Mom on Trial - Leaves child in Car for minutes

[HelenePA]

(is lunch with friends more important than kids?? you couldn't wait until after the kids' nap to have lunch? maybe just drive around a while and let them sleep? hmm...)

maybe you should just wait til the child is out of the house to do anything? I'm sorry my kids are #1 but I need to save my sanity sometimes too, ya know a happy mom makes for happy babies.

 

[katerkat]

why isn't it? people break into cars, people break in to houses, kids can get out of cars, they can get out of houses, why is it not the same??
cars can catch on fire, so can houses, hell I went on to my roof a a kid (13) and FELL off breaking both arms. I think I would have been safer locked sleeping in a car that day.

Heck, Russ fell and got six stitches when I was two feet away. Things happen and we can't always prevent them.

My kid is pretty unattended at home*, but because of stories like this, I never leave him in the car in public. I get worried when there's no parking immediately in front of the Blockbuster and I have to walk ten feet to drop a movie in the outside drop box. Not worried for Russ, but worried that someone might turn me in for child abuse.

*When I say unattended at home, I mean, he plays in his room, I go to the bathroom alone (when he lets me), I go out to the mailbox without him, etc. I even shower without locking him in the bathroom with me!

 

[mickeyboat]

I know alot of you think it weird that our kids don't have any alone time, but my kids are to high strung and to be left to there own devices lol they tear up the house if they were left to there own devices lol I really hope as they get older they will be more calm

as far as them playing in there bedrooms.my kids are on the go way to much to ever stay in one place for to long

See, I see your point, though. You have evaluated your childrens' temperments, and know that it is unsafe to allow your children to be by themselves. But you did not make a hard and fast rule before you had children that you would NEVER ever leave them alone. That is the difference as far as I can see.

The story is on page 4 of this thread.



it was a restaurant. not a picnic area.



They were a few tables into the restaurant...not sure exactly how far. The car was parked in street parking at a meter.



I'm happy to hear there are people like you out there! This thread was beginning to worry me...haha.

I mean, I don't think I'll be quite as extreme (depending on my kids' ages and stuff.) I'll leave my baby alone in a crib or pack n play while I use the bathroom and do laundry (but if I had pets, like cats and dogs I would NOT. That is a huge no-no.) While they are toddlers, I'll prefer to be in the same room as them....luckily our houses layout allows for this pretty easily. A little bit older...I'll be okay with them playing in their rooms and in the basement without me. but again...that's just me. People can do whatever they feel works best for them. But I am happy to hear that you are able to be around your children. Some people just have different priorities I guess. Kids are number 1. In the story I told about the parents eating in the restaurant, it seemed like their priorites were a bit odd (is lunch with friends more important than kids?? you couldn't wait until after the kids' nap to have lunch? maybe just drive around a while and let them sleep? hmm...)

Please report back once you have a kid, or two. Of course the kids are #1 - I can't think of one parent who would disagree with you. But there are judgment calls to be made EVERY DAY, and not every parent would choose the same answer. It is not a matter of priorities, it is a matter of judgment.

I am going to go back to page 4 and read your post.

Denae

 

[Mrs. Bee]

Sorry, this isn't very realistic. There are days my DH works from 9 in the morning until midnight.

You make a zillion little decisions every day as a parent. Some of them are more risky than others. Anyone who thinks they make NO risky decisions with their kids either has them in a crate or is kidding themselves.

Well, it isn't realistic for SOME. Thankfully for me...I will have a totally different situation. My husband is much more present during the day. It's a luxury that I am thankful I will have when we have children.

But if you haven't lived with a kid 24/7. then you don't really know what it's like.

You can't put off EVERYTHING until there's childcare. You sometimes have to soldier through on your own.

If you have three kids, you CAN"T tend to all of them at once....carrying all of them in from the car, for example. Someone WILL BE LEFT SLEEPING IN THE CAR ALONE while you carry them in one at a time.

Theories are one thing, real life another.

Obviously I can't know exactly what it's like. But that doesn't mean my thoughts and opinions are any less valid than someone's with children.

Put everything off until there is childcare? Again....I suppose I will be lucky in the fact that I have a very present husband. And dozens of nearby relatives that could help at the drop of a hat if needed. Maybe that makes me the minority. Either way...I feel blessed and lucky. And even though I worked in a daycare...I will never send my children to any type of daycare/childcare center. But again...that's just me.

 

[Mrs. Bee]

maybe you should just wait til the child is out of the house to do anything? I'm sorry my kids are #1 but I need to save my sanity sometimes too, ya know a happy mom makes for happy babies.

Yeah...I was that if I were her...I would have waited until my kids were awake. And then brought them inside to enjoy lunch with me.

 

[mickeyboat]

The story is on page 4 of this thread.

it was a restaurant. not a picnic area.

