Mom of new driver needs sympathy

[yoopermom]

DS16 got his license Nov. 30, and a "new" (used) vehicle from his grandparents that same day. DH said, "He'll crash it within 3 months, being a new driver in the winter". I hoped he was wrong, but just got the call that DS put it in the ditch. We do NOT have comp on it, so it's going to sit in the garage until DS can come up with the $$ to get it running again. Hard lesson learned, I'm afraid. (And yes, we debated adding comp, but the added expense, plus how much our rates would have gone up if he had gotten in an accident made us decide not to. Was it the right decision, we'll see...) Dreading going home to a heartbroken DS and an "I told you so" DH.

Terri

 

[SC Minnie]

you have my sympathies. DD has been driving a year and has had her own car about 6 months.

 

[minniebeth]

My DS will be 16 soon and has been driving with temps. Not an easy journey.

 

[yoopermom]

Perhaps we can start a support group. I'm glad he's fine, but how many times do you have to tell them, "Slow down, the roads are snow covered and slippery"? He's a good kid, just has to learn the lesson the hard way, I guess...

Thanks!
Terri

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

You allowed you child to get behind the wheel of a car you knew he didn't have the skills to drive in the winter. You made your insurance decisions on the assumption that he would have an accident?

You are incredibly lucky that your precious child is alive right now.

 

[tink20]

At least he wasn't hurt, thank goodness. I worry about DD, everytime it is raining really hard out. I can't even imagine having to deal with snow and ice. I always say a little prayer everytime she leaves, "God please bring my baby back home, safe and sound." Hope he doesn't feel too bad.

 

[Hannathy]

My level of sympathy would depend on WHY he ended up in the ditch! Was he just going to fast? was it so bad out he had no business being on the roads? was it bad enough out that as a NEW driver he had no business being on the road? did a deer run in front of him? did another driver force him into the ditch? Was it a freak patch of black ice? I would have to have these questions answered before i decided whether to kill him, or have a real good talk with him and his decisions or to sympathize with him or to possibly help him get his car fixed.


As the mother of a teen I personally don't believe in kids having their own cars.

 

[Marionnette]

DS16 got his license Nov. 30, and a "new" (used) vehicle from his grandparents that same day. DH said, "He'll crash it within 3 months, being a new driver in the winter". I hoped he was wrong, but just got the call that DS put it in the ditch. We do NOT have comp on it, so it's going to sit in the garage until DS can come up with the $$ to get it running again. Hard lesson learned, I'm afraid. (And yes, we debated adding comp, but the added expense, plus how much our rates would have gone up if he had gotten in an accident made us decide not to. Was it the right decision, we'll see...) Dreading going home to a heartbroken DS and an "I told you so" DH.

Terri

Both of my teen drivers were in fender benders within a year of getting their licenses. Minor damage on a very old vehicle with no collision insurance. Even experienced drivers can put their car in a ditch when the weather is bad. Unless your son was being careless or driving impaired, I would try to be supportive. But I agree with your decision to make him pay for the repairs. Privileges come with responsibility.

 

[mamacatnv]

Tough lesson to learn. Hopefully the damage is not too severe and your DS and DH can pull a little, tug some and get it on the road again. Thankfully your DS walked away, a car is fixable and a bit of humility is good for a young driver.

We didn't carry comp on DS's vehicles until he had been driving a few years. Now we have full coverage. When his last car was stolen we were so thankful for that full coverage but often with teens and their first cars the cost of the insurance just cannot be justified plus when you make a claim what it can do to premiums is insane.

 

[Magic Mom]

DS16 got his license Nov. 30, and a "new" (used) vehicle from his grandparents that same day. DH said, "He'll crash it within 3 months, being a new driver in the winter". I hoped he was wrong, but just got the call that DS put it in the ditch. We do NOT have comp on it, so it's going to sit in the garage until DS can come up with the $$ to get it running again. Hard lesson learned, I'm afraid. (And yes, we debated adding comp, but the added expense, plus how much our rates would have gone up if he had gotten in an accident made us decide not to. Was it the right decision, we'll see...) Dreading going home to a heartbroken DS and an "I told you so" DH.

Terri

I don't have any advice, but I can give you my sympathy. The same thing happened to us. DS got in a wreck (ruled partially his fault) his first six months of driving too.

 

[yoopermom]

Believe me, we don't let him drive when the weather is bad or late at night, but today is a bright clear sunny day. DH just called to say that DS just "caught" the snow along the side of the road and it pulled him into the ditch. He hit the radiator on something, so that's at least the only major damage. DS is just fine, a little shaken. He's not going to be "punished", since it was just an accident/inexperience, but he is going to be driven around by his mom again until he can afford the repairs...

Thanks (most) everyone!

Terri

 

[mamacatnv]

You allowed you child to get behind the wheel of a car you knew he didn't have the skills to drive in the winter. You made your insurance decisions on the assumption that he would have an accident?

You are incredibly lucky that your precious child is alive right now.

