My 2 years old daughter not eating....

[tchan03]

HI My girl is 25 months old. We sent her to full day program ( 9 am to 4pm officially , but she's usually being picked up at ~3pm ) at Montessori school two weeks ago. She's not eating much , a tiny bit of snack and lunch.
This week even worse, she's not eat meal (rice or noodle), she's not even eating any snack (bread, cookies ). She eats and drinks everything (any food, doesnt matter what food) mom in law feeds her right after school.

She's not crying anymore when my wife dropped her off. So this part is settled down. I dont think she not eating because she wanted to take revenge of us that we left her alone at school.

Before school, she stayed at mom in law house. She sometimes pick up orange or watermelon pieces using little fork, but for real meal, she's always fed by my wife or mom in law.

We are worried because we dont want her stomach to get smaller . Teacher always said "they cannot force her to eat" ...well...

This school, ratio is like 1 teacher to 7 or 8 kids. so i dont expect teacher to do whole lot with so many kids.

Any advice?

 

[FireDancer]

All the advice you need is here. You can thank me later.

 

[Magic Mom]

If she really isn't eating at school or at home, then I would take her to the doctorr to rule out any health issues.

 

[bumbershoot]

Since she's eating everything your MIL gives her after school, sounds like she just misses her grandmother. And if she usually doesn't feed herself, perhaps she just doesn't want to learn it, or misses being doted on so lovingly?

What would it mean, for her stomach to get smaller? Not sure that's a valid worry or not...

Instead of all that starch (bread, noodles, rice, cookies) are you offering anything else? Fruit, veggie, protein?

 

[love2disney]

Her stomach is not gonna get smaller with a few missed meals. My DS2 just started daycare too. The first few weeks are hard. Mainly she is not eating becoz she doesnt know how to. I mean the hwole independent eating process. Try doing it at home. Give her bite size food she can eat wiht a fork. Also the food maybe new to her. LIke we never had applesauce at home. So it took my son about 45 days before he got into the flow of things.

Till then make sure she has a filling meal as soon as you pick her up.

 

[tchan03]

She's not picky on food just that she always being spoiled at home, as we asked to eat by herself, she will say "daddy feed " or "mommy feed" at home

 

[The Mystery Machine]

It sounds like she is getting daily nutrition so I would not worry about it. Eventually she will eat a full lunch at school. One day it will click for her.

And 2yo's do not "take revenge".

They can be upset by a change in their schedule and then they need to readjust.

 

[RadioNate]

I can't not believe your DD wants you to feed her. Well I believe it but my just 28 month old will scream "ME DO!!!" at the slightest hint of someone trying to do anything for her. There is no way she would let someone feed her!

The mess is a 'small stuff' let her learn to feed herself and she will eat at school.

I think she isn't eating at school because no one is feeding her. They aren't going to either so she needs to start learning now.

 

[lilmissbehaved]

I can't not believe your DD wants you to feed her. Well I believe it but my just 28 month old will scream "ME DO!!!" at the slightest hint of someone trying to do anything for her. There is no way she would let someone feed her!

The mess is a 'small stuff' let her learn to feed herself and she will eat at school.

I think she isn't eating at school because no one is feeding her. They aren't going to either so she needs to start learning now.

My 25 month old has the "ME DO's"!!! too. the mess all over my house is proof of it.. !!!

I agree.. sounds like she wants to be fed.. as a mother w/ a kid in daycare, she will adapt quickly and will be fine.. Takes a while especially at this age, but she will adjust!!

 

[monkeybug]

My pediatrician always told me that toddlers are the only living things that grow a ton while eating nothing!
Just make sure you are offering her plenty of nutritious foods through out the day, she isn't losing weight, and she is going to the bathroom on a normal schedule, and you will be fine!
If you are really worried (or if she is losing weight) you could ask your Dr. for suggestions. They may recommend boost or pediasure and run some tests to make sure there isn't a medical reason she's not eating.
(but having been a preschool teacher, my guess is she is having fun socializing or playing and just too busy to bother eating, it's fine to just let her make up for it when she gets home.)

 

[mjkacmom]

Stop feeding her at home. There is no reason why a 2 year old can feed herself. Heck, when my twins were little, they were feeding themselves (finger food) by 10 months (I was SO tired of spoon feeding them!).

 

[LuvOrlando]

What are the foods being offered to her? Does she just not like the choices? Does she eat before she leaves in the morning? When my kids were little I would give them a good breakfast so they would be full through school. My offerings were not normal breakfast foods though and they would get mostly Peanut Butter and Jelly, with Cambell's Chicken Noodle Soup or Kraft Macaroni and Cheese as alternates on occasion.

I guess the big thing is how important it is to you that she eat. If you just want her to eat then be flexible in what you offer. If you are particular about what you offer her be prepared she might reject things. In my house I was always more interested that they ate something so I was always offering new and different things and it worked well, both of my kids eat a really wide variety of things from sushi & Jewish deli to burgers.

 

[Bren's Mom]

I agree, stop babying her. At 25 months she should be able to feed herself. It might be messy, and her fork skills not great, and some stuff she'll still eat with her fingers...but you're doing a disservice to her by spoon feeding all of her meals to her. Obviously this is why she isn't eat at school. Once you help her learn to eat on her own, and once she's gotten used to school, she'll start eating better. In the meantime, she won't starve.

 

[ChristaDeVil]

All the advice you need is here. You can thank me later.

Awesome.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Hey Tchan, it's Wishing.....

At your daughters age, she should be fully feeding herself.
I imagine that starting at Montessori is overwhelming enough, and adding the 'demand' of dealing with handling meals by herself when she has never learned and become accustomed to this is a huge factor.

I can fully empathize, as my son had issues with eating at that age himself.....

Work on getting her used to handling her meals on her own....

Is she being given simple finger-foods, or dishes in containers that might take more effort and eating utensils?????

Does she perhaps have sensory issues about handling food that might be messy in her hands/fingers....

At any rate... Don't panic!!!
Soon, you will probably see that this is a tiny blip on the radar.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I work in a preschool room. We have some kids who eat very little at school but are obviously growing just fine. The teachers will encourage kids to take a few bites but we do not feed the kids. We encourage the parents to let their kids feed themselves at home. It makes it a lot easier for them when they are expected to feed themselves at school. We have a 4 1/2 year old whose parents said they still feed her at home or she refuses to eat. She uses a spoon and forks just fine when she's at school so it's not that she's not capable. She just likes to get the attention from mom and dad.

If your child is not eating at school, I would recommend sending a variety of foods that she likes eating at home (maybe small servings of 3-4 choices). The teachers will help her open her containers and the rest is up to her. It may be that she's still adjusting to the environment and schedule. Don't make a big deal out of eating and I'll bet things will improve soon.