my 2 and a half year old DD is hitting kids!!!

[D L and K's Mom]

Yikes, my 2 and a half year old DD who is so sweet and innocent has started hitting kids at her sitters house. She can talk up a blue streak so it isnt because she is frustrated. She is the youngest here (sister is 14 and brother is a special needs child and is 16) . My sitter says she doesnt like to share so she hits. She doesnt really have to share here with anyone but she shares her food and will offer to share toys etc, she never had a problem sharing here. I love my sitter and the other kids are nice kids not bullys. We do have the occasional temper tantrum etc. There are only 3 other children there. The one DD has a problem with is another little girl who is her age. They get along great usaully. The other little girl does not hit!!! ....I am going nuts. Time -out isnt working. I know that this is somewhat "normal" but I am not happy about it I feel horrible. She is slapping the other children's arm and throwing toys.....HELP!!!!!!!! I am the parent of...:THAT KID" the one that the other parents talk about....THAT KID the one who slaps... I am so sad. I am a teacher and I can control other kids no problem. Older DD never did this...she was so quiet.Anyone have any suggestions. We use time-out and it does not seem to work. She could care less. We have taken away privilages...yikes!!! I don't think a spanking would help trying to get he to stop hitting..seems like a bad idea. I feel terrible.

 

[CEDmom]

I never had to deal with this so I don't know how much help I'll be. The first thing I thought of was verbalization issues because that's pretty common at your DD's age. Even though she's very verbal she may still be having problem expressing how she's feeling. Children at that age are so impetuous that it's difficult to set consequences etc. I'd just continue to remove her from situations that might trigger this behavior and tell her firmly "no" when she's about to hit or throw something. I'd also help her learn words she can use rather than hitting or throwing things. I'm sure this is a phase and before long you'll be pulling your hair out over something else. It's a wonder all moms aren't bald .

 

[kristen821]

I think this is something the babysitter needs to deal with more then you. You can talk to her about not hitting but she is young and may not remember when she is mad at the other girl. The babysitter needs to put her in the time out. When she is put in the time out she will lose the toy she is hitting over. Eventually she will stop hitting. Does she usually have the toy first or is she hitting to get the toy? Then it would be a communication problem. She can't put her feelings into words. Is the other girl the babysitters kid? Possibly she is over looking the problem with the other child.

 

[clh2]

I so feel your pain. Even though DD is now 11, she didn't hit, she bit others. I was so embarrassed several times when I picked her up from day care.

With my DD, it stopped just as quickly as it started, and if my memory serves me correctly, that coincided with it was about the same time as she moved into the 3-year old room. I think DD was just under 3 when it started. But, due to space/staffing at the daycare, all her buddies (a couple of months older than her) moved into the 3-year old room without her, so she was pretty well stuck in a room with the "babies"

It does get better - just hang in there!

 

[Judy from Boise]

I always default to taking her to her Health care provider to make sure she isn't acting out because she is in pain and not able to describe it.

 

[D L and K's Mom]

Thank you for the info. DD just came back from the Dr 3 days ago for a cold. She is fine, no ear infections etc.....just a cold. I think it is a sharing problem. If someone has toy she wants she just grabs it and if they won't let go....she slaps them or hits them on the arm! She has been put in time out many many times. It just doesnt bother her. Today when she was put in time out she took off her shoes and palyed with her toes singing "This little piggy" I am so embrassed. When she was told to stop playing and to sit quietly she yelled,"ok who wants to smell my feet now" I am embrassed to say that this is a game her and her big sis play. They chase each other around yelling "I'm going to make you smell my feet. (it stems from Big Sis's smelly cleats.....I know its GROSS!). My friend said she tries hard to ignore DD when she is in time out but the 2 other girls keep saying...."Kennedy is ......blah blah blah. I hate to sound like a bragging mom but she can talk as well as I can...really I am not just saying that. She can have conversations and she can verbalize. She can tell you what she is feeling. She often says I am getting angry now. She can tell you she is so happy or so tired. She knows she can't hit . She waits until you are not watching and then strikes! Then if the other little girl cries she runs and hides. It is only this one girl and she is a tiny little bit of a thing. We sat down tonight and talked about hitting and being mad. We showed her how it is not nice to be mean. Yes, my older daughter and I played and then I hit her and she cried....etc. We looked like idiots but we are hoping it helps. Last time she did this we canceled our trip to the Museum for the afternoon. She was sad and we told her why we were not going. If you ask her she will tell you she didnt go to the museum because she hit Abby. She understands but keeps doing it. I am the Mom of the kid you can't wait to go home!!! How much do WWF wrestlers make a year? Will she make enough to support me in my old age???