They were a few tables into the restaurant...not sure exactly how far. The car was parked in street parking at a meter.

Still not enough information, really. I would not have done it, but I don't have enough information to decide whether the kids were in any danger.

Denae

 

[Mrs. Bee]

See, I see your point, though. You have evaluated your childrens' temperments, and know that it is unsafe to allow your children to be by themselves. But you did not make a hard and fast rule before you had children that you would NEVER ever leave them alone. That is the difference as far as I can see.



Please report back once you have a kid, or two. Of course the kids are #1 - I can't think of one parent who would disagree with you. But there are judgment calls to be made EVERY DAY, and not every parent would choose the same answer. It is not a matter of priorities, it is a matter of judgment.

I am going to go back to page 4 and read your post.

Denae

Unfortunately, I HAVE encountered many parents that do not think their children are number 1. It's very sad to see. And it really makes my blood boil. Makes me wonder why they have kids at all. I've even heard parents SAY their kids are not their first priority. I guess that's the downside of having worked in the social work field. You see really depressing stuff. I suppose that's part of the reason I don't want to do it anymore. Stay-at-home MomsVille...here I come!

 

[Conservative Hippie]

Well count me in with the neglectful parents. I have a 5 month old and I'm a SAHM and I have *gasp* left her alone to play on the floor while I used the restroom or *gasp* left her alone in her pack-n-play to take a shower and sometimes I even *gasp* leave her in her crib to sleep while I sleep all the way across the house! Sometimes I go out to the mailbox without her too! Oh no!

I guess to be a good parent I'll have to learn to hold my pee until after 5 when DH can watch her.

 

[Beth76]

And like I said before...was it so important for her to donate the money at that exact time?? I don't understand why she couldn't do it later when her child wasn't asleep in the car.

I would bet the child fell asleep in the car.

 

[katerkat]

I'll leave my baby alone in a crib or pack n play while I use the bathroom and do laundry (but if I had pets, like cats and dogs I would NOT. That is a huge no-no.)

Oh crud, I'm in bigger trouble. Russ sleeps with Tycho, our cat, and he's been doing since about when Russ was six months old.

Put everything off until there is childcare? Again....I suppose I will be lucky in the fact that I have a very present husband. And dozens of nearby relatives that could help at the drop of a hat if needed. Maybe that makes me the minority. Either way...I feel blessed and lucky. And even though I worked in a daycare...I will never send my children to any type of daycare/childcare center. But again...that's just me.

Do feel blessed - seriously! I'm a military wife, 3000-some-odd miles from my family. My husband is deployed 2/3rds-3/4ths of the year. My son goes to a home daycare for preschool. His "teacher" is a good friend and I really cherish my four hours a week.

 

[mjkacmom]

It's SO easy to see who DOESN'T have kids on this thread! I, too, was the perfect parent before I had kids. Things I thought I would never do, things I judged other women for, I am now guilty of doing. How you think you're going to parent, and the reality, is very different.

 

[jodifla]

Unfortunately, I HAVE encountered many parents that do not think their children are number 1. It's very sad to see. And it really makes my blood boil. Makes me wonder why they have kids at all. I've even heard parents SAY their kids are not their first priority. I guess that's the downside of having worked in the social work field. You see really depressing stuff. I suppose that's part of the reason I don't want to do it anymore. Stay-at-home MomsVille...here I come!

Well, get that blood aboiling. I put my marriage's needs and some of my own before my son's wants.

 

[Carly_Roach]

You make a zillion little decisions every day as a parent. Some of them are more risky than others. Anyone who thinks they make NO risky decisions with their kids either has them in a crate or is kidding themselves.

Unfortunately in this day and age people think it's their business to mind everyone else's business - especially when children are involved. Your right to make a risky decision is slowly (but surely) being eroded and strangled by other well-meaning people who take it upon themselves to protect your child from what they consider to be lousy and harmful decision-making skills. Majority rules and the hell with what you think.

You (generic you, not specifically jodifla) may have been part of the majority in the past, therefore you felt you were right to do what you wanted to in the name of safety. Smoking is bad for you, second-hand smoke kills, anyone who smokes is a horrible person, stinks up the atmosphere, and pollutes. They should all be put into a small area and forced to breath their own offal.

But I always find it truly amazing and humourous how people, who used to be the majority, react when one of their "rights" is the one now being considered unsafe or unwanted by the new majority. (Cell phones being outlawed in cars anyone?)

When we give up rights in the name of safety, we deserve neither. This slippery slope began a long time ago in the 80's and really picked up steam after 9/11. This particular instance of a successful young hausfrau being hauled into jail for leaving her child unattended in her SUV while she stood nearby is just a sample of what we have to look forward to.

