My co-worker is driving me nuts.

[sunnyday123]

Things are stressful at work. They are laying people off in huge numbers, we have no work, and they swear we do. They have changed processes so many times no one knows what they're doing.

My co-worker is going to be the end of me. All day long, she spouts out random things. "How do you spell moat? My husband flew away today! I worry about the sun dying, the earth wouldn't survive too long." She announces when she goes to the bathroom, break, lunch, or just away from her desk. Loudly.

If the phone rings, hers or someone elses, she shouts, "Am I supposed to get that?!" We work in an office where a phone rings about, oh..once every 5 minutes??

If someone comes to her desk, she shouts, "No one saw me, I didn't do it, can't prove a thing!"

She reads newspapers out loud, and does crossword puzzles at her desk. And will then interrupt you to ask you if know the answer to 6 down. If anyone mentions ANY tv show they happened to watch, she will tell you she doesn't watch "that" because she only watches sci-fi and it's proven that highly intelligent people only watch sci-fi. Well, excuse us morons who watch Wipeout. Someone hand me my drool towel.

And I just don't have enough vacation time to take the rest of the year off.

 

[minkydog]

She's just got her own little reality show going on there, doesn't she. I think I'd just ignore her. She's attention-seeking.

 

[Mrs.Reese]

Can you put a hidden camera in your office? I would probably find her highly amusing. Perhaps though this is her reaction to the situation at work. Either way I would just ignore her.

 

[worm761]

I feel for you. I am laughing but only because I can feel your pain. I am a SAHM and homeschool my son. DS is 14 and has autism. He recently has the need to narrate life. It doesn't matter what he is doing, he says it out loud. It gets annoying after a while but it is what it is.

 

[Beckypooh1972]

God love you, OP! So sorry you have to put up with your co-worker - maybe she is trying to get severanced... can I suggest noise reducing headphones? Really it would really help block her out.

 

[C.Ann]

Two choices:

Ear plugs

Duct tape

Your pick..

 

[sunnyday123]

God love you, OP! So sorry you have to put up with your co-worker - maybe she is trying to get severanced... can I suggest noise reducing headphones? Really it would really help block her out.

I wear earphones all day-it's the first thing I do when I sit down in the morning. She just grabs my chair and shakes it.

The really best part is when she talks about sex with her husband-she always starts at their "first time." Then she tells you how different it is now.

 

[Hillbeans]

Do you have an HR Department? I would not want to put up with that nonsense and would draw a line about my co-worker describing their sex life with me, especially if I can't stand them.

 

[emer95]

Oh, OP!! I feel for you. I swear we must work in the same place because I have a coworker who is exactly like that. Thankfully I'm a teacher and I can hide in my classroom (she's a social worker). She is the most unprofessional "professional" I've ever met and completely obnoxious.

OP- don't your other coworkers want to strangle this woman?

 

[sunnyday123]

Do you have an HR Department? I would not want to put up with that nonsense and would draw a line about my co-worker describing their sex life with me, especially if I can't stand them.

She doesn't describe it in detail, but she still manages to make it icky. She says it's intimate and spiritual. That's usually when I turn up my headphones.

She also yells out at least once a day, "Oh somebody just shoot me!"

To which a guy about 2 seats down responds ( every time) "Do you want it in the head or the chest?"

 

[scrapquitler]

Wow. It sounds like maybe she has some real mental health issues going on. I would try talking to your supervisor about how distracting her behavior is to you....you can't be the only one getting distracted by it. Then I might call Human Resources, there's usually some sort of employee intervention service that helps employees with mental health type issues, maybe they can give her a referral.

Beyond that, I might be tempted to start making YouTube videos.

 

[momof1princess]

OP, i agree with the PP who said your co-worker has some mental issues. my mom had a nervous breakdown in early may, and the way you describe your co-worker, she sounds JUST like my mom. especially with the blurting out random things. about 3-4 weeks ago, DH and i drove her to the doctor in another city, she was in the backseat, we stopped at a stop sign and she blurted out "tell him to take his foot off the brake, he's choking me!". all DH and i could do was cut our eyes at each other like "WTH?" and she said it a second time. you poor thing i know your pain.

 

[sunnyday123]

OP, i agree with the PP who said your co-worker has some mental issues. my mom had a nervous breakdown in early may, and the way you describe your co-worker, she sounds JUST like my mom. especially with the blurting out random things. about 3-4 weeks ago, DH and i drove her to the doctor in another city, she was in the backseat, we stopped at a stop sign and she blurted out "tell him to take his foot off the brake, he's choking me!". all DH and i could do was cut our eyes at each other like "WTH?" and she said it a second time. you poor thing i know your pain.

