Money for Report Cards

[dbmarie]

Our dd8 teacher sent us email about how we should reward our dd for doing her best and not for S's. I feel this isnt' encouraging her to do her best. I don't know if I'm wrong or not. What do you think?

 

[mjkacmom]

I don't give money for report cards. Why should I reward one child for an A they earned easily, and not another child who worked their butt off. We just take everyone out to dinner.

 

[SLK1]

We don't give money for grades either. You should do your best in school, period, not for money. Good grades are expected (good is relative to each child, too).

 

[dbmarie]

I guess my thought is that as adults we have to work hard to obtain bonuses or promotions. In the real world it doesn't matter if you had to work harder then the other person to get the bonus or promotion.

 

[liznboys]

We don't give money for grades either. You should do your best in school, period, not for money. Good grades are expected (good is relative to each child, too).

Ditto.

 

[scrapquitler]

Well I EXPECT them to make a good effort and do their best. We go out and celebrate a good report card by going to Chuck E Cheese, of out for ice cream or something like that. I don't pay for grades.

Think of this: Some kids can get straight As without making much effort at all (like my DD, who when she was in school would not study, barely do homework and get straight As with wonderful comments). Other kids might work really hard, struggle and do their best, but only get C's. Why should one of those kids get rewarded more than the other one??

 

[bookgirl]

I think paying for grades is a slippery slope and I'm glad I don't have to do it. Rewards are great, but cash can come back and bite you in the butt when they decide they need a raise.

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

I pay my kids.

$10 for each A they bring home. Nothing for B's. This is on semester report cards-they get one in dec and one in may. Straight A's on a may report card mean they get a bonus that they get to decide, on top of the $10/a. Some years they've made it, some years they haven't. It lets them know that how hard they work decides how much they get-gives them control of their performance. If they choose not to work hard, then their reward is commensurate.

Both children are capable of making A's.


The harder/smarter you work, the more money you are paid in real life as adults.

DH and I think that it makes sense to model this with education.

After all, nobody goes to work for the fun of it, and nobody goes to middle school for the fun of it, either.

The funniest part is one kid is a saver and all of her money from grades goes into savings, the other one gets her hands on the money and it's burning a hole in her pocket like mother, like daughter.

FWIW, we do require them to save some of it. It just takes more convincing with the younger one.

 

[tmarquez]

We don't pay for grades, but I think your DD's teacher should mind her own business and leave the parenting to you guys.

When I was a kid if we got straight A's, we got to choose any place we wanted to go out to eat.

 

[tloveswdw]

Part of your job as a child is doing your best in school. We will not pay for grades, and I have really never seen that as a best motivator, (I was a 7th grade teacher, DH is 7th grade teacher and coach)...

I think grades, and basic picking up, helping... well, it is part of being a family, and a productive person.

The smartest people in the world are not all the wealthiest, or best paid. Nor, are the hardest workers....

Money isn't everything.

 

[2disneyboys]

We don't actually pay them for grades, but we do allow them to earn "perks" with better grades (and yes, we weigh the grades. a b to one son is the same as a d to another.) Perks are things like being able to pick where we go for dinner, or what we make, or which movie out of x,y or z to see at the theatre etc. It's also relevent to the child. each child is motiviated a different way. I think it's important to help young children understand that hard work = something, money, perks, incentives. Now, the hard job is going to be when they are older, teaching them that hard work = rewards... most of the time... sometimes life is not fair and you can work as hard as you want and still get the short straw. all this parenting stuff... yikes

I do think it's TACKY for the teacher to tell you how to motivate your child nothing wrong with some general suggestions, but specifically? nah... leave that to the parents.

 

[dawnbu40]

We always taught our DD that school was her "job". Adults get rewarded at their jobs so I feel kids should too. I do not see it as bribery rather as a reward for achievement. (it doesn't have to be money could be night out with mom or dad etc) When students hit senior year they begin to see that colleges also "reward" good grades-with scholarships! My DD is now in college and earning straight A's and has received many scholarships so she is still being rewarded for good grades, just not from her parents.

 

[cglaura]

I took a different angle, I wanted dd to love learning, so didn't feel a rewards based approach worked for our family. I wanted her to do a good job, because you should always do your best regardless of the payout.

We homeschool though, so our approach may be unconventional. But for our family it has worked out so school, homework, etc is not viewed as a chore or work. It is just something that is done, like taking a shower or eating or breathing. I hope by this approach, then, that she will always make time in her life to be learning something new everyday, or that it won't even be a matter of taking the time, it is just a natural part of her life.

I do keep grades, mostly A's and some B's (darn that geometry ), to have a record for the district should they ask.

I think the important thing is to just do what works best for your family.

 

[pixiewings71]

We don't pay for grades, we expect them to work their hardest and maintain good grades. BUT we do take them out for a special dinner, for ice cream, to a movie or to play mini golf if their grades warrant that. I just had DD9s conference this morning, she has all 4's (they don't do letter grades until grade 4 in our district) and a lot of E's so she will get a special something this weekend.

I also wonder why your teacher would take it upon him/herself to suggest you give your child money for grades, that doesn't sound quite right to me. JMHO of course.

