My DD hates her new school

[ChiTownZee]

My daughter recently (started last monday) a program through the school system for her speech. They pick her up from her pre-k/day care around 11 and take her to a public school for this program and then drop her back off at her pre-k at 2.
At first she told me it was fun and she liked going on the bus, but the lately she's been saying she doesn't want to go to that school anymore. And today her new teacher called me to ask me about her behaviour. She's extremely withdrawn, wants to play by herself and won't greet the other kids or the teachers and has actually yelled at them a couple of times. They can't get her to smile or laugh at anything. Yesterday when the teacher greeted her she only filled her mouth up with spit.
I told her when she started her new class she went though an adjustment but nothing like that. I figured it's a hard adjustment, totally new school, kids, teachers, nothing that's familiar at all. The teacher says no other kids have ever acted like this Some cry but nothing like this
She's going to fax a waiver so she can call her current school and talk with her teachers there.
I'm so upset to think of her being so miserable there, and I don't know what I can do. Sorry this is so long, I just get really emotional when it comes to anything relating to her speech/language and the idea of this is so upsetting. She's normally such a social child.

 

[binny]

(((((hugs)))))

Can yo get her to tell you exactly what she doesnt like about it?
I know change can be so hard on there little ones!

 

[Boots]

{{{{{HUGS}}}}} I am so sorry! I know this is as hard on you as it is her. Hope things get better.

 

[disykat]

Sending good thoughts your way - it's so hard to see our babies growing up and having such big problems! Any way you can go observe for a day to see if that gives you any insight?

 

[Yzma and Kronk]

I think I can help with this - DS went through a similar thing.
He started PreK4 (JrK) this Sept and hated it. We had to talk to him about going to school every morning - tears, withdrawn, the whole thing. He seemed to settle down a bit and accepted the fact that he had to go but all the way to school he would think of things why he shouldn't go (at 4 yrs!)
Anyway, this Jan. he started full time and we'd have full blown tears for 1 hour every morning. Luckily he is in a Montesorri school so independent work is encouraged, but he wouldn't eat his lunch and wouldn't socialise with the other children. It has taken until this week to adjust and we don't seem to have any more problems.
What helped for us:
- gave him a picture of him and me to carry in his pocket. If he was feeling sad he could take it out of his pocket. This seemed to help
- also allowed him to take a very small toy in his pocket (he knows not to take it out of his pocket during school) It seems to make him feel that he has a part of his home with him.
- I constantly talked to him about why he had to go, all the friends he'll meet, that he is special that he got to go to the "afternoon" class, and all other positives.
- I also learned what he did at school, and asked him as many specific questions about school as I could without pressing. If he didn't want to talk about it, that was OK.
I know it can be frustrating, and I had many bouts of private tears, but trust me - stick with it and I'm sure you daughter will come to enjoy it. (It only took us 5 months!!)

 

[snoopy]

Kids are all so different. My oldest bounced off to school with not even a glance my way, had no problems adjusting. The younger one was/is much more withdrawn, and likes to play independently. I just figure I have one who is a social butterfly, and one who isn't.

We had a fairly long adjustment period with my youngest in pre-K, but little by little, he is becoming more acclimated. There are still times when I worry, though, I just got his report card and the teacher said he still is not socializing and joining in with the group much. I try and encourage him to play with others as much as I can, but I do have to attribute some of it to genetics - his father was sort of a loner too as a young boy, and I feel that those traits make him what he is today - a man strong about his convictions and very independent. I figure my little guy will turn out like his Daddy, which is just fine by me.

Try not to worry, and give it a little time. If you feel that after some time she still is not making the adjustment, then consider your next step.

 

[ChiTownZee]

Thanks everyone. I think it just suprised me a bit because she's been going to 'school' for so long, even before I went back to work full time, she still went for half days just for the interaction. I spoke with her tonight and she said that the big school is very scary. I asked if it would be as scary if I went a couple of times next week, and she seemed to like that idea. I guess I'll just take an extra long lunch so I can come down while she's there. I also explained how they will do Valentine's at her school AND the new school, and she really seemed to like that idea.
I'm also going to ask her teacher if I can make quick book for her to show the class like a mini-show and tell. Something like pictures of her, her family, Disney World, Pokemon, things she really loves. I thought maybe she might feel closer to the new kids if one said "oh I like that too" or something. What do you think?

 

[RitaZ.]

Lisa, I like those ideas and they certainly can't hurt. This is the PEPPER program, right? How many kids are in the class? I wonder if the bus ride is also intimidating/scary for her...

As another poster said, all children are different. Don't despair, this is an adjustment period for her. She'll eventually adjust, I think a week hasn't been long enough. {{hugs}}

 

[ChiTownZee]

This is the PEPPER program, right?

I haven't heard it called that. I've seen it called the Pre-K A program, it's through ChildFind.

How many kids are in the class?

I just got the Valentine note today, I guess 22. Seems like a lot.

I wonder if the bus ride is also intimidating/scary for her...

Actually, I think that's the one thing she doesn't mind, she was very upset the first week when they had to work out the schedule and she didn't get to go. She says the bus is 'very fun'.

She'll eventually adjust,

I know, eventually. I just want to make her happy there NOW

 

[RitaZ.]

Oh I see, you're in Palm Beach county. It's called the PEPPER program in Broward county, also through Child Find. It's probably the same program.

My DS#2 was in the PEPPER program for language therapy and there were 6 to 7 kids in the class. The teacher had to hold more sessions, but she said it worked better with less kids (I agreed). It was just like a preschool class and they also did activities that focused on the child's individual problem/delay.

I just got the Valentine note today, I guess 22. Seems like a lot.

Yes, that's a lot.

I like the idea of the book and the mini-show and tell. Good luck!