We've all come to the conclusion she's nutty. She's also said she doesn't take whatever "anti" meds her dr. prescribed because she can't afford to buy them. However, she buys 4 cartons of cigarettes a week. Today she went on and on about how she wished she could order lunch, but she was soooo broke-that finally someone broke down and paid for her lunch.

We've all complained, but she's been like this for years-at least 14 that I know of! She's very argumentative as well, but according to her, that's what intelligent people do. They question things. Our weekly meetings are great fun, they consist of our manager spending the hour debating insignificant things with her. She's right, and there is NO swaying her-she'll just repeat herself over and over.

Our HR department went away when we were bought out. It's still there, just impossible to find them ( another thing that was outsourced!) and then there isn't anything they'll really do. I don't want her to lose her job, I just want her to do it somewhere far, far away.


And oh my God. I got a tag from this thread!!!

 

[kaytieeldr]

We've all complained, but she's been like this for years-at least 14 that I know of! She's very argumentative as well, but according to her, that's what intelligent people do

No, we don't. And we don't 'only watch sci-fi' either; some of us don't watch it at all.

She's either confusing "eccentric" with "intelligent", or as others have pointed out, she has mental issues - and has for a long time, from your description. It's even possible she has undiagnosed autism, based on Worm461's post. That's NOT a diagnosis, I'm not qualified - it's a guess!

Can you move somewhere else in the office?

 

[bumbershoot]

If someone comes to her desk, she shouts, "No one saw me, I didn't do it, can't prove a thing!"

I can see where that was funny maybe the first 5 times she said it. But since you said she's been there 14 years, that was a LONG time ago.


If you don't want to get rid of her, can't find the HR people, etc etc etc...perhaps you should just start a thread, a la Evil Geniuses thread from a year or two ago about her coworker, and amuse us all while getting it out of your system?


I would have to call a halt to the shaking your chair to get your attention thing. Either a firm statement that she can't misunderstand, or perhaps just start screaming everytime she does it (but then you might end up having a thread in YOUR honor here by another coworker who doesn't know why you are screaming, LOL).

 

[scrapbookworm]

Wow, that sounds just like someone I know. I think that deep down, it's attention seeking and a bit of drama queen action. She also does the announcing "I've got to go PEE", (or other bodily function), etc. She also has no shame in describing anything that happens to her, especially if she doesn't make it to the bathroom in time, has an upset stomach, etc. Her favorite sayings include "Well POOP!!!" if she's told no or something doesn't work out, "Well you oughta know!" if I don't know the answer to her question. It's hard to have a serious conversation with her b/c she'll make the most outrageous suggestions, and she's serious about them. Stuff that would have damaged my career, my marriage, my house, etc. She's also endlessly picking and teasing about something, patronizing me as adult (she still sees me as a child). She talks non-stop, expecting me to listen and answer, and it gets frustrating if I'm trying to fix something of hers, trying to drive, etc. I had to point blank tell her one day that there was no way I could fix her electronics and carry on a conversation at the same time (and the TV was turned up super loud right beside me too.)

 

[polkadotsuitcase]

Holy smokes, I know it's frustrating, but these stories are wild! Makes me count my blessings that I work from home. The only crazy things my coworkers do are break the blinds barking at another dog in our yard or bring me wild, homemade "smoothie" concoctions made from every sweet thing in the pantry.

 

[PUZZLDY5]

Feel fortunate. My cube neighbor farts. Yes folks he farts. A lot! Not to mention all the other bodily functions he does over there. He is just gross.

 

[Darsa]

Feel fortunate. My cube neighbor farts. Yes folks he farts. A lot! Not to mention all the other bodily functions he does over there

How interesting, I have the same exact issue! Except mine is a lady, and she sits on one of those big exercise balls rather than a regular office chair. You can imagine the sound it makes...

 

[thebigkahuna]

She just grabs my chair and shakes it.

Seriously? That would stop RIGHT NOW. I would have to either be REALLY rude, or possibly threaten her well being. I'm not a big fan of having my personal space invaded (can you tell?) and I would have to make sure that came to a screeching halt.

Besides that though, I think the fact that she is getting reactions is keeping her going. I have been known to shush coworkers. Maybe if you tell the bosses that your productivity is being affected, and have a solid suggestion ( like, moving to an office, or a cube as far away as possible) you can get some resolution. Good luck, she sounds like a treat!