I vented yesterday on the Community Board, in emails, on the phone, in real life to my family and stuffed bunny, ... but I need to vent some more.
I work as a consultant, since about 1.5 years (started in January 2007), after a consulting working on a project in my previous company convinced me to switch jobs, does that make sense?) He knew I was unhappy in my previous job (lousy tasks, lousy pay), and offered me a consulting job. The pay was about as lousy but I got a company car and several other extras, and they promised me that the job content would be a lot better.
Well, just research how much I posted in those last 17 months, and you'll see how interesting the job content is
: , the pay is still as lousy (they promised me large increases and promotions, haven't seen that happening) and yesterday, something happened that was the drop that made the bucket run over.
I got a phone call from someone working in our Fleet department. The first thought crossing my mind was: I have a speed ticket for driving WAY TOO FAST and I get a personal lecture on driving responsibility yada yada yada instead of one on paper. Nope, I didn't get a speed ticket, she asked me when I was finally going to order my new car?
I guess in the second half of 2009, right? My car is from December 2005, +4 years (they told us the leasing contracts are for 4 years), which makes December 2009 to get a new one. Wrong, apparantly, the contract on mine was only for 2 years, and has been expired since a couple of months
I ask her if they can prolonge the contract, the car doesn't have that much mileage yet, she says it's probably not possible but will inquire, and then I tell her, if a new car must be ordered, that she can order exactly the same one. I don't really feel the need to go out and try every single car, I'm quite happy with the one I have.
She then replies: (and the steam is still coming out of my ears!) that it's impossible with my car budget to get that car. They only gave me this one because it was sitting unused in the pool. W? T? F/H?
I never thought I was going to get emotional over a car, but I did. I was so upset after that conversation yesterday, that I called my mom while crying (from teh client's site, I made a really good impression
)
It's not just the car. It's the fact that I went 6 years to college (including an MBA from a world-leading management school), I have 5 years of work experience. Everyone who has the same profile as I,
- have interesting jobs. It's embarassing for me the tasks I have to do (or not do!), but I can somewhat hide that by telling them an enhanced story about what I have to do at work
- have a decent pay. My pay is embarassing, but since I'm the only one who sees it, I can somewhat hide the emabarassment, and in the meanwhile, I do a lot of jobs on the side to have the funds available to buy the stuff that is somewhat expected (the designer sunglasses, the designer purses, designer shoes, designer clothes, the expensive hobbies, ...)
- get (a chance for) promotions. When last year I got the opportunity to work on an international project within the company, a very prestigious one that would make my name known with the directors in the headquarters, my manager didn't allow me to take this opportunity. He prefered me sitting "on the beach" (meaning you're not deployed to a project, but just sitting in the office, doing nothing, waiting for a project so that you can finally generate some income). This could have been such a step forward for me, but no, I wasn't allowed to do it (I pleaded multiple times, the only thing I didn't do was kiss his feet, maybe I should have done that)
I've gotten a proposal for a new project (this current one ends June30): the tasks consist of planning meetings, making sure there is a meeting room + coffee, making the copies of the agenda + slides, .... A secretary usually does more interesting work than that. "You'll be able to learn so much from it!" Excuse me? That's one of the bigger insults I heard these last couple of years. I won't learn anything + this will not be the project that will lead me to a promotion!
- drive very nice cars. I have a... decent car, not a very nice one, people already ask me if it's normal it's such a "cheap" car I got. But OK, it's still decent, I like it, I'm happy with it. But now they want to set me up with a much smaller car????????? That is just so embarassing. Other people go forward. I go backwards.
I have already for some time a bad feeling about my job. The company in itself isn't too bad, it's our management that sucks. Big time. And now, this car thing, was the thing I needed to finally make the decision: I will look for another job, a job where they value my knowledge and experience. My brother is almost sure he can get me a job at a company I would like to work at, at a decent level, with a more than decent pay and car.
This whole thing makes me sad, stresses me out and makes me somewhat scared.
Sorry to vent/ whine, but I just had to
, do one thing at a time otherwise you will stress yourself, have you got any leave owing to you at your job? if you do take a few days to concentrate on the remodelling of your apartment. I would go for the IBM job its a big jump but I reckon you will enjoy it in the long run. Good luck with whatever you decide
)
by the time I start it will have been about 18 months since I sent off my application
. Even though it is not what my degree is in, it is career in which there are many options to progress.
(even if it did miss a word out
)
