my 17 year old went out

[kirbsam]

so my dd, 17 went out last night. and i was ok with it. does that make me a bad parent?

 

[Planogirl]

Yes!

 

[DVCLiz]

Both of mine went out - and DROVE.

They were both staying overnight at a friend's house and were in and off the road by 9pm, so I was fine with it.

I'd have "let" my older daughter drive home after midnight if she hadn't spent the night - after all, she's a senior in college and she would have made her own decision about it! - but I would have been more concerned than usual and would have been glad to see her back home safely. I'd have kept that to myself, though.

I wouldn't have let my younger daughter drive after 9pm, though - she's only had her license for three weeks and it's a state law, even if it hadn't been New Year's Eve.

Generally speaking I'm far more lenient with my teens than most on the DIS seem to be.

 

[minkydog]

My DD16 went out last night and STAYED until 4pm this afternoon. And she's gone again. I'm really slacking!

 

[terri01p]

 

[donaldduck352]

I let my DD19-like i have much of a say in it - drive to West Palm with A few friends yesterday.They got there at 9pm and told me she won't be driving the rest of the night.BTW West Palm is A 5hr drive from were I live.

 

[NC State]

...hang on it's going to be a bumpy ride...

 

[Magic Mom]

I'm a bad mom too. Mine went out, but he's 18 so I'm not quite as bad as you.
He did call me at 1AM to let me know he was going to stay the night at the house where the party was. He said he was the only one that had to call home to check in. I asked if he was embarrassed, and he said no because he snuck outside to call.

 

[Planogirl]

Seriously, you do what works best for your family. I would let mine go out if he drove yet. I did.

 

[Doe]

My 17 yr old daughter went out too. We let her drive about 25 miles to a friends house where this group of girls get together for a New Years Eve every year for a slumber party. It was snowing and starting to get icy so we made sure she left before dark and before it got any worse. It took her about an hour to get there. Just got home about 30 min. ago safe and sound.

 

[Nancy]

No...I just think back to my youth and think of what we did at that age...and use my judgment. My soon to be 17 year old was home but if she wanted to go over to friends I would have let her, 21 year old went out, 20 year lives in Ohio now so I have no idea where she was.


When I was younger legal drinking age was 18, bars where I live are open till 4:00am. Most nights I didn't leave the house till almost 10 or 11:00. NY Eve was no different. I loved going out for NY's when I was younger.

 

[C.Ann]

As long as you knew where she was going; who she was going to be with; what they were going to be doing (kinda sort of - LOL); and you did NOT give her permission to drink any alcoholic beverages, I don't see any problem with that..

Hope she had a good time..

 

[mjkacmom]

My DD16 went out last night and STAYED until 4pm this afternoon. And she's gone again. I'm really slacking!

Dd13 was dropped at a friend's home at 10, after a party we all went to. She got home at 1 pm today, went out again at 3, came home at 5:30, and is out again right now until 10:30 (at a friend's house).

 

[kirbsam]

As long as you knew where she was going; who she was going to be with; what they were going to be doing (kinda sort of - LOL); and you did NOT give her permission to drink any alcoholic beverages, I don't see any problem with that..

Hope she had a good time..

right on sweetheart.

 

[tiggspring]

NO!!! You are a good parent.

You child will be able to live on their own, get married and go to war in one year or less. If we expect them to be ready for all that we need to let them practice while at home. You did the right thing! I dont get parents that dont let their kids make a move and then at 18 expect them to be an adult how exactly is that going to happen? Employers, universities, police and judges will expect them to be adults at 18. We need to help them get there!!!!

 

[brytorlyn]

Not enough info.

At 17 my daughter went out but we knew where she went and we knew the parents were home and supervising. They have a hot tub in the yard and the kids were friends for years. One year she stayed over night and one year we picked her up (father had a heart attack and they didn't need a bunch of teens staying over night).

Doesn't make you a bad parent because she went out but I don't approve of parents turning a blind eye to drinking underage ...it IS illegal. How can you teach your kids to be good citizens if the lesson is that you can ignore the laws that inconvenience you. New Years eve is a dangerous night for those drinking and for the sober...I would say it is bad parenting if you didn't have all the info from your kids regarding their plans.

 

[Mermaid02]

We live in Maine- the roads here were bad last night- our 20 year old went out and we asked her to be home by 1:30.......... does that make us bad parents? Her car isn't running, she used ours, we let her even though she already backed into something with it last month.

Seriously- we all do what we think is best for our kids...... next year she'll be 21 and most likely have her own apartment.....

 

[minkydog]

Doesn't make you a bad parent because she went out but I don't approve of parents turning a blind eye to drinking underage ...it IS illegal. How can you teach your kids to be good citizens if the lesson is that you can ignore the laws that inconvenience you. New Years eve is a dangerous night for those drinking and for the sober...I would say it is bad parenting if you didn't have all the info from your kids regarding their plans.

We do allow DD16 to drink a little wine with dinner occasionally( about an inch in a glass) and I cook with wine quite frequently. It's a very common practice in Europe for teens to drink wine before the so-called legal age. Of course, none of us drinks to excess and I would NEVER offer an alcoholic beverage to an under-age friend. And we would never offer DD wine if her friends were with us. It's strictly with the family and not a big deal at all. Plus, DD is becoming somewhat knowledgable about the different kinds of wine and how to pair them with meals.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

NO!!! You are a good parent.

You child will be able to live on their own, get married and go to war in one year or less. If we expect them to be ready for all that we need to let them practice while at home. You did the right thing! I dont get parents that dont let their kids make a move and then at 18 expect them to be an adult how exactly is that going to happen? Employers, universities, police and judges will expect them to be adults at 18. We need to help them get there!!!!

what she said

 

[Mickey's Minion]

We do allow DD16 to drink a little wine with dinner occasionally( about an inch in a glass) and I cook with wine quite frequently. It's a very common practice in Europe for teens to drink wine before the so-called legal age. Of course, none of us drinks to excess and I would NEVER offer an alcoholic beverage to an under-age friend. And we would never offer DD wine if her friends were with us. It's strictly with the family and not a big deal at all. Plus, DD is becoming somewhat knowledgable about the different kinds of wine and how to pair them with meals.

And what she said...

My mother came from France so as children we always had wine with dinner. I have followed with my children.

Funny thing, when I turned 18 (legal drinking age), drinking alcohol was just not that interesting since I had already tasted it and had been taught how to drink responsibly from an early age.

Myself, my siblings and my kids had no desire to go out drinking when they hit that magic drinking age.