Mostly venting about older teen and Disney

[DisneyGator01]

see, that boy's mindset is exactly why I DON'T cruise carnival, and why I DO cruise Disney.

Well if he is looking to drink, he'll definitely find a lot of drunks and drinking on a Carnival Cruise.

 

[Buckaroo's Dad]

my sister would never consider leaving him behind (or not giving him exactly what he wants.)

Based upon that statement, your sister is the one who would benefit from an intervention. A parent's responsibility is to define and set boundaries for their child(ren). Anything less is nothing...

 

[webray]

If this kid was mine...he would get left home in a heatbeat...although..I am not sure he could be trusted to be left a lone...sounds like he needs a babysitter to me.

 

[AliceInDisWunderland]

And claps for BD's dad....that is EXACTLY my point!
Kids can only do what we allow them to do....

 

[DMS_cruisers04]

Disneygator, this is the second post I've seen where you keep pointing out to everyone that all the cruisers on CCL are drunks and all there is to do is drink. Nothing could be farther from the truth. MY FAMILY and I were just on a Carnival cruise in September, and there were no "drunks" on board. I've seen more drunks at Pleasure Island.
It is just as easy to see a drunk aboard a Disney cruise as a Carnival cruise, or has Disney recently stopped serving alcohol?
As far as Fred's sister is concerned, a completely agree with BD. Someone need to tell her son to get a clue. If he's only 19, he isn't drinking no matter what cruiseline he goes on.

 

[aprilgail2]

Originally posted by DMS_cruisers04
Disneygator, this is the second post I've seen where you keep pointing out to everyone that all the cruisers on CCL are drunks and all there is to do is drink. Nothing could be farther from the truth. MY FAMILY and I were just on a Carnival cruise in September, and there were no "drunks" on board. I've seen more drunks at Pleasure Island.
It is just as easy to see a drunk aboard a Disney cruise as a Carnival cruise, or has Disney recently stopped serving alcohol?
As far as Fred's sister is concerned, a completely agree with BD. Someone need to tell her son to get a clue. If he's only 19, he isn't drinking no matter what cruiseline he goes on.

Last carnival cruise I took I compare to a 7 day frat party....I had never experienced anything like it! I would never cruise with them again based on that one Carnival cruise I took! Back then I drank alcohol (I think I had 3 drinks the whole cruise) but I really was turned off by the amount of people drinking way way to much and acting like morons on that cruise.

 

[CRSNDSNY]

Originally posted by aprilgail2
Last carnival cruise I took I compare to a 7 day frat party....I had never experienced anything like it!

That's exactly why DH and I (25 & 28 at the time) chose Disney in the first place! We new it wouldn't be a 24/7 drink-fest!

 

[cjsmith]

In my opinion, your anger, if you feel the right to have some, should be directed at your sister and not your nephew. After all, your sister doesn't seem to find fault with the fact that her son wants to go on another cruise line so that he can drink. It's her responsiblity as the parent here to give guidance to her child and tell him NO, you are not old enough to drink. She is obviously fine with her decision and is making it okay for her underage child to drink while on a cruise. As the parent, it's her right to overide his wishes and do what the whole family wants, and she is again chosing not to do that. Maybe she just wasn't as into DCL as you were hoping she was. Maybe the extra expense of Disney is more than she can either afford or justify.
While I can say that I love DCL which is why I'm taking our 4 cruise in less than 2 years, I can understand why a 19 year old wouldn't be that thrilled possibly with going on one. There probably are more kids his age on some of the other cruise lines and maybe the rockclimbing walls, skating rinks, etc. are are offered on the other cruise lines are more to his liking. Or maybe it's not really your nephew's fault and she is just using him as an excuse so as to to offend you with her choice of another cruise line. Either way, be happy that you're going on DCL and hopefully you can hook up at one of the ports.
And by the way, on our June 7th DCL cruise, many parents on our cruise were with their kids at Carlos and Charlies watching their young teenagers great stinking drunk. We also saw a couple of the boys back on board later getting sick
from overdrinking. And these kids were under 18. Kids can drink anywhere, where there is a will, there's a way after all.