Personally, I hope to be dead when they outlaw salt, chocolate, fatty acids and sexual relations because they all carry potential deadly consequences. I don't really want to have to be forced to go to a fat farm until my weight reaches the majority-agreed-upon number that the government requires I be at.

Wow. OK. Sermon over. I get a little carried away sometimes.

 

[mjkacmom]

I would bet the child fell asleep in the car.

Of course the child fell asleep in the car - who puts a sleeping 2 year old in the carseat just to drop off some money?

 

[Mrs. Bee]

Oh crud, I'm in bigger trouble. Russ sleeps with Tycho, our cat, and he's been doing since about when Russ was six months old.



Do feel blessed - seriously! I'm a military wife, 3000-some-odd miles from my family. My husband is deployed 2/3rds-3/4ths of the year. My son goes to a home daycare for preschool. His "teacher" is a good friend and I really cherish my four hours a week.

First of all...Yes...I am very blessed. And thankful. I don't have a problem with daycares, in general. My nieces go to an in-home daycare that is wondeful. But they just aren't for me, personally.

You seriously let your cat sleep with your child when he was 6 months old? I'm sorry but that is a little scary. The risk of suffocation is frighening to me. As well as toxoplasmosis. Eek. I mean..obviously your child is okay. But to me, it's a little scary. Although...i won't have to worry about it because I am allergic to cats and therefore will never have any...haha.

 

[jodifla]

Unfortunately in this day and age people think it's their business to mind everyone else's business - especially when children are involved. Your right to make a risky decision is slowly (but surely) being eroded and strangled by other well-meaning people who take it upon themselves to protect your child from what they consider to be lousy and harmful decision-making skills. Majority rules and the hell with what you think.

You (generic you, not specifically jodifla) may have been part of the majority in the past, therefore you felt you were right to do what you wanted to in the name of safety. Smoking is bad for you, second-hand smoke kills, anyone who smokes is a horrible person, stinks up the atmosphere, and pollutes. They should all be put into a small area and forced to breath their own offal.

But I always find it truly amazing and humourous how people, who used to be the majority, react when one of their "rights" is the one now being considered unsafe or unwanted by the new majority. (Cell phones being outlawed in cars anyone?)

When we give up rights in the name of safety, we deserve neither. This slippery slope began a long time ago in the 80's and really picked up steam after 9/11. This particular instance of a successful young hausfrau being hauled into jail for leaving her child unattended in her SUV while she stood nearby is just a sample of what we have to look forward to.

Personally, I hope to be dead when they outlaw salt, chocolate, fatty acids and sexual relations because they all carry potential deadly consequences. I don't really want to have to be forced to go to a fat farm until my weight reaches the majority-agreed-upon number that the government requires I be at.

Wow. OK. Sermon over. I get a little carried away sometimes.

Ugh. Unfortunately, I believe you are right.

But I plan to go down slugging!

 

[Chloe'sMom]

Definitely abuse of police power, IMHO.

I totally disagree that what she did was child endangerment.

I agree - not to bring up the whole shopping cart debate -but when my child goes shopping with me - I put her in the car and strap her in while I unload my groceries - I then close the car -lock and arm the car and walk the 5 to sometimes 15 feet to where the carts get collected and then I walk back to my car.

How else am I suppose to do all that?

Overstepping of bounds with the police for sure.

~Amanda

 

[jenm2878]

My DH and I always comment how we're doing our best parenting now - before we have any kids! Some stuff though, are no brainers. I wonder what's wrong with parents that bring their kids to bars - you don't have to have children to think that's a little...off. I'm sure my opinions on stuff will change when I have kids, but I can't imagine never ever leaving their sides. Seriously, that's enough to scare anyone into not reproducing!

Disclaimer: I am in no way implying I'd be a neglectful parent, but I do still hold out the fantasy of peeing and showering by myself after children.

 

[HelenePA]

It's SO easy to see who DOESN'T have kids on this thread! I, too, was the perfect parent before I had kids. Things I thought I would never do, things I judged other women for, I am now guilty of doing. How you think you're going to parent, and the reality, is very different.

it is easy isn't it? being a parent before I was a parent was SOO much easier than the real thing.

My kids run wild my cats run wild (my dog is to old to even run) there are cat/children races in my house daily, I dont think my cats sleep with my kids but honestly I dont know dont really care either.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I know alot of you think it weird that our kids don't have any alone time, but my kids are to high strung and to be left to there own devices lol they tear up the house if they were left to there own devices lol I really hope as they get older they will be more calm

as far as them playing in there bedrooms.my kids are on the go way to much to ever stay in one place for to long

My youngest was that way when he was younger, too. As a 1yo he pulled chairs over to the kitchen counter and got into high cabinets, wrote on the walls, called 9-1-1, etc, etc. He's now 8yo and is fairly calm, thank goodness.