Moms, I need help-getting rid of pacifier!

[smilie]

My DD is 2. It's time. We need to get rid of the pacifier. She is so completely attached to her "fier". Seriously, this child will cry and sound like she's suffering. The instant she puts it in her mouth she gives this huge sigh of relief and is the most content child in the world. I don't know how to get rid of it. I need help! How did you do it?

 

[Minnie824]

First of all, good luck. My first DD never wanted a pacifier, and I tried sometimes to have her take it. Second DD had hers til she was 3. My friends laughed at our photos from Disney when she was 2.5 and said she looked like Maggie from the Simpsons in every photo. I tried the tricks of cutting the pacifier and saying it was broke, losing it, it didn't matter. I told her at 3 we were getting rid of them. So for her birthday, since she was a big girl we all took them and threw them out. She was ok with it then. I would maybe pick a day, maybe say new years day, when she has to get rid of them, and tell her you'll buy her a big girl gift since she's bigger now. It still may not work, but worth a try. I think if they're prepared and know ahead of time, it helps a little.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

You just do it. It is like me and going into week 6 of quitting smoking. It sucks.

My youngest was attached to her "binky" and one day we said you are done and threw them all away. Of course we did that after turning 1.

Since your dd is 2 it is going to be met with a little more protest.

Does she have anything else that she is attaced to, to help soothe herself?

 

[RadioNate]

Let me know! I have a DD turning 3 in less than a month and I can't not get rid of it. She will not sleep with out it. The last time I tried to take it she cried for hours and I don't think she ever fell asleep. It was awful for everyone.

We allow it at night. DH despises that she still has it. It frustrates and angers him. I don't get it. It stays under her pillow during the day and she can have it to sleep. She also likes it on long car rides.

We currently have a deal but I don't know if it'll stick. She is supposed to be trading them to Santa for extra presents. We are going to leave them for him Xmas Eve. I don't know if she'll go for it when the time comes.

She won't potty train either. Acts like we are killing her then will sit forever and not go. Of course she goes the second she has diapers or underwear on.

DS was so much easier.

 

[shortbun]

Trade it with Santa Claus. Have her leave it with a note. Santa will leave her a note of thanks and tell her what a big girl she is becoming. I think the trick is to NOT make too many of these changes at once. If she's recently moved out of a crib, don't take the paci right now. It's not good to make all the 'big kid' changes at once or being a 'big kid' will have a negative connotation.

 

[tlbwriter]

Is there any possibility she's having ear issues? My DD had fluid buildup in her ears (even without an infection) and the sucking helped with her discomfort. Once she got tubes, she wanted her pacifier less.

If that's not the case, one suggestion I've seen (but didn't use) is to poke a small hole in the pacifier so it flattens when she sucks on it and is less enjoyable.

 

[mjkacmom]

Let me know! I have a DD turning 3 in less than a month and I can't not get rid of it. She will not sleep with out it. The last time I tried to take it she cried for hours and I don't think she ever fell asleep. It was awful for everyone.

We allow it at night. DH despises that she still has it. It frustrates and angers him. I don't get it. It stays under her pillow during the day and she can have it to sleep. She also likes it on long car rides.

We currently have a deal but I don't know if it'll stick. She is supposed to be trading them to Santa for extra presents. We are going to leave them for him Xmas Eve. I don't know if she'll go for it when the time comes.

She won't potty train either. Acts like we are killing her then will sit forever and not go. Of course she goes the second she has diapers or underwear on.

DS was so much easier.

Having binkies only for sleeping was the smartest thing I ever did. I'd get them hooked as infants, and then slowly transition to just sleeping, so they never put up a fuss about napping or sleeping, because they wanted that binkie! Only one self-weaned, and TBH, it was easier weaning a 4 year old than 3 year old (more rational). You did make it harder on yourself by giving in - it will be tougher, because she's learned that if she cries, you will give in. Crying never killed anyone. As for pt'ing, I've had amazing success with nakey butt (and not making them sit).

 

[mookie]

Cold turkey. It's the only way. I tried everything, and you just gotta do it. It's like them sleeping through the night. They are going to cry and protest, but it's gotta happen.

