My 18 year old home alone for the weekend....

[tasha99]

Be it now or in the fall she will eventually be home alone and will have to bea responsible adult. I would not worry about her being home alone over the weekend.

That's an entirely different prospect. An 18 year old in a large house with a pool would likely have lots of friends asking to come over. Not every 18 year old is able to say "no" when they need too, especially if their friends are pushing to come visit.

I recently left my 14 year old home alone for one night so I could go on a fishing trip. I felt it was okay--I live in a fourplex and know all the neighbors, one of whom checked in in him. But at 14, the worst he would do is play video games and eat hot pockets all night. By 18, that might not be true anymore (or it might still be.)

Point is, every kid is different, and parents know their kids better than strangers on a random forum. If the OP has doubts, I say to go with her gut.

 

[Jennasis]

If your DD has given you no reason to mistrust her than TRUST HER. She's 18 and heading to college for cryin' out loud. You did good Mom...you raised a good kid! Give yourself (and her) some credit! Right? It'll be fine!

All said with a big hug to you. She'll do fine.

 

[mjkacmom]

My sister was second in her class. She and her friends were never in trouble, all honor students, and ran with a very nice crowd. My parents left her "alone" with a 21 year old sitter, when she was 16. She decided to have some friends over. However, word spread quickly that there was a parentless house, and soon things got out of hand. Luckily, a neighbor called the police before there was too much damage.

I trust my kids, 100%. None have been in any trouble (so far). However, I wouldn't leave my oldest home alone (she wouldn't mind) because she's not very assertive, and I could see a party happening. Now, dd11 - I'd leave her, because she can stand up for herself.

My oldest has been given a lot of opportunities to be independent - has flown alone several times, has taken public transportation into NYC without parental supervision, can pretty much go wherever she wants - but I don't think she's mature enough to handle a bunch of teens wanting to have a party in our home.

 

[TheSchragFamily]

I feel sorry for the kids in these threads. EITHER you have coddled them so that they really are incompetent at 18, OR you don't trust them for no good reason. Both are sad. Yes, I really just said that on the DisBoards.

 

[Anne34]

I have no problem leaving my 18 year old alone overnight....not so sure about the 16 year old. I have one now and seriously -- word spreads quickly when parents are gone. It would be hard for him to speak up if lots of kids came over. We had a pool too and that is a big repsonsibility for kids this age. If someone brings beer or somehting it can get out of hand quickly.

We live in the suburbs and this does happen. I guess I'm just overprotective.

 

[krcit]

I have no problem leaving my 18 year old alone overnight....not so sure about the 16 year old. I have one now and seriously -- word spreads quickly when parents are gone. It would be hard for him to speak up if lots of kids came over. We had a pool too and that is a big repsonsibility for kids this age. If someone brings beer or somehting it can get out of hand quickly.

We live in the suburbs and this does happen. I guess I'm just overprotective.

I'm with you. I don't think it's over-protective I think it's smart. I never got in trouble when I was a teen. it wasn;'t that I didn't do anything wrong it was that I was smart enough not to get caught, lol. My parents left me home when I was 16, 17, 18 etc. I had my friends over but was smart enough to keep it down to a small crowd. These days with facebook, twitter and texts?? Forget it. Word gets out that there are no parents home and all bets are off. It can very quickly get out of hand and completely out of the girls; control. I have seen it happen twice to my dd's friends. Another thing to think of these days is social hosting laws. Kid comes to your house and drinks and something happens, you're liable and can get arrested. Doesn't matter if you weren't home. So, that being said, you have to trust your gut. I actually left my then 16 and 13 year old dd's home overnight last fall because I knew they wouldn't have a party. Plus my next door neighbor was keeping her eye on them.


These threads annoy me when people start with the "how can you not trust your child who is heading off to college etc." Kids do stupid things. Trying to prevent them from doing stupid things that could kill them or cause you to lose your home does not mean you have failed as a parent. It means that you're being realistic and willing to admit that sometimes kids make really really poor decisions, even if that poor decision is something as silly as mentioning that Mom and Dad are away all weekend to the wrong person.

 

[krcit]

I feel sorry for the kids in these threads. EITHER you have coddled them so that they really are incompetent at 18, OR you don't trust them for no good reason. Both are sad. Yes, I really just said that on the DisBoards.

Right. Because it's either black or white.

