More on my friends MIL

[Sonya]

My friend who is expecting twins in July has a pushy MIL. I posted earlier how her in-laws said no one could keep them out of the delivery room and they were bringing a camera! (Expressly against the wishes of my friend and her wonderful DH who stood up to his mom). My friend told her MIL that they wouldn't be calling her until the babies were already born, THATS how she would be kept out!

Anyway, now they can't even discuss names civily. MIL says "So what are your name choices so we can all vote on them? Here are the names I suggest..." Like it's a democracy? I told her to tell them that they had already named their kids and now it's her turn, not MIL. Every time her MIL brings this up she just says "I am not discussing this with you".

This is why we are "naming" our kid Thor!

 

[Serena]

That MIL is really bad.

 

[Keli]

Whoa! That is just the type of MIL that I never intend to be! I think your friend is probably handling it the best way she can but I don't guess there's a good way to make people butt out of your life.

 

[Gillian]

I love the name Thor! We told our families that we were naming our first child Gunther, boy or girl. Some of them actually believed us We did ask my neice & nephew for lists of their favorite names & put them in our scrapbook. We took all suggestions, but did not discuss them!

At my hospital they asked who you planned to have in the delivery room. I would think you could speak with the nurses/midwife/Dr and request that only certain people be allowed in the room. There are also sometimes limits to the # of people.

 

[holycow]

I was just talking with my friend yesterday...she has a young co worker who is preggo....and her DMIL told this young girl...oh, you shouldn't have an epidural...you should have the baby natural...my DF and I were just fuming!...(we each have 3 children and are all for drugs!LOL) anyway the things she keeps telling me is just so sad!.

..This is making me sad too!...I just hope all turns out like your friend wants the delivery to...It is hard enough worrying about going through labor but then having to worry about the antics of your ILs!! ...just such a shame!..

Holycow

 

[s&k'smom]

I used to tell my MIL (God rest her soul) that if it was a boy he was going to be called Elvis and if it was a girl, Gidget. My mom even had that put on my cake at the shower. I hope it works out for your friend. Keep us posted.

 

[suzannen]

Feel bad for your friend, there is always enough things to worry about in pregnancy without interfering in-laws. I told my MIL my Dr had a rule about the number of people allowed in the labor room (Dr was willing to write me a note!) and also that since we knew the sex of our baby (a girl), the name was going to be the big surprise when the baby was born, so I couldn't discuss it beforehand. I told her if there was a name she liked to let me know and we'd consider it. Luckily, she was pretty good about it all and dropped it. Your friend's doesn't sound like she'll let things go, though.

 

[olena]

I'm really beginning to feel for your friend.

 

[maleficent1959]

OMG your poor friend! If her MIL is that bad now she will be heck on wheels when the babies are born.

Our lamaze instructor kept reiterating that the delivery nurses were very good at keeping unwanted people out of the delivery room and didn't mind being the bad guys. We were supposed to tell our nurse who was allowed in (if anyone). Maybe that will work for your friend if MIL shows up at the hospital.

Although I would probably call after the babies were born and I had a chance to rest... She could just say "it happened so fast"

 

[nativetxn]

What a pushy MIL this woman has, I hope if I ever get the chance to have a daughter-in-law I won't be bad like that.

I would just let my MIL talk all she wants about names and choose the names I want. Just because people vote it doesn't mean their candidate is going to be elected.

I wouldn't tell her about labor until well after the babies are born. It sounds like that would just give your friend a more relaxed birthing experience.

 

[jel0511]

I have a pushy MIL, so I know where your friend is coming from. I had to have an emergency c-section with my DD, due to pre-eclampsia. Basically, I went to the Dr's one day and they said, that's it go to the hospital. Well, I had told DH and called my mom, and told her to just stay home, since I knew the c-section wasn't going to happen until late in the evening, and I didn't want her waiting around, and I probably wouldn't want to see anyone anyway until the next morning. I told DH to tell his mom the same thing. Well guess who shows up at the hospital... You got it MIL and crew!!! I just wanted to be able to relax after having MAJOR surgery and everything, but oh well... Now, it get worse... Hubby is Jewish and I'm Methodist. We had decided LONG before DD was born that we wouldn't be doing any religious ceremonies after our child's birth, because we wanted our child to be able to make an educated decision about which faith they wanted to follow. Well MIL knew about this, but what does she do not 2 days after DD is born. Gets in contact with her local synagoge and makes arrangements to have the Jewish naming ceremony. After we say, we're not comfortable with that, her response... "Tell Lori she doesn't have to come if she's uncomfortable!!!!" I wasn't even invited to a ceremony for my daughter... I could go on and on, but it will never end. My advice for your friend is to do what EVER she wants!!! If she doesn't want to call her until after the babies are born, good for her!!! Name the children whatever she wants!!! This is her children and her MIL is trying to get a little too involved in my opinion!!! I should know, I have one too!!!

 

[Sonya]

My friend is pretty good about speaking her mind (now) and they both realize that they have to put their foot down NOW, or else it will get worse. Thank goodness her DH will stand up to his mom! And the 1st thing she said she asked the Dr next time she went in was "How can I keep my MIL out?" The Dr said no problem, the nurses will do that.
Well that's one less worry, anyway. I wonder what is next?

Lori, I can't believe your MIL!!!!!

 

[hercamore]

Jeez, unbelievable!

I suppose she'll want to come and stay with your friend and dh and "help" with the baby after it's born.


Herc.