Mostly venting about older teen and Disney

[FredS]

We recently had a wonderful (no pun intended) four-day cruise. Have already booked a seven-day for May, 2004. My sister and her family were 98% of the way to booking on the same cruise. We talked last night and she told me that she was booking with another cruise line for essentially the same period. I tried to tactfully find out why (thinking price might have been the reason and I was willing to coordinate our travel, transfers or whatever it took to save some money to get them on the Magic with us. I finally get from her that her son, 19 "said he is absolutely NOT going on a Disney cruise." She said he wants to be able to drink and have more people his age on the ship.

I am so incredibly ticked off at my nephew that I am having to restrain myself from calling and chewing him out. My sister, her husband and her daughter (my daughter's age) would have a blast, and even the spoiled nearly grown one would enjoy himself. My sister even commented that what he really wants is one of the Carnival "fun ships" where he can drink and party with a lot of college-age kids. Well then send him on one alone!

Okay, like the title said I am mostly venting because I don't think that I can do much to change my nephew's attitude (he has never actually been on a cruise, nor has he ever discussed a Disney cruise with anyone, btw) and my sister would never consider leaving him behind (or not giving him exactly what he wants.) I am very, very disappointed though.

She now wants us to try to coordinate one of our port visits, which will occur on the same day if she books the cruise which she is now considering. Has anyone had any luck with meeting up onshore with people from other ships? (guess that might be the topic for another thread.......)

 

[DisneyNutMary]

19 years old and he wants to drink, that I can understand....but his mother indulging him so he can do something that is illegal in the US for a kid his age, not to mention that indulging him when the rst of the family might want to do something different is ridiculous!

Let him drink and party on Spring Break with his friends, and let him go along with the rest of the family when it is a family vacation...that he is not even paying his own way for (I assume this is true)

I don't mean to get you more inflamed, but this kid is out of control, and it obviously upsets you. And I totally see your point and agree with you.

How about you get the whole family together, including the kids, and everyone discudd the possibility of a big family vacation on the Disney Cruise? Maybe if so many people go along with it, he would change his mind!

 

[phorsenuf]

I know nothing about cruises and I don't know why I even looked at this post , but don't you have to be 21 to drink? I personally would try to get them to change their minds.
Maybe I read this post because I am real steamed at my MIL right now and needed to "see" someone else steaming too! LOL

 

[patches-4]

I KNOW ON THE DISNEY CRUISE HE COULD NOT DRINK BUT IS THE AGE DIFFERENT ON THE CARNIVAL CRUISE, LOWER DRINKING AGE? AS A PARENT OF AN ALMOST 19 YR OLD WHEN WE CRUISE I AM CURIOUS ABOUT THIS. WE DIDN'T HAVE THAT PROBLEM WITH OURS AND HE IS THE ONE WHO REALLY WANTS TO GO WITH DISNEY. IF HE DIDN'T HE WOULD JUST STAY AT HOME BY HIMSELF SINCE WE ARE TH ONES PAYING FOR IT. IF HE WANTS TO PAY FOR IT HIMSELF THEN HE WOULD HAVE A SAY ABOUT WHERE WE WENT. I'M WITH YOU ON THIS ONE.

 

[Cruisin]

FredS:
Is your nephew Canadian. In Ontario the legal drinking age is 19.

They still would not serve him on the cruise ships even if he was "legal" at home.

My son is also 19. He does not drink but he also does not accompany us anymore when we go on Disney Cruises. He stays at home and we take his sister and go.

If he were my kid I would probably say, "Gee, too bad you don't want to come with us. We are going to miss you."

Robin

 

[Cruise]

Just looked on the Carnival website.... guests must be 21 to be served alcohol on board.

Julie

 

[LG123]

Not sure about Carnival but on RCCL you have to be 18 to drink beer and wine and 21 to drink the hard stuff. I am sure that a lot of teens sneak drinks on any cruise and would think it wouldn't be very hard to do that on Disney since you can bring your own. Probably not a good thing to mention to your nephew but just some thoughts. I don't think my parents would have changed vacation plans just because I didn't want to do something. I would have just been elated that we were going on a cruise and my parents were paying for it! Aren't most of the ports 18 to drink anyway?

 

[Belle&TheBeasts]

Your children can only do what you as a parent allow them to do,
I say she books on with you and yours and Disney and either he goes or stays behind with a friend or family..
What does your sisters husband think about it...




Belle

 

[bigsky]

I have to agree. They should go on the cruise that THEY want to. Leave the son behind if he doesn't want to go.

He's too young to drink anyways!!

Laura

 

[AnnMorin]

That would be the day that I would put my son's desire to consume alcohol above the rest of the family. Has anyone suggested the young man get screened for alcoholism? I very much so enjoy my wine but I can not fathom at 18 telling my parents that we needed to vacation where I could imbibe. (that atually would have unfortuneate results if I even mentioned drinking at such a young-and illegal age) oh well to each their own. If it were my son I would tell him he could stay home and goodbye.. actually if he was so fixated on drinking I probably would not let him stay at my home while I was gone as I would be afraid as to the state I would return to . I would send him off to the grandparents for a week... a week of them and he REALLY would want to drink

 

[Rob1559]

Leave him behind. That will make it easier to save money, plus they won't have to listen to him whine. Bluntly ask why they have to change their plans because he wants to drink? He sounds a little slef-centered to me. Convince them to have fun on their own.

