had similar problems since she was about 5 months old though. She'd go to sleep okay, just not stay asleep. Right now she is like Tara's son and sleeps on the floor, but I dont' care either cause she sleeps all night. We went to the toddler bed at 14 months and she stayed in it just fine till she was about 17 or 18 months. But the problem was that she'd wake up during the night and I've have to go pat her back to sleep too. I wouldn't care if she came into my bed, but she cannot sleep with anyone else-she kicks, punches, etc. and while I could live with that, she can't and she cries, screams, and pushes anything in her way. We took her to a sleep clinic at 16 months and they said just keep walking her back to her bed, don't say anything, and she'll stop. Well after almost 2 months of that I gave up and she basically came in my bed and my husband moved to the couch (he cant' deal with the kicking and she can't deal with how much he moves). Then she started preschool in September and so I didn't want to make any changes so I waited about a month. Then I decided that she could sleep where she wanted to, but not in my bed. So she took her blankie and stuffed alligator and slept on the floor next to my bed. Everynight since then I'll read her a story in her bed, laying down with her, then when I'm down she climbs out of her bed with her items (which are now the blankie, stuffed alligator and a stuffed Buzz), makes her way over to the floor next to my bed and goes to sleep. She can climb in my bed and she knows that, but she chooses to stay on the floor. When the alarm goes off at 6am she climbs into my bed and we watch the Wiggles together before we get up to get ready for school. Right now she seems happy with this arrangement, though I'm hoping that she'll realize her bed is more comfortable than the floor and she'll start sleeping in there. We just set up a blanket on the floor for her though since she hasn't come to that conclusion yet and we felt bad watching her sleep on the rough carpet.

Oh, incidentally, the preschool she goes to is a Montessori school and I was talking with her teacher about her sleep habits and how she sleeps on the floor, not her bed and her teacher said that one of the Montessori theories is putting kids in a bed on the floor basically from birth. She said they use a regular mattress on the floor instead of a crib and once the kids become mobile they're often found sleeping next to the toy box, by the door, in the closet, etc. Granted, she doesn't have any kids yet, so I don't really know anyone who has practiced this from birth to know how it goes, but I thought it was interesting that people actually advocate what my daughter does, when I thought it was sorta a bad thing.

 

[dismom9761]

We never knew where we would find my oldest son when he was a toddler.He was never asleep in his bed.It was usually between his dresser and toy box.I am thinking of taking her out of her crib.I don't know if it will help but at this point I have to try SOMETHING.My DS8 could barely keep his eyes open at school.He can't sleep when she is screaming.

 

[tmasingo]

My daughter is 20 months old and has had similar problems since she was about 5 months old though. She'd go to sleep okay, just not stay asleep. Right now she is like Tara's son and sleeps on the floor, but I dont' care either cause she sleeps all night. We went to the toddler bed at 14 months and she stayed in it just fine till she was about 17 or 18 months. But the problem was that she'd wake up during the night and I've have to go pat her back to sleep too. I wouldn't care if she came into my bed, but she cannot sleep with anyone else-she kicks, punches, etc. and while I could live with that, she can't and she cries, screams, and pushes anything in her way. We took her to a sleep clinic at 16 months and they said just keep walking her back to her bed, don't say anything, and she'll stop. Well after almost 2 months of that I gave up and she basically came in my bed and my husband moved to the couch (he cant' deal with the kicking and she can't deal with how much he moves). Then she started preschool in September and so I didn't want to make any changes so I waited about a month. Then I decided that she could sleep where she wanted to, but not in my bed. So she took her blankie and stuffed alligator and slept on the floor next to my bed. Everynight since then I'll read her a story in her bed, laying down with her, then when I'm down she climbs out of her bed with her items (which are now the blankie, stuffed alligator and a stuffed Buzz), makes her way over to the floor next to my bed and goes to sleep. She can climb in my bed and she knows that, but she chooses to stay on the floor. When the alarm goes off at 6am she climbs into my bed and we watch the Wiggles together before we get up to get ready for school. Right now she seems happy with this arrangement, though I'm hoping that she'll realize her bed is more comfortable than the floor and she'll start sleeping in there. We just set up a blanket on the floor for her though since she hasn't come to that conclusion yet and we felt bad watching her sleep on the rough carpet.

Oh, incidentally, the preschool she goes to is a Montessori school and I was talking with her teacher about her sleep habits and how she sleeps on the floor, not her bed and her teacher said that one of the Montessori theories is putting kids in a bed on the floor basically from birth. She said they use a regular mattress on the floor instead of a crib and once the kids become mobile they're often found sleeping next to the toy box, by the door, in the closet, etc. Granted, she doesn't have any kids yet, so I don't really know anyone who has practiced this from birth to know how it goes, but I thought it was interesting that people actually advocate what my daughter does, when I thought it was sorta a bad thing.

I am SO glad to see that this isn't something unique to my child. I thought it was just quirk he has, but glad to see it's a bit more common. I still find it odd, as does everyone I tell, but like I said, he's sleeping through the night, and that's all that matters to me. We read stories, I give hugs and kisses and when I turn to leave each night he says " I sleep by the door " and gets off the bed with his blankie and plunk he goes after I close the door. It's quite comical sometimes, hearing him rolling over after he's asleep, as he is right against the door. I have tried going in when I go to bed and moving him to his bed, but he always ends up back on the floor within a few minutes. Even when he's sound asleep. I hear him a few minutes later thunking against the door. He doesn't ask to come out or cry, just prefers that spot, I guess

 

[tmasingo]

We never knew where we would find my oldest son when he was a toddler.He was never asleep in his bed.It was usually between his dresser and toy box.I am thinking of taking her out of her crib.I don't know if it will help but at this point I have to try SOMETHING.My DS8 could barely keep his eyes open at school.He can't sleep when she is screaming.

A couple of weeks ago I went in to wake DS from his nap because we were going somewhere and he wasn't behind the door (his usually sleeping spot) OR (surprisingly enough) on his bed. He was in his closet, curled up on his belly on his blankie, in front of his diaper basket and hamper. Seriously, it was a sight! I took a picture but am not sure if it came out it was so dark in there. Kids sure do have their own way, huh?

Btw....did you think of trying earplugs for other household members who can't sleep due to the screaming, at least until this passes? It may help.

 

[ItsonlyExperiment626]

From the infor that she goes to bed alright, but waking in the middle of the night have me thinking that she may be in the early stage of teething out her molars. Also at around 19 months or so, babies do start to dream so that could be the problem.