Moving & Adjusting

[GJM]

We just moved from NJ to SC. Granted it has only been about 2 days in SC, but I miss home in NJ. I feel so far away from my family & friends. I just want to pack up and go back. My DH adjusts in 5 minutes and he can't understand. I knew it would be hard, but I didn't think I would feel this homesick. I even miss the horrible weather.

Has anyone ever moved and regretted it - or how long did it take to adjust. I feel like I made the biggest mistake!

 

[Tybug]

I haven't... just wanted to give you a

 

[lovemygoofy]

I had never lived further than 45 mins from my family until I moved to be with Matt. I had some miserable times the first 3 or 4 months and there are times 5years later I get a pain for home but my home is with Matt.

Go out into your new community and look into orgnaizations that might interest you or some kind of job if you don't have one. The trick is to get out and get involved in the area you are living in now.

When I first moved, I called my mom to tell her I had made it and that I wouldn't call again for 7 days. It was the hardest 7 days and it's even worse if you are all alone while your other half already has something going in the new place. I would say give it a year before you make any big decisions to move back. Good luck, I know how hard it is.

 

[GJM]

Thank you - someone else also said to give it a year. I just didn't think I would feel this way right away

 

[lovemygoofy]

It's the shock and tiredness and stress of everything and knowing that you just can't drive down the block to your favorite places. It's also the scary unknown that makes us want to be where we are most comfortable.

The worst will be if you are alone in the new place for long hours at a time so don't do that. I was home for 30 days before I got my job and it was horrible. All you do is think about what you could be doing right that minute at the old place and it doesn't make you feel any better.

I hope things get better for you soon. Do get out and explore your new home and it's people. Maybe go have a cup of coffee or something and see what kind of acitivites are listed on their boards. I think the first 90 days to almost 6 months are the worst.

 

[Lady de Winter]

I have moved several times and I know going in that I'm going to feel exactly like you described. Homesick, homesick, lonely, homesick, out of my comfort zone, and homesick. Since I KNOW that I'm going to feel that way, I wait it out and concentrate on learning my way around, finding new things to do, meeting new people, etc. It really does help. It also helps to make your new residence into your new comfort zone by putting up your pictures, or painting it a color YOU chose, or planting flowers like you had at your old house, etc. Hang in there. It really will get better!

 

[AmazingGrace]

It takes us truly about a year to feel good and settled. When we moved from MS back to Texas, our house hadn't rented yet. I would wake up every morning rehearsing how I would just tell DH that me and the kids were going back to MS. This Texas thing just wasn't working out for us. Within a few months though, I stopped thinking of ways to go back, and i started feeling at home. The kids started adjusting too so that helped. Now here we are a year later and we feel like we've always been here.

 

[tmasingo]

I moved to SC from MA in 1997 with my then husband to be. We're not together anymore and I now live back in MA, but there were times after we came back to MA that I wished I were still there. We were there for 4 years and I grew to love that place.

I agree that if you can get out and do things it helps. I was lucky in that my job in MA allowed me to transfer within the company to a branch in SC, so I was busy at least. It is still tough, though.

Give it some time and good luck to you!! Where in SC are you now living?

 

[DISUNC]

We just moved from NJ to SC. Granted it has only been about 2 days in SC, but I miss home in NJ. I feel so far away from my family & friends. I just want to pack up and go back. My DH adjusts in 5 minutes and he can't understand. I knew it would be hard, but I didn't think I would feel this homesick. I even miss the horrible weather.

Has anyone ever moved and regretted it - or how long did it take to adjust. I feel like I made the biggest mistake!

I am gonna drive down and throw a Snowball at you!!!!

Give it time! I moved 100 miles away from my family, into a log cabin in the middle of the woods! These crazy people found me...and moved here too!


TRUST ME...as soon as it thaws out in NJ you will be getting MORE COMPANY than you will know what to do with!

 

[Pixie Tales]

im sorry you feel homesick...
men... never understand...

maybe you could try going to the local library and see what kind of groups are around or something.. you may find something of interest and it's a quick way to meet new friends.. ive done it before Twice

best wishes

 

[Poohnatic]

I agree with the give it a year camp.