 

[sanibelsettler]

Paying for grades is the easy way out. Rather than help a child develop intrinsic positive character traits, it teaches them to behave like dogs. Ring a bell, and get fed.

 

[CrAzY4DL]

We don't pay for grades but we do reward for them! We have always taught our DDs that everyone has a job in our house and their jobs are to go to school and do their homework. Their "pay" is their grades. If they come home with mostly 3s and 4s, they get a special day with Mommy, by themselves. Last year, for a truly stellar end-of-year report card, I took DD9 to lunch (her choice), a movie (her choice) and to See's Candy where we each got 2 pieces. She ended up choosing the Chicken Barn, which is hilarious because I used to work there in high school and her grandma was a manager there for 15 years!! HAHA And we saw An American Girl: Kitt Kittredge. It was a really wonderful day and so nice to say to her, your hard work paid off, look what you get for all of your efforts.
Now, first report cards this year, I took DD9 to Disneyland for 2 days, just me and her but that was also tangled up with DH's idea that I had taken DD5 just me and her several times over the years and never DD9, so it was fair. DD5, for her very first report card, got to spend that weekend with JUST Daddy and they went and watched BOLT and played softball together. I would never again give something like a DISNEYLAND trip for good grades, because that is crazy but we already had the AP's and DH and I had already planned on me taking her, just us, so it was a way to say WOOHOO for you! and still do our planned trip. Hee hee I'm sneaky that way!

And PS-I REALLY agree, teacher needs to b-u-t-t the heck out!!

 

[dbmarie]

We don't pay for grades but we do reward for them! We have always taught our DDs that everyone has a job in our house and their jobs are to go to school and do their homework. Their "pay" is their grades.

This is the way we feel also. On a side note both my dd are very bright and capable of good grades. But my younger dd didn't really seem to care until she realized that her sister got money for the honor roll. I'm not sure how else to make her care? We sit over a single sheet of homework for hours sometimes because she just doesn't want to do, she wants me to do it for her . Although she has APD she has a high IQ and is capable of doing it just doesn't want to.

 

[missfigment]

I'm a teacher...and I dont feel like kids necessarily need to be awarded for good grades. I think good grades need to be epected. However I also grew up as "the one who worked her butt of for the B or C" and my brother could sleep in class and get an A. My parents told me as long as i did my best thats all they could ask for and I respect that decision especially now as a teacher.

Rewarding and celebrating...two different things. If my child comes home from bringing a D up to a C or whatever...I could see "lets go out for ice cream! Or lets have pizza tonight to celebrate!"....but I'm not about to pay him money.

 

[Aristomommy]

I don't have a specific monetary amount set for DD. She is a good student so just saying $5 for every A wouldn't work. We tend to set goals based on areas that can be improved. If she meets goals during a grading period, there is a reward usually which doesn't have to be money.

Last year we had a "bet" to see if she could keep her desk clean at school. This was to encourage organizational skills improvement, and she managed to keep her desk organized for quite a long time. I know this was hard for her, and we had a special day together to celebrate. This year organization isn't an issue because during the "learning phase" the task was fun.

I don't think money is a bad thing to use as a reward. I sometimes feel more inclined to go to work when I know I get a paycheck instead of just thinking the intrinsic value of my job, LOL!

 

[aspcamhreditor2]

Hello ...

We do not pay for grades, but we do offer rewards for efforts if we are trying to instill certain behaviors or for efforts toward improvement. We also "celebrate" good report cards ...usually w/ dinner out or ice cream.

While we do not pay for grades, our family does have an example of how paying for grades ONE time was instrumental in turning things around. My husband struggled in grade school and was labeled as academically challenged. My m-i-l disagreed and thought he was bright based on what she experieced at home. She routinely would be in the school on his behalf only to have the teachers/admin/system blow her off and basically say, "sorry, your child's just not that bright." However, several things came into play to finally prove 1) yes, we're right ... he's bright and 2) obviously this kid needs motivation. First, of course, they took care of the hearing & vision things. Then, they noticed ... here's a kid who is nearly failing everything and the school has labeled him as below average ... but he gets a 100% every time on his spelling. Why? Because the kids who got 100% got a sucker. In 5th grade, my husband's teacher rewarded the kids who read the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy by carving their name on a big walking stick. My husband wanted his name on that stick ... so he read the books even though they were way beyond his reading level at the time. That teacher ENCOURAGED him when the others didn't ... and it instilled a love of books that made all the difference in the world.

Finally, not long after that time ... my husband's dear father offered to pay $20 for every A on my husband's next report card. Since this was a child who had mostly earned C's and D's, my f-i-l made it extreme because he thought he could ... he never dreamed he'd pay out anything at all.

You can imagine his surprise when my husband brought home ALL A's the next time.

Good to his word ... my f-i-l DID pay. But he also made a point ... said, see, we know you can do it now and we expect this effort from now on without the money. And, that's pretty much what they got.

My husband went on to graduate 2nd in his class and scored either a 34 or 35 on his ACT.... not bad for a kid the system wanted to continually label as borderline "academically challenged."

I wouldn't pay for grades on a routine basis, but I DO believe there might be times when it could work.