Mood During Pregnancy and Child's Personality?

[becka]

I am starting to think that either a mother's mood during her pregnancy causes her child's personality to be a certain way or the other way around.

I was so happy when I was pregnant with DS. I was of course a little scared but I really felt great most of the time. I LOVE being pregnant even with the discomfort (which thankfully was not that bad with DS). That pregnacy was actually not even a very healthy one and I ended up with pre-eclampsia but still I was quite happy. DS is now a very outgoing, fun, happy child. He very occassionally gets in a bad mood but that is a very rare occurrence. He was a wonderful baby with no colic and just a very easy going disposition. He is just so much fun to be around.

Now my pregnancy with DD (while very healthy) was much rougher on me physically (morning sickness, heartburn, every kind of discomfort known to woman, etc.) and I really suffered from bad mood swings and at one point I could probably have even been declared clinically depressed. I was pretty miserable most of the time. I really wanted that pregnancy and I was very happy when I found out I was expecting her. I honestly expected to love being pregnant with her as well but I didn't. Well now I have a DD who seems to suffer from EXTREME mood swings. She had colic as a baby and she throws some exteme temper tantrums. She is much more needy, demanding, and just plain unhappy far too much of the time IMHO especially when compared to DS. I love her just as much as DS and I would never trade her in but she is just a much more difficult personality to deal with.

That just got me wondering if maybe my moods while pregnant had an effect on their little personalities (nothing like adding another log to the fire that is mommy guilt ) or if maybe their personalities very early on influenced what kind of a pregnancy I had.

Has anyone seen anything like this with their own kids? Obviously this is not a scientific poll but I was just curious.

 

[lbgraves]

Well, I can see how that could make sense. DS was an easy pregnancy, one day of illness, and we were both very happy (though the chemical balance when I am pregnant is off so I had to take something for a short time each time). DS is an easy going kid. He is mature & can be trusted. DD on the other hand was a hard pregnancy. I think that I wasn't ill that time for maybe a week total. I was happy but then I was also busy with DS (who was so easy at 13 months when we were pregnant with DD). DD has always given us a run for our money. I was looking forward to being pregnant again but it wasn't the same as it had been with DS. I couldn't just sit & enjoy feeling her move whenever it happened like I did with DS.

 

[lynetteSC]

maybe you are on to something ... ds is adopted and has SERIOUS tantrums. i am sure his birthmom was not as excited and upbeat to be pregnant as most happily married women.

 

[Marseeya]

My experience was the exact opposite. I enjoyed being pregnant with DS and was just all around content. He was fine and happy as a baby and toddler, but he's a holy terror now, and has been since he was around 3.

I had a miserable pregnancy with DD. I was flat out MEAN and nasty. DH was frightened of me. I like to say that I must have sucked the mean right out of DD, because she's the sweetest and most even-tempered kid you'd ever want to meet.

 

[Kath2003]

That's quite a good theory!

No idea myself of course except for one little story for y'all:

I HATE peas.
Like, even as a baby, if my mush had peas in it, I'd refuse to eat it. It's the one food I've *consistantly* disliked to such a degree.
I can taste them even in curry/veggie burgers etc. and they are disgusting.

...yet when Mum was pregnant with me, she craved peas....

 

[Keli]

Becka, I honestly doubt there is any correlation. It's probably just coincidence (who gets two easy-going kids in a row? LOL).

Of course even though I think that I will admit my pregnancy with dd was extreemly easy and she was a very easy going baby and child (we won't talk about the teen years, suffice to say you wouldn't use the words "easy-going" to describe my dd during that time!)

 

[lbgraves]

maybe you are on to something ... ds is adopted and has SERIOUS tantrums. i am sure his birthmom was not as excited and upbeat to be pregnant as most happily married women.

Goodness! You just made me remember about a friend of the family's kid. When I was growing up we knew them. The parents had seperated but dated one night & she ended up pregnant. She did NOT want that baby because it meant that he wouldn't leave her. They were Catholic so she had to have it. She made herself trip, fall down the stairs, whatever she could do to try to lose the baby. He was born & I swear his baby picture looked like a little imp. He broke both of his legs crawling in the yard at 8 months & was in a double cast for a while. As he got older he did terrible things & was finally admitted for psyciatric care. I always felt sorry for him because he didn't ask to be born.

 

[3princesses4us]

You know what's funny? We have always thought about that and about how each of their births reflects their now personality.
With DD#1, the birth was long, painful, a week overdue and she was stubborn and didn't want to come out. Guess what? She is my most stubborn, strong willed child. She also gave me the most morning sickness but I love her dearly and will admit she's the most like me.
DD#2 on the other hand came 10 days early in a matter of 5 1/2 hours and just flew out (same weight as DD#1 though). She is my sensitive child who is very concerened with everyone's happiness. And wouldn't you know, no morning sickness with her.
DD#3 is somewhere in between. I thought the births would just get faster and easier but she took about 8 hours. Still much better than #1 but not as fast and painless as #2. She is a relatively happy child but will have moments of sheer and utter tantrums (we joke it's the red hair on this one).
This has to be coincidence right?

