Monetary Gifts for Destination Weddings

[MissManners]

I saw a similar thread to this on a different forum, but I was wondering what an appropriate monetary amount to gift a couple is if they are having a destination wedding. We attended a cruise wedding last weekend, and gave $100, but I know people gave more than that so I'm wondering if that was not enough? The cruise expenses totaled over $1500 for me and DF, so I figured our "presence" was part of the "present"?

The reason I'm asking is because we have another destination wedding coming up (in South Carolina, if that makes a difference), and I want to make sure we are gifting an appropriate amount. I know several people use the "cover your plate" rule of thumb, but does that still apply if there is a lot of travel involved?

I figured this might be a good place to post since we are all having Disney "destination" weddings, so someone might have a general idea? Thanks in advance for any input!

 

[princesswendy720]

I haven't been to a destination wedding, but I've been told to expect less since we are having a destination wedding in Disney. I don't know yet if that will be true. Is the SC wedding a destination for the couple? If not, then I would think you'd keep it a regular amount even though you are traveling to get there.

They have some handy calculators online to determine the average amount based on the location of the wedding and other factors: http://www.theweddingenvelope.com/calculator.php

 

[MissManners]

Is the SC wedding a destination for the couple?

Yes, the couple is from Florida... they are having a destination wedding in the mountains of SC. Probably should have clarified that, sorry!

 

[AmberHeartsDisney]

If your paying to go to a wedding i would think your being there is a gift? that is just me.

 

[minniebride]

We are getting married in WDW in December. I registered at a few different places and put a mix of $20-$100 items on there. I know that my parents have alot of friends coming who will be giving us $$ or registry gifts and the $$ will likely largely depend on how much $$ my parents gave to their child's wedding.

As for my and DF's friends, most do not have a ton of money or have children and we specifically told them that we did not want a gift from them~their ability to travel to WDW for the weekend to be there for our wedding is gift enough to us.

 

[chris31997]

Not that this will help you too much. My thought is I am paying/asking you to pay to go to a wedding than you will probably get a smaller cash gift in the card than if I did not have to pay. But it also depends on my abilty to pay to go to the wedding and how close we are. Many factors.

To me it sounds like you were on target

 

[Jilian]

I think $100 is a generous gift. We usually give $50-75 for friends and only give $100+ for close family members. We're a one income family (I stay at home with our kids) so that factors into our gift-giving capabilities.

 

[PEANUT1]

I agree that a gift will be smaller for a destination wedding. Unless the guest is very well off, it is a burden financially to attend a destination wedding and the gift must be given accordingly. JMHO

 

[MissManners]

Thanks for all your responses! They were very helpful. Although that link posted above definitely said I should have given more... .... I'm going to choose to ignore that .

 

[Mindyjoy]

Gift giving "rules" are dumb. The gift should be whatever you are comfortable spending, and no one should be judged based on their monetary value. Haha, just my two cents!

 

[a1tinkfans]

Gift giving "rules" are dumb. The gift should be whatever you are comfortable spending, and no one should be judged based on their monetary value. Haha, just my two cents!

Yeah that is so true.
Destination weddings are expensive for some people. I always think one should give what they are comfortable with. It is the same for me with holidays and birthdays too. When I have it, I share and when I don't I cut back, its as simple as that.

 

[Diegosmom]

I had a destination wedding in the outerbanks of NC and most of the gifts I got were $100 or a present that was about $100.

But we paid for everyones room for the entire week and all they had to pay for was flight (or most drove) and for some of the food for the week (we stocked the house, with drinks and food plus had 3 meals provided)...

 

[LittleKittyMarie]

It's always nice to get a gift, but I think it's a little presumptuous to expect a gift no matter what the "gift giving rules" say, lol. As soon as you ask your guests to go above and beyond the call of duty - i.e. attend a destination wedding - I think gift giving rules should no longer apply.

When I do up my wedding invitations I intend to say outright no gifts, it really will be gift enough for my family to be able to spend the day with me. If any of them still feel like giving a gift, it will be as I mentioned before nice, but definitely not expected!

 

[girli565]

I knew that i was asking people to come to WdW for our wedding and didn't expect anything else. I was very surprised when I did get several cash gifts from family members at the reception. The average amount was $150. My aunt gave us $500. I will clarify that only my side of the family gave cash gifts... (my DH's side doesn't really understand wedding etiquette, only 1 person came up from South America for our wedding. And DH's mom is just frustrating lol).

I never expected cash from anyone bc they had to travel to get to the wedding. I was just happy with their presence.

 

[epfootballcutie04]

I think your gift of 100 dollars is VERY generous, especially with your travel expenses. we ar getting married in disney and i already feel bad making people pay to attend. We are taking a carnival cruise for our honey moon and have registered there. i have options of 25 and 50 dollars. i also have "wanted: 2, 3, 4, etc" listed by each amount. they also have the option to see which excursion they are helping us pay for

we are also registering at target and bed bath and beyond where we will have options from 10-250 bucks. are we expecting the 250 dollar gifts to roll in ??? NOT AT ALL!!! but, you never know i guess!!