Moms, I need help-getting rid of pacifier!

[The Mystery Machine]

I really don't know my exact reason. I just honestly feel embarassed she still has it. I know there are times in public she absolutely does NOT need it, but it's there stuck in her mouth. Does that make me a bad mom? Wanting to get rid of it for that reason? I just think she's old enough to be without it.

Absolutely not. You are are the mom.

I felt after 1yo they needed to go so that is what I did.

 

[mamacatnv]

I really don't know my exact reason. I just honestly feel embarassed she still has it. I know there are times in public she absolutely does NOT need it, but it's there stuck in her mouth. Does that make me a bad mom? Wanting to get rid of it for that reason? I just think she's old enough to be without it.

Nope, not at all, she is your kid that is your call.
IMO the world is a scary place to a 2 year old. If a child has something that gives them comfort and lets them self soothe, that does not bother anyone else, then why remove it.

 

[RadioNate]

My question is why do you feel the need to get rid of it?
Both my kids had theirs til they were almost 4, both gave theirs to Santa with no trama, no drama and not a tear. Oh sure we had to deal with some peer and grandparent pressure but the dentist didn't care, our Ped didn't care so really, why should we? It provided comfort and security, this is not a bad thing.

When DS was about 2 we tried the while sleeping only and then would find him under his crib sneaking a fix. That is when we really asked ourselves the question, why now? Whats the big deal?

Really, whats the big deal? DS is a Jr in college, I assure you he did not take his Baba to college with him.

Truthfully, I don't see the big deal. My nearly 3 year old having it at mostly only nap and bedtime doesn't bother me. If she finds one she use it during the day but she doesn't fuss if I take it away then.

My DH (who's not really "D" at this time) on the other hand is positively livid she still has it. He's a whole nothing issue in general but I have no clue why it bothers him so much.

We are sticking with the Santa trade but in reality I don't care either way. I think that is why I gave in last time we tried to take it away.

 

[GoofyBaseballMom26]

My son always handled things better when he helped make the decisions. He sucked on his pacifier so much his little mouth stayed chapped.

He was about 2-2 1/2 when a puppy was outside his daycare when I picked him up one evening. We were looking at it and talking about how it was a baby and he mentioned it needed a paci..... he said he wanted to give the puppy his. I told him before he did it that once the puppy had it, he couldn't get it back but he was ok with it.Last thing we saw was the puppy running off with his paci in it's mouth. As soon as I got home, I swept the place for all the others.

Once in a while he would announce he wanted his paci, but he would remind himself that the puppy had his paci and he was ok.

I just got real lucky! Maybe you could give her a little more time and she might make the decision.

 

[smilie]

I do see the point about it being a security issue. She really is comforted by it. Maybe I will just stop it during the day when she can be comforted by someone and let her keep it at night when she's by herself in bed. I just know there are times when she doesn't need it and it's just "there". I think that will hurt her more when we eventually get rid of it completely.

 

[ElizK]

When DD15 turned 2 we told her that she's a big girl now, and she could only have her pacifier when she was in her bed. She would give it to me in the morning, and I would put it on top of her dresser (she couldn't reach). At nap time and at bedtime I would give it to her only if she asked. Often times she would forget at first, and then call me to tell me she wanted it. Eventually she forgot it altogether. Didn't take long... maybe 3 months?

 

[smilie]

When DD15 turned 2 we told her that she's a big girl now, and she could only have her pacifier when she was in her bed. She would give it to me in the morning, and I would put it on top of her dresser (she couldn't reach). At nap time and at bedtime I would give it to her only if she asked. Often times she would forget at first, and then call me to tell me she wanted it. Eventually she forgot it altogether. Didn't take long... maybe 3 months?

Now that is something that may work! Just giving it to her if she asks at night too is a good idea. Now the only thing I may have a problem with is the pacifiers that are probably hidden all around the house that I don't know about. LOL

 

[JoBird]

I was a pacifier baby until three.
The day it was taken away, my older, wiser cousin told me my Mom couldn't take my thumb away and to switch to that.
So I did.
For three more years.

Mom was NOT happy.

My son was my pacifier baby and when it came time to give them up-( he had to have three- one in his mouth and one in each hand- it was awful) we took them to Santa, wrapped as a gift when he sat on his lap that year. Santa was awesome and said he'd get them to the proper children that needed them since he was a big boy and didn't need them anymore.

