Moving Away from Family

[ilovefh]

DH and I are thinking of moving...incidentally to Fl...but this is not a thread about moving to FL. It is a thread about moving away from family.

Here is our situation. Currently DH and I live in about 10 mins from my parents and sister and an hour and a half from his dad. We are a pretty close family. Every Sunday we do dinner at my parents house. We do spend quite a bit of time together. I'll go shopping occasionally with my mom and sister. DH and sisters boyfriend get along well. And growing up we lived down the street from my grandparents. I always said that is what I wanted for my family too...and DH never thought of moving out of the NH/MA area.

I went to college in North Carolina and then lived in FL for 6 months but had to move back to NC due to my roommate. I've been wanting to move back to FL for years but kept putting it off (and good thing I did because I would not have met DH!) I just keep thinking that if I don't try it I'll always wonder if I would have liked it!

I started thinking that maybe now is the time. We don't have any kids. I would love to teach in the district that I currently work in, but I don't think that will happen so I figure that if I have to leave the district, why not go to FL now. DH works for the cable company so he would be looking for jobs with the cable company down there. It is a lose/lose for his job. Here he has to work outside in the freezing cold, snowy winters and there it would be in the hot, humid summers.

It wouldn't have to be permanent is how I look at it.

So now that you have read all that, has anyone ever moved away from family they are close to? How did you handle it? How did they handle it? How often did you visit? I'm thinking with FL we would see them fairly often. This year in addition to going to FL twice they are snowbirds and have been in FL since January and are coming home in mid April.

Thanks for any adivce!

 

[meliss8599]

If it were up to DH, we'd be in FL right now b/c he hates the winter. I would move in a heartbeat if it were not for my fear of missing my family. We are INCREDIBLY close. I see them all the time; my aunt and uncle are like a second set of parents and my cousins are more like siblings. That being said, this part of your OP would be HUGE for me:

I'm thinking with FL we would see them fairly often. This year in addition to going to FL twice they are snowbirds and have been in FL since January and are coming home in mid April.

Thanks for any adivce!

If I knew my family would be down from Jan.- April and they would visit twice more, I know I would be able to visit them twice as well, I would move in a heartbeat. If you honestly know that they'll be w/you every winter and that they'll visit often and you know you can hop on a plane often to see them, GO FOR IT. Best of luck to you in your decision making!

 

[Luvchefmic]

Let me say this to you I am extremely close to my Aunt and other relatives left behind in NY. It's hard not to put your arms around someone when you used to see them all the time. We are still very close & talk on the phone almost everyday, it helps. The more important thing to consider is employment issues when making your decisions.

I am going to give you $$ advice. I left a job on Long Island NY that I was being paid approx $45,000 a year (not counting O/T) DH left a job that made more than that. We had found our dream home, the land we wanted, etc. We moved, BAM the recession hit. I cannot yet find a job. I had a job as a police dispatcher he was a company truck driver (not an owner operator) We are people with decades of experience, we thought we would have no trouble finding work. I had one job here that lasted 3 months & then I was laid off, he got laid off 3 times, companies are either not hiring or there is no job security. We have wiped out all of our savings.

He has now been with a company for 2 weeks and I hold my breath and pray that this lasts. I finally scored an interview yesterday (I have been out of work since last August ) & I pray that I get the job.

If there is anyway you can visit down here and line up any jobs before making a move I would strongly suggest it.

I am not trying to rain on your parade I am just trying to forwarn you that it's very difficult with the economy the way it is. Our local news Tampa Bay 9 reported this morning that the reported unemployment rate in FL is 11.8 %
that doesn't include those that have given up looking and those that aren't eligible for unemployment benefits.

I wish you luck & would love to hear what you decide.

Ruthie

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Yes we moved to TX for 3yrs and then moved back to MO right onto of the bubble on the recession.

Frankly with the unemployment rate as high as it is in FL., no way would I move now.

I would tell you to wait.

Now if you are 100% debt free and have no house to sell that will incur a loss and secured employment prior to moving PLUS a large savings account then go for it.

 

[eliza61]

It is a difficult thing to do when you are close to your relatives. I left the majority of my family in NYC when I left there for a job. It was definitely difficult but the right thing to do.
I talk to my family often and now that my kids are teens and can be left alone (LOL) I drive back home often.

I wouldn't make any moves without a job line up though.

 

[ilovefh]

If I knew my family would be down from Jan.- April and they would visit twice more, I know I would be able to visit them twice as well, I would move in a heartbeat. If you honestly know that they'll be w/you every winter and that they'll visit often and you know you can hop on a plane often to see them, GO FOR IT. Best of luck to you in your decision making!

This is what makes me think it won't be too bad. They will come down at least twice, plus spend at least 3 months down there in the winter. Plus, we will be able to fly back to NH too!

I am not trying to rain on your parade I am just trying to forwarn you that it's very difficult with the economy the way it is. Our local news Tampa Bay 9 reported this morning that the reported unemployment rate in FL is 11.8 %
that doesn't include those that have given up looking and those that aren't eligible for unemployment benefits.

