Moms(or dads) of two children

[Rachie0507]

Our kids are less than two years apart--the first one a girl, second a boy. They are now 5 and 7. I'm 5 months pregnant with #3 After DS was born, we weren't sure if we wanted more but we knew we definitely didn't want another one close in age. Two babies at once is a lot of work We decided to go for the third but it took me almost 2 years to conceive. I almost feel like we are starting over, like this baby will be an only child in some ways. Big sister and big brother are both in school full-time so this baby will get to be with just me all day long!

We decided this was the right thing for our family because we didn't feel complete. I felt it for years but it was about two years ago that DH had his realization. There was a time that we thought it would be just the four of us because I was having such a hard time TTC and it was almost like a mourning period. Now that we are having #3, I feel like our family is complete. There is no doubt in my mind that this will be our last child and that we are whole now

 

[PEANUT1]

I have 2 amazing daughters ages 4 and 17 months. I am 98% sure we are done...not ready for my husband to get "snipped" yet however.

I am a middle child and have always had "middle child syndrome". My older sister was always the first to do....get married, have kids.....my brother is the baby and still gets treated special and spoiled (he is 26).

I find that a family of 4 is just about perfect. Alot of people ask me and my hubby if we want to try for a boy...I just find that funny, like we couldn't possibly be happy with 2 girls. BOY are they wrong. My husband is perfectly content and does not want any more.

My best friend just had a baby and I don't get the pangs of wanting another when I see her. Now, I look forward to when my girls are a little older and can be best friends.....and enemies

 

[_queenie_]

(I'm one of three kids, my husband is one of four kids.)

We stopped at two because it seems like the world is made for "families of four" -- cars, vacation packages, board games, etc.

Growing up, my family had five people -- so someone always had to sit on the hump, or sit out of the game, or be the fifth wheel. Inevitably it was my youngest brother who got left out.

I definately agree, this world is made for a family of four.

Having said that, that was my original plan, but I now have three, 17, 13 and 3.5. At first when my DD13 turned two and my DS17 was 5.5, I seriously thought about having another baby. We decided that wasn't going to work for us at the, and just assumed we were done at two, never really folllowing up on it. I had never really felt finished, but before I had my DS I lost identical twin girls to TTTS. I felt like though I had four children, people only saw two and that anothe might help ease that feeling. Still, we gave up on the idea.

Then, eight years later, I found myself with another beautiful little girl, and in all honesty I couldn't have been more thrilled. At first, we thought it was going to mess up our whole lives. We were 41 and 44-year-old new parents, it definately changed some of our future plans. But now, the more I've gotten used to the idea, I actually am really pleased with the situation we're in. Even as a family of five, we're still able to function somewhat as a family of four. Because my DD3 is young, we're able to still all sleep in one hotel room, get one rental car, and can still go to restaurants pretty easily since we can squeeze her in at the end of the table. My DS will be in college in another year and a half (though he'll still be living with us), which means he'll probably want to do less with us far as vacations go. When you think about it, it actually works as it won't be until that time that my DD3 will really be too big to do what we're pulling off now. It's also nice that my older kids can watch her, but without acting like a babysitter. They're still her siblings, and still (my DD13 especially) are able to play with her like they're very close in age.

I'm glad that I don't have a ten-year-old, but am that I have a three-year-old, and that things worked out the way that they did. I'm not telling everyone to have another baby ten years later, but just that there's a way to make whatever happens work out. My question to the OP is do you travel and eat out a lot? If so, I would refrain from having another right now. There's a lot of draw backs that come with going for that third one, but, in the end, you have to trust your gut and do what works for you and your family.

 

[luvmy2sams]

We're parents of DD9 and DS4. Originally we planned on having three kids, but after having our son we decided we were done. Two perfect kids (in our opinion, anyway ) so we decided not to tempt fate. As many previous posters have stated, the world is made for a family of four. We thought that if we had a third we might as well have 4 to balance everything out, and we DO NOT want 4 kiddos! Vacationing is huge for us, so traveling with 4 versus 5 or more was a big consideration.

With two kids we're still in man to man defense instead of switching over to zone, which was a terrifying thought for us. We can financially afford to provide all we want for our kids at this point (schooling through grad schools and all the endless incidentals of growing up), even if I decided to continue being a SAHM, but that wouldn't be as comfortable with an additional child.

Snip, snip....we're done!

 

[disneygal2007]

we have 2 boys and I would try again if we knew we would get that girl

 

[shelly3girls]

We have 2 DDs ages 7 and 9. When my youngest DD was a baby I said I was done, I had no desire for another. DH begged for years but life was getting so easy. Like everyone said, the world is made for families of 4. With 5 everything is more expensive. Then one day it really hit me. My family did not feel complete, like someone was missing from the dinner table.

One year later I had my DS. He has added amazing life to our home. I love that I really enjoyed him as a baby. The first baby I was nervous b/c everything was so new. Baby #2 came and it was still hard b/c I had two really little ones. With baby #3 everything just flowed and our family all enjoyed this baby. Even now 21 months later I am thankful for every day.