There were tears - a few-- but we reminded him how he gave his to Santa and Rudolph and he was happy.

 

[MichelleVW]

My question is why do you feel the need to get rid of it?
Both my kids had theirs til they were almost 4, both gave theirs to Santa with no trama, no drama and not a tear. Oh sure we had to deal with some peer and grandparent pressure but the dentist didn't care, our Ped didn't care so really, why should we? It provided comfort and security, this is not a bad thing.

When DS was about 2 we tried the while sleeping only and then would find him under his crib sneaking a fix. That is when we really asked ourselves the question, why now? Whats the big deal?

Really, whats the big deal? DS is a Jr in college, I assure you he did not take his Baba to college with him.

That's how I felt about it. My girls were 3 1/2 when we got rid of them. They weren't allowed to take them out of the house unless they were sleeping on an airplane or sick at the doctors. My oldest cried for two nights for her "binky" and then was fine, my youngest who was a MAJOR binky junkie never actually cried when we got rid of it.

Thank you everyone for the ideas, please keep them coming! Right now she's being cut off at daycare. Daycare Mom has been a saint about taking it away. I think right now I need to make it just for night time and then get rid of it completely. I think she'd react better to doing it in stages.

I think doing it in stages is WAY better than cold turkey. I would just let her have it at nap time and then cut it out...but honestly don't stress out about it, it's not really that big of a deal in the grand scheme of life.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

We took DS's cold turkey at 21 months. He was only allowed to have it for nap and bedtime prior to that. He wasn't traumatized.

As a nanny I have only had to take the pacifier away from 2 kids. The others never had a pacifier to begin with, or they had already given it up when I started taking care of them.

My first charge was 18 months. The pediatrician told us to take it before she got any older. So we tossed them out. The first day she said "Fa fa?" I said "Nope. Fa fa bye-bye." That was it.

My next charge was 4 before he got rid of it. He would have gladly given it up before that, but his mom kept buying him new ones and almost encouraged him to keep using it.

 

[ccgirl]

OP - Thank you for posting this. I am going thru this too. My DS will be 3 in Jan. We are going to WDW in December so I said we were taking them away when we got home.

First of all, good luck. My first DD never wanted a pacifier, and I tried sometimes to have her take it. Second DD had hers til she was 3. My friends laughed at our photos from Disney when she was 2.5 and said she looked like Maggie from the Simpsons in every photo. I tried the tricks of cutting the pacifier and saying it was broke, losing it, it didn't matter. I told her at 3 we were getting rid of them. So for her birthday, since she was a big girl we all took them and threw them out. She was ok with it then. I would maybe pick a day, maybe say new years day, when she has to get rid of them, and tell her you'll buy her a big girl gift since she's bigger now. It still may not work, but worth a try. I think if they're prepared and know ahead of time, it helps a little.

HA! My photos from May were the same way. Everyone kept asking if I had a picture without the binky and I couldn't find one.

Trade it with Santa Claus. Have her leave it with a note. Santa will leave her a note of thanks and tell her what a big girl she is becoming. I think the trick is to NOT make too many of these changes at once. If she's recently moved out of a crib, don't take the paci right now. It's not good to make all the 'big kid' changes at once or being a 'big kid' will have a negative connotation.

LOVE...LOVE...LOVE this idea! We just moved him out of the crib 2 nights ago so will go with this after we return from WDW next month. Thanks for the suggestion.

 

[tlmdisney]

My daughter was obsessive about her binky, she didn't just have one at a time she would have one or sometimes two in her mouth and always extra in her pockets. Getting her to quite was pretty easy though we told her that when she turned three she couldn't have the binky anymore and that we would put all the binkies under her pillow for the binky fairy to trade them for computer games. She really liked to play on the computer by this time. It worked really well although Four months later I had my youngest daughter, so I bought more binkys for her. My oldest DD tried to swipe those binkies a few times. My youngest never took to the binky so I was able to get rid of them as well.

 

[kirstenb1]

For both kids, I cut a hole in it, let them use it like that for a couple of days. Then I told them that new babies need binkies, and since they were "big kids" we could give their binkies to babies.

