Mother spanking child at the mall.

[stashbin]

A couple years ago I was at Target and a very frustrated "mother" called her 2 year old a very bad word that only adults, or sailors in a barfight call each other. I was so horrified I stopped and stared her down. She threatened to beat me up for getting involved in her business.

I was in the Wal-mart parking lot last year during Christmas and as I was placing my 3 and 6 year old dd's in the buggy this lady was jabbing on her cell phone using every curse word known to man in front of her children, my children, and every other person in hearing distance. She then told the person on the phone to hold on and then proceeded to smack the crap out of her little boy's head (he had to be as young as 3) and yelled at him "I told your little f****** a** to get your stupid little a** in the car!"
My children looked at me and said "mommy!" So I felt forced to say something. After all, my children were looking at me as if to say "do something". So I politely said, "Mam, I am trying to get my children out of earshot of your filthy mouth as fast as I can. No one wants to hear all of that vulgarity coming out of your mouth." I didn't even say anything about her parenting skills but she came after me in that parking lot in front of my kids and I just stood there and told her if she wanted to hit me in front of my children (and hers) then bring it. I guess she started feeling foolish because everyone was staring at her because she stormed back to her car, threw her child in the back seat with no seat belt, and drove away flipping me the bird.
All I could think about was that poor child. I thought maybe I shouldn't have said anything to her, but I felt like I needed to protect my own children from this viper's mouth!

 

[PatsGirl]

I was spanked and my children were spanked, albeit not nearly as often as I was. We are all fine, thank you.

 

[Anewman]

So in short, everyone should discipline their children like you do yours?

Did I say that? I said "personally" and then I said why I don't do it. That doesn't sound like I'm telling anyone else how they should parent to me.

Last sentence in your OP pretty much said you think spanking is bullying and that it should not be done.

You are free to your opinion, but I dont see why you would be surprised when it is addressed.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

When DS was younger we spanked him MAYBE a total of 5 times. Probably less.

I am a nanny. I will not spank my charges, even if the parents say it is OK. This is my career, so I would never risk it by spanking a child. Including DS I have cared for 8 kids over the past 15 years. Not being able to spank has forced me to take the time to discipline with thought instead of just swatting them and moving on. I find that the naughty mat, loss of privileges, and LOTS of discussion work pretty well with the children I have worked with.

Many of the kids I know whose parents spank seem to be learning not to get caught as opposed to learning not to repeat the behavior.

I am not on one side or the other as far as spanking. Spank, don't spank, whatever. Just commenting on my personal observations.

 

[HSMndLKfan92]

There are good parents that spank, and there are good parents that do not spank.
There are BAD parents that spank, and there are BAD parents that do not spank.


Proof is in the pudding.

 

[EthansMom]

Spanking (even in public) does not mean someone is a bad parent... or that their child will end up needing therapy in later years.

If the mothers' treatment of the child was abusive, then the OP should've alerted Security and/or the Police.

 

[JARNJ3]

I grew up being spanked. It was awful. We don't spank.

Same here. I HATED it.

And I remind my father I HATED it whenever the subject comes up. One night he spanked me so hard - I went into a terrible asthma attack. I even told him I HATED him. Obviously I got over it - but I still remember it.

I used to work in a department store - one time I witnessed a 5 year old child be slapped across the face for just talking back to her mother. Kids do that for goodness sake.

I stared at the mother - but that made it worse for the kid, because the kid (girl) was sobbing hysterically, and the mother was then yelling at her for crying.

Unreal. I wish I would have had the nerve to call the cops.

I think spanking in this day and age - at least in public - should be few and far between - thank goodness......

 

[mirmartinez]

I just think it is silly. People should not hit other people (including their children).
Children learn proper behavior through the actions of their caretakers.
Sure, their your kids do what you want. But just because you can does not mean you should.
Heck, there is no law saying you can not spit on your kids, but that doesn't mean you should.

Once again, I do not refer to light taps on the bottom.

 

[chrisw127]

Last sentence in your OP pretty much said you think spanking is bullying and that it should not be done.

You are free to your opinion, but I dont see why you would be surprised when it is addressed.

I think quite often spanking can turn into bullying by a tired, frustrated parent. Not always. I won't say that a light "pat" on the butt is abuse. But too often, people don't stop at a "pat." And that's bullying in my book.

 

[chrisw127]

Spanking (even in public) does not mean someone is a bad parent... or that their child will end up needing therapy in later years.

If the mothers' treatment of the child was abusive, then the OP should've alerted Security and/or the Police.

If you notice, security asked the woman if everything was okay.

 

[ols386]

We were spanked as children, but I never spanked my kids. I did find other ways to discipline them, and I guess it worked, because they both turned out to be pretty nice adults. I think parents have to do what works best for their children and their own situation, as long as it doesn't cross over into abuse.

 

[Mickeyistheman]

We myself, brother and sister were brought up to respect your parents and your elders among other people.

I was "spanked" a few times and then I was punished and had certain things taken away as well. Mind you at the time I thought it was ridiculous. Grounded for 2 weeks no TV, radio, going out with friends etc.

Over the past several years I have seen how my other family members discipline their children.....The time out chair didn't work. Trying to talk it out with a 3 or 4 year old didn't work.

Her one son became very violent in class towards other children, biting, hitting calling them names. Yet where he learned this I have no clue. They are born again Christians and attend church weekly. They are only allowed to watch DVD's things like that.

Then I see my cousin who was NEVER disciplined in any way, she would talk back to her mother and in public! I mean I would have smacked her across her mouth when at 11 told her mother to shut up. We were on line in Macy's, she wanted a very expensive shirt and her mother said no and no and no and my cousin kept going on and on with her. Her mother tried to ignore her and at one point my cousin said she was the worst mother ever, never gave her anything that she wanted. She was a loser and should die.