 

[MichelleinMaine]

My 17 yr old stayed home alone for weekends while she was in High school. I would hope by now you have raised her to be a responsible young adult and could take care of herself for a weekend. If not she is going to have trouble come August. The 15 yr old can take care of herself so it isn't like she will be babysitting. I trusted my DD completely.

With the pool I think it would be reasonable to say no friends swimming, since that is a liability/insurance thing.

I always made sure the car had gas, there was food, money if she needed anything, and my credit card in case something unexpected came up.

This. And I'd also let her know she can call X neighbor if there are any issues. (Also let X neighbor know they are there "just in case" )

 

[ZachnElli]

I love all the perfect parents with their perfect kids on the Dis. My parents trusted my brother to be left home alone while we, I'm younger, went out of town several times. His parties were legendary! He racked up 3 MIP's. That was over 25 years ago, my brother is now 43. This isnt new. I understand the OP'rs concern as a homeowner with a pool and the little sister to one heck of a wild teenager growing up!

 

[akclayton]

My parents left my brother at home the day after I graduated for a whole week while they went to Disney. We both had to work so we couldn't go. I'm a lot more calm and not a party goer like my brother was. He was 16, I was 18. But I think him knowing that about me, kept him from doing anything stupid. We were both capable of cooking for ourselves and all that. Our parents also gave us a list of chores that needed to be completed while they were gone and done by the time they returned. We didn't have any problems. I think it depends on the kids and whether or not you can trust them. Our parents gave us contact numbers of people that lived in town that we could contact if we had an emergency or needed something we couldn't do. We didn't have to use them but I'm sure that kept my parents at ease. I think a few of them called or came by to check on us a few times.

 

[JessicaR]

It all comes down to your comfort level. You know your kids, we know ours. Nobody can speak for the other.

I have been leaving my kids alone (short trips) since the oldest was 16 and the youngest was 12. They cared for the house and the pets. That was 3 years ago.

Also, I have a pool. If we tell the kids no pool while we are away, there is no pool.

 

[Janepod]

I was the perfect child (like so many parents here seem to have) with perfect grades, church every Sunday, polite, clean cut - I've even joked here about (true) that I went to school on Senior Cut Day.

And hell yeah every time my parents left me alone my brother and I had mega pool parties. With alcohol. And maybe a little drugs (not mine, other people showing up with). And sex. Typical teenage parties, really - if it wasn't at my house, it would have been someone else's house.

And my parents never, ever knew.

Just sayin'.

 

[beaucoup]

I was left home alone every weekend from grade 9-12 because I had band & other commitments & my parents went to their 2nd home on weekends.

Never burned the house down or anything like that.

Your 18 yr old kid is an adult and is completely old enough to be married, raise a family, own a home, take out a mortgage, vote and join the military.

Maybe you should allow her to be the adult she is and not treat her as such a child.

If you won't now, please answer at what age you will. I am curious.

 

[lizabu]

I think if both kids were 18+ it would be a different story but some 15 year olds are pretty immature. I know at that age I did a lot of things without fully thinking through the consequences. I think it has a lot to do with the kids themselves. Some kids at that age would be fine while others would have a project X style party.

 

[punkin]

Last year when DD was 18, I left her alone with DD (then)12. DH and I were clear across the country. DDs had some friends over and (gasp!) I guess it was technically a party, though with the mixed ages maybe the older kids were more careful. Nothing untoward happened.

If you have good kids, I say go for it. The other poster with the 20 yo had a completely different situation because she had reason not to trust her DD.

 

[MichelleVW]

I was the perfect child (like so many parents here seem to have) with perfect grades, church every Sunday, polite, clean cut - I've even joked here about (true) that I went to school on Senior Cut Day.

And hell yeah every time my parents left me alone my brother and I had mega pool parties. With alcohol. And maybe a little drugs (not mine, other people showing up with). And sex. Typical teenage parties, really - if it wasn't at my house, it would have been someone else's house.

And my parents never, ever knew.

Just sayin'.

I've left my girls alone since they were 14 and 16 and there have been no crazy parties. They are in no way shape or form perfect, but they know how to take care of our home. Thankfully I do trust them since we have a bunch of animals that they take care of while we're gone.

 

[Disney Doll]

I am amazed at the number of people that think that turning 18 automatically turns someone into an "adult".

OP, you know your kids. If you think they'll be OK, they will be.

Have a neighbor keep their eyes open and call/text you if something looks fishy.

My neighbor did that last year with their 18 and 15 year old. They went away, left the kids home, told me to keep my eyes peeled for wild parties etc. It was quiet.