 

[HM]

My son was well into his 3s when we finally got rid of his. He only liked one kind...and it was no longer being made. When his last one was broken, that was it. He gave it up. I will say that he didn't really have a hard time of it after he no longer had it, only mentioning it for a few days. Though about four months after he'd given it up, he had a 'hard day ' and was feeling poorly and said to me "I wish I had my binkie". I felt so bad for him (about made me cry). It had been his only source of self-comfort and he no longer had that anymore. He didn't have a blankie, toy, or woobie that gave him comfort. That was the last time he mentioned it though.

Good luck.

 

[Sweettears]

My son loved his binky. This was a loooong time ago, he's now 22, but it worked like a charm. We waited until we went on vacation. No, not WDW, it was a car trip to the mountains of beautiful NH, about 3 hours away. Before we left I collected all his binkys and hid them. As we were putting him in his car seat he asked for his binky. I told him I would go back inside to look for it, but obviously didn't. My husband was talking about how we had to get on the road, long ride, wanted to stop for lunch, yada, yada, so I just told my son that we couldn't find it and one was probably packed in the suitcase. We were shocked at how calm he was. Never asked for it again. I had brought one with me, just in case, but never gave it to him. That was that. As another poster said, I knew someone who used the "give it to Santa" and it worked too. Good luck!!

Not a mom but a Dad. We did the same. "Lost it at the hotel". I think we actually did do it once at Disney. Worked like a charm but I'm sure every kid is different.

 

[Kae]

My daughter was obsessive about her binky, she didn't just have one at a time she would have one or sometimes two in her mouth and always extra in her pockets. Getting her to quite was pretty easy though we told her that when she turned three she couldn't have the binky anymore and that we would put all the binkies under her pillow for the binky fairy to trade them for computer games. She really liked to play on the computer by this time. It worked really well although Four months later I had my youngest daughter, so I bought more binkys for her. My oldest DD tried to swipe those binkies a few times. My youngest never took to the binky so I was able to get rid of them as well.

My DD too. She would have one in each hand also. And then 1 day they were just gone. Her choice.

Kae

 

[MushyMushy]

The Easter bunny took my son's. He was maybe 2? I would have just let him continue using it because I had the attitude that he was comforted by it and it wasn't hurting anything to let him use it. It drove my mother nuts. So the ONE time I went away overnight to spend with a friend, she did it while I was away. I was amazed at how calm he was about it. He was fine with the Easter bunny taking it. I was so mad at my mother, but eventually I got over it because it worked.

Now me, I sucked my thumb and you're right, mom can't take that away. I'm ashamed to say how long I actually sucked my thumb and my parents had to take pretty drastic measures to get me to quit. I still miss those thumbs.

 

[2girlsmom]

I tried to "lose" the pacifiers right at my dd's 2nd birthday, and she absolutely FLIPPED out (she was only using to sleep, but would not sleep without it), so I gave in and got her a new one, but only one. Maybe 3 months later we "lost" that one and she didn't care at all, so apparently during that 3 months she just became ready.

 

[okeydokey]

My kids' dentist suggested cutting the tip off. Trim a tiny bit more each day and they will not want them anymore. Worked for my don when he was 2,

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I really don't know my exact reason. I just honestly feel embarassed she still has it. I know there are times in public she absolutely does NOT need it, but it's there stuck in her mouth. Does that make me a bad mom? Wanting to get rid of it for that reason? I just think she's old enough to be without it.

You are not a bad mom at all, and you are smart to do this now. I wish that I had limited the amount of time that my DD had hers only because she would talk with it in her mouth. The result was she would curl her tongue when she talked without it. It's something that they grow out of I am sure, but I spent a lot of money on speech therapy for her because they said that she wouldn't grow out of it. (My mother in law forced the issue, so others could tell what she was doing, even my Dr.)

Example of what she was doing is she couldn't make the ssssss sound without putting her tongue up to her front teeth, like curled up there as if she had a passy in.(habit) Her tongue would show when she talked. Instead of the sssss sound it would be more of a thhhhh sound. It's hard to explain.

That, and also her teeth were beginning to shape outward, because of the passy. My son's did it too, but that went back to normal, or not so noticeable after a while. I also noticed that my son did the thing with his tounge a little but he didn't have his passy near as long and stopped own his own. I did some of the speech exercises with him also. My first child didn't take a passy or anything and we didn't have any of these issues with her.



Just be glad that she is not a thumb sucker. That's a lot harder to stop.