Now, I'm not going to say I was that totally harsh. We talked to DS about it, and told him in advance which day was going to be the day to get rid of them. We said he could take them to the store, use them as "money" and pick out a special toy for being such a big boy. When we got to the register, he handed over his bag of binks, and walked out happy. It didn't last long once we got home, but the tantrums only lasted a few days. We did allow him to keep one to sleep that was kept in a cabinet and only brought out at night. We let him keep that for a couple of months after he got rid of the day pacis and then did the same cold turkey for the night one. When we got rid of the night one, we gave him a sippy cup with water to take to bed instead. Good luck!

 

[RadioNate]

Having binkies only for sleeping was the smartest thing I ever did. I'd get them hooked as infants, and then slowly transition to just sleeping, so they never put up a fuss about napping or sleeping, because they wanted that binkie! Only one self-weaned, and TBH, it was easier weaning a 4 year old than 3 year old (more rational). You did make it harder on yourself by giving in - it will be tougher, because she's learned that if she cries, you will give in. Crying never killed anyone. As for pt'ing, I've had amazing success with nakey butt (and not making them sit).

Nakey butt and she just pees on the couch. I know I shouldn't have given in but when it has been all night and no one in the house has slept it just doesn't work. She got it back at nap time the next day.

She's super excited about more presents so I'm banking on that. DS was super easy to potty train. She'll get there. She knows what needs to be done. She just doesn't want to do it!

 

[DisneyMim]

My son loved his binky. This was a loooong time ago, he's now 22, but it worked like a charm. We waited until we went on vacation. No, not WDW, it was a car trip to the mountains of beautiful NH, about 3 hours away. Before we left I collected all his binkys and hid them. As we were putting him in his car seat he asked for his binky. I told him I would go back inside to look for it, but obviously didn't. My husband was talking about how we had to get on the road, long ride, wanted to stop for lunch, yada, yada, so I just told my son that we couldn't find it and one was probably packed in the suitcase. We were shocked at how calm he was. Never asked for it again. I had brought one with me, just in case, but never gave it to him. That was that. As another poster said, I knew someone who used the "give it to Santa" and it worked too. Good luck!!

 

[mookie]

Nakey butt and she just pees on the couch. I know I shouldn't have given in but when it has been all night and no one in the house has slept it just doesn't work. She got it back at nap time the next day.

She's super excited about more presents so I'm banking on that. DS was super easy to potty train. She'll get there. She knows what needs to be done. She just doesn't want to do it!

FYI when I potty trained both of my boys, the "santa brings you a special gift that you can open when you go in the potty" backfired. It literally sat on my dining room table until July. Then all of a sudden, one became ready. he hated it, but it seemed only then that the Santa gift was appealing to him, and I don't know why. I'm still working on the little guy...he's just not getting it at all. He will go when I tell him to go, but won't do it on his own.

(sorry....didn't mean to turn this into a potty training thread!)

 

[Distopia]

My first daughter was so attatched to hers that I had visions of it in her mouth at her university graduation! Then at 3, I proposed that we leave it for the fairy that gives pacifiers to new babies in exchange for a toy she wanted. Much to my surprise, she was all for it and never mentioned it again after that. We made sure there was a lot of pomp and circumstance around the whole affair and she felt good about it.

Having said that, if it's a huge ordeal, I'd wait a couple of months and try again. It provides a lot of comfort for some children and each child is different. Just know that they will eventually give it up and won't walk down the aisle with it.

 

[marcyinPA]

My advice is to elimate it during the day first. Reserve it ONLY for night time. After a reasonable period of time, get rid of it at night time as well. Try to replace it with another "lovey"...a stuff animal, a blankie, etc., but only for bed.

I've heard of parents packaging the "binkies" up and "sending" them to the binky fairy for the new babies. This may work....and it may not.

You just kind of have to do it and never go back. Anticipate tears, but don't cave to them.

Good luck!

 

[7beasley]

Ahhh...getting rid of the binky - been there - done that -- its hard!!

Not going to lie - when we decided to go "cold turkey" with my DD at 2.5 it was the worst week of my life. The crying - the inability to sleep - the temper tantrums -- but then -- one day -- they stopped and the binky was forgotten because "she was a big girl"

What we did was spent about 1-2 weeks talking to her every time she had a binky in her mouth that binkys were for babies and she was a big girl now. We also tried to limit binkys to just bedtime during that period. When she used one during the day - we would take it from her and she seemed ok with that - but she always wanted one at bedtime, naptime or when she was crying.

During that time, we were also telling her that its nice to share your
binkys with the babies and that the binky fairy was going to come and give them to the babies.