I'm sorry there was no reasoning with this child at all, if I was her mother and said half those things to me to she would have been slapped sorry.

That is uncalled for. Nothing hard but I am sure most would agree that is very disrespectful and horrible to say to your mother.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

I was spanked as a child, and we spanked our own children. I think we all turned out OK. I agree that when you want to get a quick point across... spanking as an attention getter always worked for us.

As I walk through the malls and stores these days.... sit in Dr. and Dentist offices.... all I can think is that there needs to be SOME kind of discipline applied by today's parents. The argument seems to have moved from spanking vs. not spanking to disciplining vs. not disciplining. The number of children running wild and screaming, or acting rude to their parents and others is just simply overwhelming.

IMO, these children need a swat on the behind. But if you don't believe in spanking, then by all means, apply whatever form of discipline you choose, but get that child under control for his/her safety and that of others!!!

At least the parent the OP spoke of was trying to do something, rather than just letting the child run wild. I guess you can see it both ways.

 

[hentob]

When she openly defies me, I give her a verbal warning but sometimes she ends up physically hurting others (other kids or adults nearby) when she misbehaves and that is when I "spank" her. I never give her more than one pat on the butt or hand.

So you hit her to teach her that hitting is wrong

We don't hit humans or pets. That is just how we are.

Everyone family is different, and I am sure this thread will get pretty

 

[hentob]

I grew up being spanked. It was awful. We don't spank.

 

[kpm76]

I was spanked as a child, and we spanked our own children. I think we all turned out OK. I agree that when you want to get a quick point across... spanking as an attention getter always worked for us.

As I walk through the malls and stores these days.... sit in Dr. and Dentist offices.... all I can think is that there needs to be SOME kind of discipline applied by today's parents. The argument seems to have moved from spanking vs. not spanking to disciplining vs. not disciplining. The number of children running wild and screaming, or acting rude to their parents and others is just simply overwhelming.

IMO, these children need a swat on the behind. But if you don't believe in spanking, then by all means, apply whatever form of discipline you choose, but get that child under control for his/her safety and that of others!!!

At least the parent the OP spoke of was trying to do something, rather than just letting the child run wild. I guess you can see it both ways.

While I agree there are plenty of children who need to be disciplined more effectively, I do not think it is ever appropriate to hit a child. How can we teach them not to hit, bite etc when we do not live by example?

 

[pepperw23]

I was in the Wal-mart parking lot last year during Christmas and as I was placing my 3 and 6 year old dd's in the buggy this lady was jabbing on her cell phone using every curse word known to man in front of her children, my children, and every other person in hearing distance. She then told the person on the phone to hold on and then proceeded to smack the crap out of her little boy's head (he had to be as young as 3) and yelled at him "I told your little f****** a** to get your stupid little a** in the car!"
My children looked at me and said "mommy!" So I felt forced to say something. After all, my children were looking at me as if to say "do something". So I politely said, "Mam, I am trying to get my children out of earshot of your filthy mouth as fast as I can. No one wants to hear all of that vulgarity coming out of your mouth." I didn't even say anything about her parenting skills but she came after me in that parking lot in front of my kids and I just stood there and told her if she wanted to hit me in front of my children (and hers) then bring it. I guess she started feeling foolish because everyone was staring at her because she stormed back to her car, threw her child in the back seat with no seat belt, and drove away flipping me the bird.
All I could think about was that poor child. I thought maybe I shouldn't have said anything to her, but I felt like I needed to protect my own children from this viper's mouth!

See, IMO this "lady" crossed the line from discipline to abuse. I typically mind my own business, but I am not so sure I would have been able to in this case. I mean, this was how this woman acts in public...imagine how she is in private. I guess I will have to break my "no judging other parents rule" on this chick.

Oh to be on topic : We never spanked our two, but I would never judge parents that do. Those parents know what works for their children, and who the heck am I to judge anyone anyway? Okay, I admit I judged the lady mentioned in the post above, but like I said, that is flat out abuse and somebody needed to speak up in that situation.

With my two it probably would have backfired ha ha. They are now 20 and 17 and they are good "kids".

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

While I agree there are plenty of children who need to be disciplined more effectively, I do not think it is ever appropriate to hit a child. How can we teach them not to hit, bite etc when we do not live by example?

When my kids were young and started across the street without looking - they got a pat on the behind to open their eyes. IMO a simple "no-no" at that point would have failed to get the point across. The pat on the behind said that I loved them enough that I did not want to see them get flattened by a car and I told them so. They grin about that to this day. (They are 18 and almost 17!) It's easy to tell the difference between spanking out of love and spanking out of anger, IMO. To each their own.

Biting is a whole 'nuther story. Unacceptable on all counts.

 

[des1954]

I never had children, but I was a child. My parents believed in spanking, but I never remember (1) being struck by them in public - or - (2) being emotionally scarred by being spanked. Then as I got older, the spankings turned to lectures. I remember when I was nine saying to my mom (who was lecturing me at the time) "Mom, can't you just spank me and get this over with?"

I have worked with a lot of kids over the years and discovered that every child's personality is different, and they react to different forms of punishment. Unless I see someone very inappropriately disciplining their child in public, I stay out of it. To me, a spanking done in anger is always inappropriate. The punishment should always fit the crime.

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

I do not spank, but that's because I know for me personally I could easily overdo it. I was spanked as a kid with everything from an open hand to a wooden spoon/spatula to a small tree branch (called switches). I don't think that spanking really does any good and it just teaches kids that hitting is the way to solve problems.

That doesn't mean I don't discipline DS. He gets put in time out if he misbehaves and thankfully, he's pretty well behaved most of the time. Although lately he has been really testing his boundaries. I have to keep reminding myself it is a stage, it's just a stage.