Oh please! Really, this is uncalled for.

 

[njmom47]

I have plenty of sympathy for you and your ds... (see my signature)
My dd (17 in May) had a really crappy car until the beginning of Dec when I got her a "new" used car which SHE is paying me for.
Within the first week, she backed into someone's car in the school parking lot..of course her car sustained no damage, but the other car need repairs in the approximate amount of $1,500.00. Thank goodness we know an auto body guy. Then she went over a drainage grate too fast and wrecked the radiator. She left her car at her friend's house and has not driven in the snow at all. At least they are safe; but expensive lessons learned for sure!

 

[yoopermom]

As the mother of a teen I personally don't believe in kids having their own cars.

My DH is in total agreement with you on this, and really didn't want the grandparents to give him one. The only way we ended up agreeing to it was that it be put in MY name, and it's really not "his" until he goes off to college. My vehicle, my rules! I would have let him run around in our old "beater" truck (that's worth less than 1K), but the grandparents were worried about safety issues.

Ah, well. Now he'll be home more to spend time with me.

Terri

 

[mamacatnv]

Believe me, we don't let him drive when the weather is bad or late at night, but today is a bright clear sunny day. DH just called to say that DS just "caught" the snow along the side of the road and it pulled him into the ditch. He hit the radiator on something, so that's at least the only major damage. DS is just fine, a little shaken. He's not going to be "punished", since it was just an accident/inexperience, but he is going to be driven around by his mom again until he can afford the repairs...

Thanks (most) everyone!

Terri

They can't learn if we don't let them out. I slid into a small ditch when we first moved to snow country and I slid nose first into the side of the building where I work when I misjudged the ice in the parking lot after living in snow country for several years.

Perhaps your DH and DS can wander off to the local wrecking yard and find the parts to fix. Having a teen who drives is scary, its another step towards adulthood and IMO a necessary step. With each new step they gain more independence and we parents learn to let go a bit more. Its not easy, but its necessary.

 

[yoopermom]

I have plenty of sympathy for you and your ds... (see my signature)
My dd (17 in May) had a really crappy car until the beginning of Dec when I got her a "new" used car which SHE is paying me for.
Within the first week, she backed into someone's car in the school parking lot..of course her car sustained no damage, but the other car need repairs in the approximate amount of $1,500.00. Thank goodness we know an auto body guy. Then she went over a drainage grate too fast and wrecked the radiator. She left her car at her friend's house and has not driven in the snow at all. At least they are safe; but expensive lessons learned for sure!

DS spends lots of time in NJ at his karate doings, and I'm always amazed at how they drive there! When people say to me, "How do you drive in the country with unplowed roads/deer/etc" I always say that I'd rather drive here than in Jersey ! Good to know that my teen isn't the only one...

Terri

 

[Pakey]

I survived 3 teenage boy drivers. It wasn't easy. There were 6 accidents between the 3; that included 2 "totalled" vehicles and one accident with personal injury.

I strongly recommend an umbrella liability policy for anyone who has new drivers at home.

 

[yoopermom]

I strongly recommend an umbrella liability policy for anyone who has new drivers at home.

Do you mean liability, though? We have that. What we don't have is comp. If there had been another car involved, it would have been covered (which is my understanding of liability).

We never had these issues when he was riding his bike...

Terri

 

[mamacatnv]

My DH is in total agreement with you on this, and really didn't want the grandparents to give him one. The only way we ended up agreeing to it was that it be put in MY name, and it's really not "his" until he goes off to college. My vehicle, my rules! I would have let him run around in our old "beater" truck (that's worth less than 1K), but the grandparents were worried about safety issues.

Ah, well. Now he'll be home more to spend time with me.

Terri

We always controlled the keys. DS is 21 and a full time college student. We still hold the title in our name on the vehicle we "allow" him to have and to drive.
The grandparents have a valid point. We too had an old beater of a truck that we were going to let DS drive. A friend of ours is a cop and he talked us out of it, stating the lack of airbags, crash cages and other newer safety features. The beater was a 1972 Pickup. We put him into an older Honda Accord with airbags instead. Never regretted that decision.

We supplied the vehicle but DS had to pay for his own insurance and maintain a certain GPA to keep his keys. He still has all the same rules except now he also pays for his own gas. He lives on campus and needs a vehicle to get to his part time job. This method has worked well for us. Every family is different but when DS was able to drive it took a huge load off of me.

 

[mamacatnv]

Do you mean liability, though? We have that. What we don't have is comp. If there had been another car involved, it would have been covered (which is my understanding of liability).

We never had these issues when he was riding his bike...

Terri

She is talking about a policy that goes above and beyond the scope of coverage your auto policy covers. We too added an umbrella liability policy but we did it when my DH turned 50 not when the teenager started driving. The umbrella policy further protects our home, assets etc. in the event that someone decides to sue us beyond the scope of our auto policy.

It has nothing to do with covering our own vehicles.