 

[Tesabat]

Major cruise lines lower age for drinking, gambling

Washington Post

Alert to near-adults, and those who finance their trips: Several major cruise lines have changed age rules for drinking and gambling within the last year. Royal Caribbean, for example, lowered the age to consume wine and beer from 21 to 18 on all but its Alaska cruises. Here's a primer of cruise line rules:

• Must be 21 to drink and gamble: Norwegian, Holland America, Princess, Seabourn and Silversea. (Disney also sets 21 as the drinking age, but has no casinos.)

• 21 to drink, 18 to gamble: Carnival.

• 18 to drink wine and beer only, 21 to gamble: Crystal.

• 18 to drink wine and beer; 18 to gamble: Royal Caribbean, Celebrity.

• 18 to drink and gamble: Radisson Seven Seas, Orient.

Don't assume that cruises will be rowdier if the line allows young gamblers to drink. Many lines, including Royal Caribbean, Celebrity and Carnival, require that one person per cabin be at least 25 if a cabinmate is under 21, except for married couples. The lowered drinking ages apply only outside U.S. waters.

Cruise lines that have adjusted age limits downward say it's in response to growing numbers of international customers. The United States' drinking age is shared by few countries.

 

[DisneyGator01]

Okay I admit it, I'm biased. I like Disney Cruise best.. so sue me That was just both my experiences on Carnival, no other cruise line I have been on had quite the "party" atmosphere as CCL did. Needless to say, party ship is Carnival's repretation--in my experience they live up to it.

Anyway, I've outgrown that. Hopefully this kid will outgrow it too. He's 19--too young to drink, but old enought to sure as heck wanna do it. I just choose DCL now, because I'd rather share my ship with people on a relaxing, yet fun family atmosphere vacation--rather then the Frat house Goest to Vegas atmosphere.

 

[crisi]

So if taking a vacation with your sister is so important - why not join her on her cruise?

Seems to me taking another family vacation on a Disney cruise is important to you. Seeing your sister and her family is secondary, or you'd just switch cruise lines, or find another vacation everyone would enjoy.

And for your sister, taking a family vacation - with her 19 year old son who is an adult and can decide to go or not go - is important,
seeing you is of secondary importance.

This isn't a twelve year old throwing a tantrum, the kid is 19 and has a right to his opinion - even if he can't drink.

 

[jgalecpa]

Interesting opinions by all.

My two cents:

One thing I would never do is leave this particular 19 yo alone in my house while I was away for one Night.

Imagine what would be going on in that house while you were away.

Jim

 

[MrsPete]

I must agree with the majority of the posters:

Unless he's footing the bill (and you didn't mention him playing pro basketball, so that's unlikely), the 19 year old doesn't have a say-so in the family's vacation plans.

The legal drinking age is still 21 on Carnival cruises. I do not admire the parenting skills of anyone who would choose a vacation just so her child could break the law with ease.

If you sister wants to do the Disney Cruise, I'd recommend booking it -- without him.

 

[ducklite]

I have a son who is almost 18. He is a HUGE Disney fan. he LOVED the Magic cruise we took when he was 16. But we probably won't cruise with him again on DCL for quite a few years to come.

At 18 he can no longer particpate in Common Grounds. He doesn't drink, it's not even an option due to several medications which he must take daily. He hates cigarette smoke, so wouldn't enjoy any of the bars.

So that leaves him with the small pools, the arcade, the health club, and not much else. Not exactly enough to fill his days.

We are looking at other lines, RCCL is a possibility due to activities like the skating rink and rock wall. Or maybe we will choose a vacation other than a cruise.

I think she's choosing another cruise line for all the wrong reasons, but I can also see why the family might not want to cruise DCL.

Anne

 

[FredS]

Originally posted by crisi
So if taking a vacation with your sister is so important - why not join her on her cruise?

Seems to me taking another family vacation on a Disney cruise is important to you. Seeing your sister and her family is secondary, or you'd just switch cruise lines, or find another vacation everyone would enjoy.

And for your sister, taking a family vacation - with her 19 year old son who is an adult and can decide to go or not go - is important,
seeing you is of secondary importance.

This isn't a twelve year old throwing a tantrum, the kid is 19 and has a right to his opinion - even if he can't drink.