While we wanted to move to Maryland, heck anywhere other than NY (couldn't afford it), it took a long time to like it. The first two years, if you handed me a briefcase full of money, I would have moved back so fast it would have made your head spin.

Then I had a job offer on the other side of the state. I realized that I liked where I was.

The move to Florida was different. We missed our friends and a few favorite restaurants, but we had a lot to do down here and family nearby. I think this was the quickest we adapted. It was also the first major move with kids-and they were so happy with this move.

Something that has really helped whenever I move someplace new is to drive around and 'discover'. DH and I are foodies, so we made it a point to check out mom and pop/local restaurants. It was fun trying to find the good bbq joint, the good pizza place, chinese. So driving around helped us to find the places that we should try.

Suzanne

 

[SwedishMeatball]

I am gonna drive down and throw a meatball at you!!!!

 

[minnieandme]

It does take some time to adjust to a new environment. Get out and drive around and learn your new surroundings. Find a hobby and sooner than you know it you will meet new people. Good luck.

 

[GJM]

Thanks everyone, it makes me feel better reading everyone elses stories. I have never lived outside of NJ. I miss knowing where I am going.

Living here gives me the chance not to have to work, but I don't know how that will go. My DS seems excited to be here, he is starting school on Mon. I hope he likes it.

Throwing the snowball made me laugh!

 

[DMickey28]

GJM -- HUGS ...

It's hard. DH and I have made three long distance moves together so far and we have only been together for 4.5 years!!

I have always had that initial sadness of leaving home but pushed myself into getting the new place into shape and learning the new area. Find something that is exciting to you to focus on right now. For me it was always unpacking and decorating a new place.

It gets easier but for me personally it gets harder first. I always hit my homesickness about 3 months into a move. I try to plan a trip home for about the same time or have someone come down to be with me ....

HUGS .. you will be ok and adjust ... How far of a drive is NJ to SC? We moved from MA to IN, then IL and now FL. Long car rides!! MA is still home but I did love IL and was homesick for that for a little while!!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

We moved from Missouri to Texas almost 3 yrs ago. It took me a full year to adjust.

I did get a map of the area and was glued to Mapquest to go anywhere for awhile.

I still have to use it to go anywhere past my town.

 

[tw1nsmom]

I moved a lot and I know what you're going through. I agree with the advice about waiting a year and getting out and exploring the community. Use this as an opportunity to do things that you never did before. Volunteer, join a community theater group, take college classes....whatever interests you.

I also want to caution you about idealizing the place you moved from. I can remember being soooo homesick and thinking if I moved home I would be able to do all kinds of things with family and friends. The reality when I finally did move back was that the family dynamic was just as messed up as ever and even the people I really enjoyed were too busy with "life" to really get together too much. The snow wasn't beautiful, pure and romantic. It was wet, cold, dirty and messy. The summers weren't really that much cooler, they were muggy and buggy.

Hang in there.

 

[crazyme5kids]

I could live the life of a gypsy very easily. I loved moving. I did miss my family, but that's what phones and going on road trips are for .

Try thinking of it as a new adventure and a challenge. Find the best grocery store, the best pizza place. Get in the car and drive an hour in each direction.

If it weren't for my kids, I think I'd be happy living out of an RV. One day maybe.

 

[N&B'smom]

My friend moved from California to New Jersey last May. Over the last month, she has finally started to feel like she's HOME.

Do you have family and friends nearby in SC?

I just wanted to offer to send you a New Jersey care package if you ever would like one. If you have any requests for stuff that you can't get where you are, just let me know and I'll send them to you!

Shelby

 

[GJM]

The bad part is our house we are having built won't be ready until the 28th. so we are in a rental house for 2rtlk weeks.

We are in Myrtle Beach, it took me about 12 hours to drive. Flying is only about 1 1/2 hours. I am going up in June for a week or two.

My husbands uncle just moved to Charleston so he is about 1 1/2 hours away.

I did make a friend with someone on these boards who lives in the same development as we are and she has been wonderful with a wealth of information.