My DD was so scared she peed her pants

[BriarfoxinWA]

We're having issues with one of DS9's friends right now too. About a month ago my older DS's cell phone came up missing when the friend "J" was over. DS15 insisted that J had taken it. I thought DS15 had lost it in his messy room. J came over last weekend and guess what...my cell phone came up missing. Thankfully, when I went to take DS9 and J to his house, I checked to see if I had my phone. Couldn't find it anywhere. After much searching - the boys checked in the car to see if it had fallen out of my purse, then we all went back into the house. After about 20 min. of looking I asked J if he had taken it. He denied it - but I finally went back out to look in the car - it was laying on the floorboard next to where he was sitting. No possible way it could have gotten there unless he had taken it.

So he is no longer welcome in our house. I told DS9 he could still be friends with J at school but he couldn't come over anymore. I believe there are lots of family problems there - suspect one or both of the parents may be using Meth and DS15 says that J's older sister has heroine track marks on her arms

I feel terrible though because DS9 and J have been friends since 1st grade. We have included this boy in lots of family activities but won't anymore. We informally reported what had happened to the local police (DH is a sheriff reserve so we have "connections" ) DH was worried that the parents may try to fabricate some stories just to try to sue us for something and get $$ out of us.

To the OP - I would limit contact with your DD's friends parents - but let DD be friends with her at school. She may need some one to confide in some day.

 

[robsmom]

I would be steaming mad too. But I wouldn't punish the friend by not letting her come over. You home may be the only normal/stable environment she see's. And I just feel if the mom screamed like that at her daughter in front of you and you could hear her hitting her, there's probably a lot worse that goes on in real private. I would be afraid for that child.
Hope your DD is okay now.

I echo this. Your first obligation is always to protecting your own child but your second one should be to protecting other children. I had a friend in HS who's mother was a serious lunatic. We were in HS by this time so it wasn't an issue of child abuse per se but she once accused my friend of stealing from her (trust me she didn't) and just all sorts of other terrible things. She really didn't like her daughter much. My house was a bit of safe haven for her and my mother always tried to be extra kind to her. My mom could never understand how a parent couldn't love such a wonderful girl as my friend. Today said friend is a doctor married with kids living far away and her mother is still a lunatic.

 

[wilderness01]

We have gone through something very similar. The mother is a nutcase and so are the kids. I have severed all contact for my family's sake. Now I wish the kids would just get the hint and stop pursuing the kids. It's sad.

 

[CajunDixie]

. I heard the mom yell at her DD accusing her of lying then I heard her hit her.

Why didn't you call the police and request a welfare check on the child?

 

[wvjules]

After DD got home from school we went over what happened last night again. I asked her if her friend ever said anything to her about her mom hitting her and she said no she only smacks her on the butt when she's in trouble. I believe that's where she hit her last night. It didn't sound like skin on skin contact. If DD thought for one second that her friend's mom was hurting her she'd tell me. (They used to spend a lot of time together.) Trust me, if I thought that she was being abused I would call someone. I wouldn't sit by and let it happen. Sure the mom is a little off her rocker and a whack job but I honestly don't think she beats her daughter. If I suspect anything beyond a spanking going on I won't hesitate to call CPS. (I don't consider spanking a child with your hand abuse but that's a whole other debate lol)

Oh and as for other things going on with the mom...she's supposedly having heart surgery in december so she might be stressed out about that. I'm not sure what I believe about her medical issues. I think she's a hypocondriac. In the 3 years we've known her she's had a stroke, heart attacks and cancer. Who knows if its true or not!?!? If she is in that bad of shape, you'd think she would give up drinking and smoking.