WDW may be more expensive but many other hotels permit 5, often offering a rollaway. I already had a car that seated 8 since I always transported DDs' friends. We still fit in a booth at most restaurants. The only real inconvenience that we have added is the cost of a Disney cruise and DS is worth every penny!

 

[LoveMyDisneyCats]

The downsides of 3-
1. The laundry never gets "finished." I remember as a family of 4, there were times when everything was washed and put away. I don't know what happened when #3 came along, but I can't keep up!
2. Public outings- I can't keep track anymore.
3. The stroller situation. My oldest two took turn fighting over who got to ride, till I got frustrated and got rid of the double.

1. With my two, the laundry is never finished! You're telling me it'd get worse if we add another?
2. I can't keep track of my two....I think the only time I could was when they were babies in their carriers! I long for another baby who will be so easy!
3. My DDs fight over the one stroller we take, so we too just removed the situation! No more stroller....

Just teasing you! I know how crazy it is with two, I can only imagine what a third adds. I admire all you moms of three or four who can keep it all straight!!

That being said, we are (and have been for a year and a half) "trying" for #3. I'm in the opposite position wondering if I can be "o.k" with my two. My sis and mom keep saying I have two perfect, healthy kids and should try to move on and I do totally agree about my DDs- I feel like the luckiest mom in the world with my girls! BUT, I have always thought/known/planned on three. It's just what was always to be.....but I guess we'll see...

I do agree that three changes alot of situations- travel, outnumbering, more of everything, etc. DH even argued in the beginning that we're good with two-we travel to WDW several times a year and that would change everything! More airfare, bigger accomodations, etc. He came from a family with four kids though and he is the oldest so he always says that the last two "ruined" his and his brother's perfect world.

 

[mom2girlsn1boy]

we have three our oldest is 4 than 2 and 1 the two youngest are 15 months apart. We had talked about having one more after my second dd, and we were gonna wait until they would be 2 years apart like my oldest and middle, buy God had other plans we talked about it one weekend and the next I found out I was pg. He is know as our big surprise. lol With my kids being so close together it's great, we have tons of fun, and do lots of things out of the house. My secret when ds was little little was a sling, the sling was my best friend. I was worried that my youngest dd would have problems when ds was born, but she really took to him, my kids are all lovey to each other and love playing together, now don't get me wrong they have thier days, and it's not always perfect, but we have a wonderful family that we would not know what to do with without our big surprise. lol

 

[kim_o]

I opened the post because I currently have two. But can't help you there - we're currently trying for a 3rd. First two are 22 months apart, and am now aiming for 17-18 months apart. DH travels during the week, so I think I'll be done at 3 - can't imagine 4 by myself.

 

[design_mom]

We considered 2 or 3, but we have stopped at two. My reasons differ from DH's. DH thinks three would be too hard because you could only keep track of two of them (and the third might be off getting into something. We have a puppy who could pose as the "third child" in this scenario -- and I think DH's theory might hold water!)

I was somewhat unprepared for the increased chaos that two children creates. Everyone told me two is more than twice the work of one, but I thought "how can this be so?" but it seems to be exponential! I just can't imagine increasing it again! LOL!

Both of us are happy and comfortable in our decision to stick with 2 though. I don't get the impression that you're feeling that way -- so maybe three is in the cards for you!

 

[brergnat]

We stopped at 2. We have boys. We wanted 2 boys, and got what we wanted, so stopped cold. Even if we'd had 2 girls, or one of each, we decided 2 is enough for the following reasons:

1. There are two of us. One parent per child is a good ratio. I think that, no matter what, more than 2 means that someone is constantly feeling neglected, or "in the middle" or the other siblings "gang up" on one (this happened in my family...I have 2 sisters).

2. I have 2 hands. When I'm alone with them (or DH is), you can hold onto one on each hand, which is really only important while they are little, but important nonetheless.

3. The world seems to be made for families of four. Hotels, tables at restaurants, cars, etc. It's EASY to accommodate 4. Not so much 5 or more...

4. DH is active duty military. He deploys. This is a reality during the remainder of his career. As a "single mom", 2 is the most I know I can handle on my own while he is away from home.

So, for us, 2 kids was the magic number. I can honestly say, though, on a lot of days, I wish we had stopped at one. My oldest son is autistic, and it takes a toll. However, I can't imagine life without my "baby", so it's all good, but 2 is HARD when you're on your own. 3 would send me into an institution.

 

[AZMickeyfans]

(I'm one of three kids, my husband is one of four kids.)

We stopped at two because it seems like the world is made for "families of four" -- cars, vacation packages, board games, etc.

Growing up, my family had five people -- so someone always had to sit on the hump, or sit out of the game, or be the fifth wheel. Inevitably it was my youngest brother who got left out.