 

[disney4us2002]

Not true in my case. I had three nearly identical pgs. I mean I felt the first movements at the same time, gained weight throughout each pg at the same intervals, they measured the same (tape measure of the belly), they were all taken by c's 2 wks early and all weighed within 4 oz of each other - yet they are three completely different personality types and were almost from birth. My middle son was born with "middle child syndrome" - no kidding!!

 

[PeterPanette]

As for pregnancy affecting personalities, I'm not too sure. While pregnant with my first son, I was heartbroken, miserable, and suicidally depressed. I just knew he would be born with ulcers. But, he was a ray of sunshine when he was born, very sweet and good natured, never gave me a moment's trouble (until he was 18!), and a natural comedian and charmer who could talk the birds out of the trees. I enjoyed every second of his childhood (and still enjoy him). He's a free spirit, any way the wind blows kind of guy, and still hasn't figured out quite what he wants to do with his life.

While pregnant with my 2nd son, I was so content and happy and peaceful. He was born a little wild child who wore me out trying to chase him everywhere. He hated riding in the car, hated going to restaurants, etc., and wasn't shy about making his displeasure known. He was constantly getting notes sent home by his teachers. But, he's extremely focused, knows exactly what he wants and goes out and gets it. And though he tries to hide it, he has a deeply loving, nurturing side. And, now, at 21, he has more than made up to me for every ounce of trouble he gave me as a kid. (Not that he had to! I loved and enjoyed him just as he was!)

With that being said, I do strongly believe that the baby helps determine your appetite during pregnancy. With my first son, I craved BBQ, pickles, anything sour. I even had a bizarre, unrelenting craving for pickled pig's feet! And, until then, I had never eaten one or even thought about eating one. Yuck!! I don't think I ate a vegetable during that entire pregnancy, except for pickles. Well, guess what his diet has always been? He refuses to eat vegetables, and loves BBQ.

During my 2nd pregnancy, I craved veggies constantly, very little meat, and I stopped using table salt, altogether. Also completely gave up Cokes and drank only water. I didn't consciously try to eat this healthy, I only followed my cravings. Well, this son loves veggies to this day, and rarely drinks soft drinks. Also, he's never shown an interest in drinking alcohol of any kind, and scolds my older son for drinking!

So, who knows?

Charlene

 

[Texan Mouseketeer]

In my case I'd have to say it was almost the other way around. I didn't cause my kids' personalities, but I knew their personalities before they were born if that makes sense. My DS kicked all night long and always kept me awake. He moved around and fidgeted constantly and had hiccups all the time. Well, he's the high strung type A personality all the way. I didn't think much of it at the time since he was my first, but when my DD came along, I knew right away that she was different. I could tell by the way she was that she'd be laid back and relaxed and so far she is! Not very scientific I know, but that's how it worked out for me.

 

[minkydog]

Nahhh, I had 3 easy pregnancies--oh, i had plenty of morning sickness, but nothing that put me in the hospital. I was on bedrest for premature labor at times during all three labors, but never dilated so, yay! All three kids were born at term and had very different personalities. DS19 is my most uptight, perfectionistic, serious, depressive kid. DD13is my go-with-the-flow middle child. and DS11 just loves everybody and everybody loves him. I think it has more to do with birth order, myself

 

[poohandwendy]

I think personality is part inherited (via DNA) and part environmentally influenced by our experiences in life. I do not believe there is a correlation between the mothers state of mind during pregnancy and the childs basic personality. I think the only thing that affects children during pregnancy is physiological influence, ie substance abuse and medical conditions. In the same token, I think pregnant women's moods can be affected by the physiological changes of pregnancy, but that it has nothing to do with the specific baby she is carrying and more to do with the physical state of pregnancy and how she reacts to those changes.

I think we tend to crave explanations and seek parallels (human nature), to make sense of things we cannot understand or control.


JMHO

 

[Cool-Beans]

I don't believe it...but I'd like to. Kinda like astrolgoy.

I had lots of different feelings while pregnant, just like when I'm not. There wasn't any difference in me, except that toward the end I was fat and uncomfortable!

Both kids are very different. Although I craved Mr. Hero with one and Stouffer's Lasagna with the other! Maybe THAT'S it!

 

[goofy's friends]

I hate to burst your bubble (theory), but my 3 darlings are the products of the same type of pregnancies----extreme morning sickness for the first half and utter excitement over every movement the second half.

They are all very unique, but I can see tendencies toward birth order stereotypes.

It is funny though because I can look back and see thier personalities in utero. The oldest was the strongest kicker and she has the strongest will ever!!! The middle one was the roller and even now rolls with the punches and is usually laughing about it The last, well, we'll say he was the most active (all over the place, all the time) and now he is probably ADHD (not diagnosed) and has a hard time sleeping and controling himself.