Well, that's an, um, interesting overly simplistic characterization of the situation. It isn't a math formula, it's many, many factors and human relationships. While my sister might be considering doing what her son wants despite her strong desire to do otherwise, I most certainly am not willing to make all the adjustments necessary to accommodate his not very well informed demands. Your labeling of primary/secondary psychobabble is waaay off.

P. S. The situation has evolved further into scheduling yet another vacation for our extended family. I am staying quiet on this one, especially since my sister specifically commented that she hopes, if her son participates, he won't "act like a jerk since he's not really into the family things." I hope it doesn't take too long for his behavior to get so demanding that she will come to her senses.

 

[jlawall]

I sailed this past summer with a 19DD and she complained quite a bit about the lack of peers on the ship. We are planning on going again next summer with her. She did enjoy getting a tan on the top deck and swimming in the adult pool. Common grounds was too young for her and that group didn't interest her this summer. (Her sisters had a good time there.) On the foreign ports she was permitted to drink and she did alittle. We went on a party boat and Carlos and Charlies and had alot of laughs. I would rather drink with her once in a blue moon than have her see it as the forbidden fruit and drink behind my back. It was a vacation and we weren't driving or putting anyone in harm's way. To me, leaving her home at that age is more of a concern. It is still a family vacation and you have to find the middle ground with this age group. Next summer, I hope she goes to the spa more and enjoys the services there. She can also work out in the fitness room. Personally, I would rather do what we did on DCL, than take my whole family on a "party" cruise for a vacation.

 

[Memaw2Wm]

Originally posted by ducklite
At 18 he can no longer particpate in Common Grounds. He doesn't drink, it's not even an option due to several medications which he must take daily. He hates cigarette smoke, so wouldn't enjoy any of the bars.Anne

That's a shame that there isn't a special place for the 18-20 y.o. crowd to hang out. Seems to me they should be allowed in Common Grounds as they can't drink.

 

[ducklite]

I'm not sure that Common Grounds is the right place for them either. If I had a 13 year old, I would NOT want them mingling with a 20 year old. I almost think that mybe they should have two seperate places/sets of activities, one for 13-16 year olds and another for 17-20 year olds.

There are more things for the 18-20 year old young ladies to do. The spa, tea, tanning by the pool. None of these interest the average 18-20 year old young man. They are truly the lost demographic on DCL.

Anne

 

[padisneyfan]

As I have stated many time, the 18-20 year old group is the lost group on the majority of cruiselines. They are such a small percentage of the cruising public, that the cruise lines don't really have activities for this group. Even CCL as we have traveled this past May with our 19yr old DS. Maybe Spring Break has more of that age group. However, with college Spring Breaks being all different times that could be hit and miss.

This past year our oldest son who was 20 did not go on our family vacation with us for various reasons. So we went without him. I would have preferred that he came along, but more to help entertain his 19 year old brother. As a single late teenage male, a cruise ship with just your parents can be boring. He enjoyed the ports of calls and slept away the sea day. All of us had a good time, but he was more than glad to be back home. Plus I was tired of trying to entertain him.

We plan to try RCCL Mariner of the Sea in May 2004. It will probably be our last family cruise with our sons who will be 20 and 21 at that time. There does seem to be more activites that they could do such as mini golf and rock climbing. Plus the 20 year old can drink wine or beer on that cruise, so if he wants to go to the nightclubs with his brother he won't be breaking any laws if he drinks. Until you have children in this age group, it is difficult to relate to them.

For 9 months out of the year, my sons are living independently at college. All of us who have experienced what happens when they come back home can relate to where I am coming from. Now imagine that you are all together in a small stateroom for 7 days. If you think it is bad to be in a house with them, try spending 7 days with unhappy young adults (yes 18-20 year olds are considered adults) on a ship. I can see why someone would be relucent to force someone to go on a family vacation and look at other alternatives.

 

[Johnnie Fedora]

Originally posted by FredS
She now wants us to try to coordinate one of our port visits, which will occur on the same day if she books the cruise which she is now considering. Has anyone had any luck with meeting up onshore with people from other ships?

I wouldn't cancel any shore exursions or almost any of my other port plans for this "meeting". At the last minute, the 19yo may want to go jet skiing, bar hopping, or shopping while hung over.