Then - after getting this into her head for a week or so - that following weekend we took a small box and had her decorate it - she colored it and put lots of stickers on it. We then went around the house and found all the binkys and SHE put them in the box. She was happy and excited that the binky fairy was coming and that she was sharing with the babies.

Once all the binkys were collected - we said goodbye to them and we put the box on the front stairs and went back inside. About 15 minutes later – my husband snuck outside and rang our doorbell and me and DD ran to the door and opened it up.

The binky box was gone - and the binky fairy had left her a present for being such a big girl. She was so proud of herself for helping the babies and getting her big girl present.

Of course - not going to lie to you - that night - major meltdown - and it was actually hard to not laugh because my little 2.5 year old DD was storming around the house screaming “you call that binky fairy and tell her to give those binkys back - the babies can get their own binkys - those are mine - you call that fairy and tell her...”

Anyway - the first few nights she only feel asleep out of sheer exhaustion from all the crying and then - a couple nights later - she would ask for it and when we would remind her that the binky fairy gave them to the babies and what a good girl she was for sharing - she would be sad but not cry – then a few nights after that - she never asked for a binky again!!

So it was a rough week for all of us while she went cold turkey - but now - when she sees a baby with a binky she will smile and proudly say - I don’t use a binky cause I’m a big girl - and we are SO glad that she doesn’t use one anymore - it was worth all the work and that very difficult first week. And she still has her special big girl present from the binky fairy!!

Good luck. Its hard but you will be happy once she is weaned.

*******

I was typing my reply and I see that 2 others just posted mentioning the binky fairy as well!!

 

[SaraJayne]

Get rid of it cold turkey and let her cry. Yes, it will be rough for a couple days, but she'll live.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

Trade it with Santa Claus. Have her leave it with a note. Santa will leave her a note of thanks and tell her what a big girl she is becoming. I think the trick is to NOT make too many of these changes at once. If she's recently moved out of a crib, don't take the paci right now. It's not good to make all the 'big kid' changes at once or being a 'big kid' will have a negative connotation.

That's a cute idea.


I can tell you what worked for me, twice. I don't even know what made me do it, but I told my 2.5 year old that the "passy fairy" was coming to take her passy and she would leave her a surprise. I told her that they were running low on passies for the new babies. So, during the day she gave me her passy and that night the passy fairy brought her some special M&M ice cream treats. She loved them and never asked for her passy again. Not only that, but she still remembers that happening.

It worked so well that I did the same thing for my son a year or so later. Again, no problem. They key is to never give it back.

 

[mamacatnv]

My question is why do you feel the need to get rid of it?
Both my kids had theirs til they were almost 4, both gave theirs to Santa with no trama, no drama and not a tear. Oh sure we had to deal with some peer and grandparent pressure but the dentist didn't care, our Ped didn't care so really, why should we? It provided comfort and security, this is not a bad thing.

When DS was about 2 we tried the while sleeping only and then would find him under his crib sneaking a fix. That is when we really asked ourselves the question, why now? Whats the big deal?

Really, whats the big deal? DS is a Jr in college, I assure you he did not take his Baba to college with him.

 

[Traveliz]

My advice is to eliminate it ONLY if you are willing to forego naps.

My daughter also had a "fier" and when she was two we took it away...seemed simple enough and then she never took another nap (until she hit college). I still tell her she would have had it longer had I known that was going to happen.

She would go down for nap but never go to sleep.

Liz

 

[smilie]

Thank you everyone for the ideas, please keep them coming! Right now she's being cut off at daycare. Daycare Mom has been a saint about taking it away. I think right now I need to make it just for night time and then get rid of it completely. I think she'd react better to doing it in stages.

 

[smilie]

My question is why do you feel the need to get rid of it?
Both my kids had theirs til they were almost 4, both gave theirs to Santa with no trama, no drama and not a tear. Oh sure we had to deal with some peer and grandparent pressure but the dentist didn't care, our Ped didn't care so really, why should we? It provided comfort and security, this is not a bad thing.

When DS was about 2 we tried the while sleeping only and then would find him under his crib sneaking a fix. That is when we really asked ourselves the question, why now? Whats the big deal?

Really, whats the big deal? DS is a Jr in college, I assure you he did not take his Baba to college with him.

I really don't know my exact reason. I just honestly feel embarassed she still has it. I know there are times in public she absolutely does NOT need it, but it's there stuck in her mouth. Does that make me a bad mom? Wanting to get rid of it for that reason? I just think she's old enough to be without it.