 

[videogal1]

I suppose they could leave him behind if he left enough money in an account to bail him out for a DUI or other trouble he might get into unattended. If he has enough to throw away gambling, then using his disposable funds as insurance against any expensive misbehavior might curb his selfish behavior.

This jerk sounds like a good candidate for being locked up until he 's in his 30's...less than that and he will surely ruin his life..or someone else's with his thoughtless behavior...

 

[susy]

Well, it would be a cold day in you-know-where before I would let a drunk decide where I will vacation! I would just tell him that if he was in such a big hurry to get drunk, why wait? Get to it!

Your sister is really being silly. I would not encourage ANYBODY to get drunk on a cruise ship- I had a hard time walking in my heels and nearly went over the railing (it was windy)... can you imagine someone who is drunk? Not my child , no way!

 

[CRSNDSNY]

Originally posted by FredS
I finally get from her that her son, 19 "said he is absolutely NOT going on a Disney cruise." She said he wants to be able to drink and have more people his age on the ship.

My sister even commented that what he really wants is one of the Carnival "fun ships" where he can drink and party with a lot of college-age kids. Well then send him on one alone!

Would it even be legal for him to drink on a Carnival line?

Edited to say I found the answer above.

I am sad for this boy.

 

[CamColt]

The way I see it, the kid is a typical 19 yo. Most college age kids are interested in going out partying and Disney does not fit that description to them. Even myself(a major Disney fan) at 19 would have been much happier staying home than going to WDW with my parents. In fact I did, LOL!
I dont think you should be mad at him. What I think is wrong is the parents putting him above the rest of the family. If that were my son I would tell him fine, go partying on your dime, but the family is going on the Disney cruise. You are welcome to come, but if you dont want to thats fine too. I dont think you should all have to suffer because an "adult" doesnt want to go on a family vacation.
Good luck! I hope this does work out for you.

 

[Minnesota]

I am 22 now and have been going to WDw or DCL every year since I graduated HS and personally can't fathom why he would be so picky about something he clearly does not know about. There are more college age people onboard than I thought there would be when I first went.

I would definetly leave him home then gloat with all the great pictures you would bring back. In my family we didn't get any say in where we went on vacation until we started footing the bill for some ourselves. We would only get to have a say in the little things like shore excursions for instance, not which cruise line or destination we were going.

Last if I told my parents that I wanted to go some place where I could drink even at 22 they would probably go nuts. They are fine with me drinking a glass of wine or going to a wine tasting or something but picking your vacation on beverage choice?!

Anyways there is my soap box opinion.
Minnesota
PS I am booked on another cruise this winter and can't wait to plan the next one.

 

[kidzmom3]

Perhaps she is using her son as an "excuse". Maybe they really do have a financial issue with the Disney cruise and cannot afford it. Even with "help" which may or may not be appreciated. This may be a case of someone trying to save face. If its not your child, let it go. Enjoy your own cruise and let the boys parents worry about him. A lot of the responses have been rather harsh for a 19 year old boy. I do not agree that a person of his age should make the decision for a family vacation (especially if drinking is his only criteria), but I do think his opinion could be solicited. My DH and I make the final decision of vacation choices, but we do ask our childrens opinions.

 

[FredS]

While I understand accommodating our kids and wanting them to be happy, I fully believe that at some point my sister will realize that she is bending over backwards for the wrong reasons. Unfortunately the rates continue to increase and I expect by the time she has her epiphany it will be too expensive to make a change.

I don't know, I guess I should just chalk this up as an example of how you can give your kids too much and make sure I don't make a similar mistake in the future. If I can just restrain myself from smacking my nephew (who is at least 6' 4") next time I see him and giving him a lecture.........he's not a rotten kid, but is still pretty self-centered (apparently!) I was really looking forward to spending this time as an extended family (which we don't do often) and I know my sister was, also. We are both planners and half the fun would be in discussing it for the next several months.

Hopefully we can still have our joint cruise in the not-too-distant future.

 

[patches-4]

COULD YOU GET HER TO GO AHEAD AND BOOK AT THE SAME TIME AS YOURS SINCE IT IS GOING TO BE LESS NOW THAN LATER, AND SINCE SHE COULD STILL CANCEL AT THE 60 MARK SHE WOULDN'T BE OUT ANYTHING IF THEY DEFINATELY DECIDE NOT TO GO THEN? THAT WAY IF SHE AND THE REST OF THE FAMILY CAN CONVINCE THE SON TO GO WITH THEM OR IF THEY DECIDE TO GO ON WITHOUT HIM THEY WILL HAVE THE LESSER RATE AND WILL STILL BE WITH THE REST OF THE FAMILY AND WILL ENJOY THEMSELVES WITH YOUR FAMILY.

 

[Belle&TheBeasts]

Fred,
Two things...
One is...Your a better person than I am, LOL,
and
two....what goes around, comes around....
Unfortunaely your nephew will find out someday....





Hope your trip is good with out them....Keep positive