I wish you luck & would love to hear what you decide.

Ruthie

Yes we moved to TX for 3yrs and then moved back to MO right onto of the bubble on the recession.

Frankly with the unemployment rate as high as it is in FL., no way would I move now.

I would tell you to wait.

Now if you are 100% debt free and have no house to sell that will incur a loss and secured employment prior to moving PLUS a large savings account then go for it.

Thanks for the advice!! We do have a house to sell, but it was on the market before we even thought of maybe moving to FL. We're selling it no matter what, which is part of why we are thinking of moving now! We wouldn't even look for jobs until our house sold here. We can put everything in storage and stay with my parents for a while if need be. If we decide not to go we'll buy in my hometown. We are very fortunate that our house was paid for in cash 10 years ago. After selling our home, buying a new one and paying off all debt we should have a good amount in savings.

We would also not move unless both of us secured jobs.

 

[N&B'smom]

DH and I are thinking of moving...incidentally to Fl...but this is not a thread about moving to FL. It is a thread about moving away from family.

Here is our situation. Currently DH and I live in about 10 mins from my parents and sister and an hour and a half from his dad. We are a pretty close family. Every Sunday we do dinner at my parents house. We do spend quite a bit of time together. I'll go shopping occasionally with my mom and sister. DH and sisters boyfriend get along well. And growing up we lived down the street from my grandparents. I always said that is what I wanted for my family too...and DH never thought of moving out of the NH/MA area.

I went to college in North Carolina and then lived in FL for 6 months but had to move back to NC due to my roommate. I've been wanting to move back to FL for years but kept putting it off (and good thing I did because I would not have met DH!) I just keep thinking that if I don't try it I'll always wonder if I would have liked it!

I started thinking that maybe now is the time. We don't have any kids. I would love to teach in the district that I currently work in, but I don't think that will happen so I figure that if I have to leave the district, why not go to FL now. DH works for the cable company so he would be looking for jobs with the cable company down there. It is a lose/lose for his job. Here he has to work outside in the freezing cold, snowy winters and there it would be in the hot, humid summers.

It wouldn't have to be permanent is how I look at it.

So now that you have read all that, has anyone ever moved away from family they are close to? How did you handle it? How did they handle it? How often did you visit? I'm thinking with FL we would see them fairly often. This year in addition to going to FL twice they are snowbirds and have been in FL since January and are coming home in mid April.

Thanks for any adivce!

Hey you! My hubby and I have talked about the same thing. Things are SOOOOOOO bad in NJ and he has been talking about moving for a couple of years. We just had this same discussion because my entire family all live within 5 minutes of me. I don't know how I'd do it! The kids say they'd LOVE to move.

 

[ilovefh]

Hey you! My hubby and I have talked about the same thing. Things are SOOOOOOO bad in NJ and he has been talking about moving for a couple of years. We just had this same discussion because my entire family all live within 5 minutes of me. I don't know how I'd do it! The kids say they'd LOVE to move.

And you'll understand my big conflict....my NKOTB concert buddy lives in NH. Who would I go with down there? Ha Ha! Move down too and I can go from one Shelby concert buddy to another!

 

[PatriciaH]

We moved down from MA 5 and 1/2 years ago. DH's parents were in MA and mine were in NYC so pretty close. The rest of his extended family were in MA, NH, VT and mine were in NY and FL. After we were here a year my parents moved down too. They had been planning a move to FL anyway. I would not worry too much about family esp. if they travel to Florida already. I would worry about jobs. It is really bad here now and everyone we know is trying to get out. DH got a great job offer back in MA and we have to head back. I love Celebration and will miss being close to the parks but we can not find good work here! The daily stress was too much. This is still a place for retired folks that made their money up north and are set in life now. All our young friends are struggling badly. Sad.

 

[minkydog]

Both DH & I come from large, close families. We were the first to ever move away and stand on our own. It was hard, but it was exciting. What we thought was going to be "just a few years" until we had kids turned into almost 28 years! We have had to work harder to stay connected and we miss stuff, but we have never regretted it. DH & I learned quickly to lean on each other and we became best friends in the process. All three of our kids were born here and some day we know that they may decide to move away too. So be it. We often compare ourselves to the pioneers who moved away from home for a better life and sometimes never went home again.

 

[All American]

I live in Utah. My parents are in Kentucky, and my in-laws are in California. My parents feel that since they can afford it easier than we can (only my 15-year-old brother lives with them), they do the bulk of the traveling to Utah (I have several siblings who live here too.) However, my sister and I convinced our husbands to drive with us this summer so we can go to our parents house because sometimes you just need to go home and back to your roots.

Our in-laws don't come up here very often, so we travel there once a year. My in-laws, however, are very kind as they stock the house with our favorite foods and pays for all of our meals and tickets to Disneyland. I guess my FIL did tell MIL they should come up here more since it's just the two of them, and easier for them to get away then us. I hope she takes him up on the idea because I think they are great people.