I'm going to quote you here because this is exactly what I would have posted. I grew up as 5 and someone was always left out. 4 fits our family perfectly. Actually I had always thought if I had 3 then I would have 4 to even up the numbers. I know figuring out who sits alone at WDW doesnt seem like a big deal but those "small" things added up.

 

[hammie59]

We decided to stop at 2 kids for a few reasons. Main one I guess is my age (38). In the past 5 years I've been pregnant 3 times (I miscarried with one @11 weeks) and for me personally, that's enough. Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful I can have kids, but I didn't care for actually being pregnant. I was always worrying and didn't have the best pregnancy/delivery experiences. I suppose had we started earlier, I'd go for another, but I don't feel like tempting fate (birth defects, etc..) and want to start doing things with my family (ie: going to disney this spring. I'd never go pregnant). And of course, there's always the financial aspect. But that's secondary for us. I'm very happy with 2 and we feel like we're complete with a boy and a girl.

***PS- I actually wanted a big family, something along the line of 5 kids, but one must be realistic to one's situation.

 

[pigget74]

My husband is the opposite-his brothers are 10 and 12 years older than him and he hated being sort of like an only child and he informed me that should we have an oops now or in the future(our kids are 6.5 and 8.5 now), we'd really need to have another after the 'surprise' so that the baby wouldn't be all alone like he was.
4 kids!
If you knew me and my lack of patience you'd know how truly scary that thought is.
So yeah, we're DONE.

This was us. We had a boy and a girl three years a part. When my DD was 3 we tried again and had a miscarriage. We were then done. Things were great. When DS was 10 and DD 7 we found out I was expecting. After DS was born DH and I began talking abut him being like an only child later on. Now we have DD to go along childhood with him. So we go boy, girl, boy, girl. Also, all my kids are born in September--5th, 14th, 24th, and 30th. Their ages are 13, 10, 2, and 5 mths. We love our life. That being said it is hard. DH travels a lot between August and March. I am basically a single parent during this time. We have made it work- and we are going to WDW in May

 

[ObsessedwiththeMouse]

I have one of each, 5 years apart, and I plan on having a third baby eventually. I like having them 5 years apart, so we have a few years being that my son just turned 2. I've had a few people that are confused as to why I would want a third since I already have one of each, but I would really like another litte girl.

Right now, our biggest concern is room. We have a 3 bedroom house, 1400 sq feet. Each child has their own room and we would really like a 4 bedroom house for a third baby.

Having another baby is such a personal decision and you have to do what you feel is right.

Good luck!

 

[Sheaboys]

Well friends of ours have 2 boys, which are 11 months apart and had their third boy when the boys were 3 and 4, shortly turned 4 and 5 after the birth. They think that was great.

We had our first 3 boys all two years apart. Then had our 4th Boy when the boys were 8, 6 and 4. I really did not want the 4th so far apart from the other boys, but we were unsure. But changed our minds. We are now thinking of a 5th, and soon, since I would at least like the last 2 to be a little closer in age, although, the baby keeps right up with the other kids and they are great with him.

 

[LoveMyDisneyCats]

I thought of a "plus" for having that third (to counter all of the negatives that go along with traveling with 3 kids...)

Alot of planes sit three together and then two across the row. So that's PERFECT for a family of five. Whenever we travel, me and the girls sit together and my DH sits across the row "so lonely" (yeah right, he actually gets to read or listen to his IPOD!) So you see, then if you have five in the family no one will miss out on that fun of traveling in restricted spaces with little one! Actually alot of planes sit three and three so maybe four would be even better!

(I can't help you when you get there though- the argument about hotels being made for 4 is true....I'll keep thinking though! )

 

[disneymomof2boyz]

Thank you all for your responses!! Each person who responded has brought something new to the table, and it's very interesting to see eachone's point of view.
Maybe b/c of the fact that it's actually a "debate " in me and DH's mind means that we don't feel 100% complete. We're gonna pray and see if God puts peace in our hearts for either side.
Our practical reasons for 2 are: our house right now fits 2 perfectly, and maybe we would have to upgrade to a bigger house with 3; our car fits 2 perfectly(we have 2007 Camry, that we just bought..); everything seems cheaper in terms of vacations with 4, we would probably have to give in and buy a DVC (awww shucks!!; and with 3 we are outnumbered.
Maybe we should just wait a year or so and see.....
Thanks to all!

 

[EllaDisney]

It's different in my situation. I had a 3 year old daughter from a previous relationship and married a man with a 5 year old daugter from a previous marriage, so we instantly had two. We decided that we wanted to have one or two of our own in 2 years after we got married. God had other plans! We got married December 10, 2007 at Seabreeze Point in WDW and found out less than a month later that we were expecting baby # 3! I'm due in September! Realistically my DH and I want four kids.

 

[Thats_for_Shore]

DH and I are discussing this right now.

He says please.

I say no way.

We have 2 boys, and he wants that little girl.

I have a feeling we'd get another boy, and he'd still be wanting that little girl.