Modern Day Etiquette Question- re:Telephones and Texting

[DisneyBamaFan]

With these days of so many people not having a land line I don't think that's fair to expect any more.

No one I personally know turns off their cell phone at night.

Unless I'm on a plane my cell phone is turned on, and that holds true for most people I know..

Agreed

 

[bicker]

With these days of so many people not having a land line I don't think that's fair to expect any more.

I still think it is fair. You're talking about people who are making a decision to switch to a newer technology, with the ability to control whether it makes any sound or vibration, and control whether it does so separably for voice and TXT. Folks who don't want to be disturbed have full control. And there is no way around TXT being an asynchronous communications mechanism, just like email.

 

[Scurvy]

No one I personally know turns off their cell phone at night.

Unless I'm on a plane my cell phone is turned on, and that holds true for most people I know..

Same here.

My opinion is that you can email 24 hours a day. Anything that might make a noise that would wake someone (calling, texting, ringing the doorbell) needs to stop at 9:00 PM and not start till after 9:00 AM except in case of emergency. Of course that's only if you don't know the person well. If you know them well then presumably they have told you what they prefer - or at least you could ask them if they haven't offered the info.

 

[Scurvy]

I still think it is fair. You're talking about people who are making a decision to switch to a newer technology, with the ability to control whether it makes any sound or vibration, and control whether it does so separably for voice and TXT. Folks who don't want to be disturbed have full control. And there is no way around TXT being an asynchronous communications mechanism, just like email.

The problem with this is that some people need to be accessable during the night. I can't silence my phone because I have an ill family member who might need to call me. Cell phones aren't really all that new, and it's becoming more common for people to do without land lines. I would think most people who would be texting would also be aware that a phone which is receiving a text often makes a noise. I would hope that most people would want to be considerate to those they text. It might be wise to be sure that they do indeed silence their phone before going to sleep if you intend to text them late at night. I certainly think that would be the considerate thing to do. Of course that is easier with texting - typically texts are sent between people who already know each other. On the other hand, people often call those that they have never met or only know very casually.

ETA - My phone does not have the option to silence only text. While it's not the newest model it is a fairly nice one, which leads me to suspect that many other people probably have that issue as well.

 

[Pakey]

I would not call or text anyone after 9pm (except when I forget the 3 hour time change and accidentally wake up an east coast friend) but I'm fine receiving calls/tests up to 11pm.

My parents, close to 80 now, think it's terrible to get a call after 8 pm. I often forget that rule with them but my mother never fails to remind me when I call at 8:03 that I'm the only person in the world who she knows who calls that late.

 

[threeboysmom]

Same here.

My opinion is that you can email 24 hours a day. Anything that might make a noise that would wake someone (calling, texting, ringing the doorbell) needs to stop at 9:00 PM and not start till after 9:00 AM except in case of emergency. Of course that's only if you don't know the person well. If you know them well then presumably they have told you what they prefer - or at least you could ask them if they haven't offered the info.

Except... some phones even make noises when an email is received. My husband's phone does. And I get very upset when he leaves his cell in the bedroom and an email comes in in the middle of the night. Turn off the stinking phone!!!! It's not like he needs it while he sleeps.... I don't blame the people texting or emailing. Not their fault he has the phone turned on and in the bedroom in the middle of the night.

 

[Scurvy]

Except... some phones even make noises when an email is received. My husband's phone does. And I get very upset when he leaves his cell in the bedroom and an email comes in in the middle of the night. Turn off the stinking phone!!!! It's not like he needs it while he sleeps.... I don't blame the people texting or emailing. Not their fault he has the phone turned on and in the bedroom in the middle of the night.

I hadn't thought about smart phones when I posted that - I was just thinking about computers. Actually I didn't even remember alert tones for emails at all. They drive me crazy because I get so much email, so I don't use them and I forget that some people do. I suppose even emails can be a problem for some people. Today's technology certainly makes it easy to be inconsiderate without even realizing you are doing it! I guess one possible solution for you would be for your husband to silence those tones at night if it's possible on his phone.


Even though your husband doesn't have to have his phone on in the bedroom in the middle of the night, many of us do. I still think it's better not to try to call or text (and now maybe even email!) after 9:00 unless you know for sure the recipient is okay with later than that.

 

[JR6ooo4]

9pm also. if it is that important that it must be text-ed at midnight, it is probably important enough to call.

If you want to send somehting you are thinking of right now, send a delayed text. delayed to regular daylight hours.

or save it in drafts folder and send it in the morning.

Mikeeee

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Except... some phones even make noises when an email is received. My husband's phone does. And I get very upset when he leaves his cell in the bedroom and an email comes in in the middle of the night. Turn off the stinking phone!!!! It's not like he needs it while he sleeps.... I don't blame the people texting or emailing. Not their fault he has the phone turned on and in the bedroom in the middle of the night.

FYI - you can create custom alert settings on smart phones. I created a "sleep" mode, which I turn on at night. It puts all event alerts on silent mode and only leaves the phone alert on. It takes me about 2 seconds to change alert modes...

 

[BeccaBellePA]

I guess 9 is my magic number because I hate calling anyone before 9 AM too.

Yep...never before 9am or after 9pm for me. Except for my one friend who works super early shifts, so we sometimes talk during our morning commutes at 6:30 am.

 

[AshleyW]

I work 3:30 to midnight, so it's a little different for me.. "acceptable" times for me to receive text messages/calls is from noon-3am. That's when I'm awake, and I don't mind getting calls or texts as long as I'm awake. Most of my friends work late too, so I feel comfortable texting them until about 1am. As far as my family goes, and anyone else I know that works day shift - usually 9 or 10pm is the cutoff for me, depending on who it is. I wouldn't call/text any earlier than 10am - if I was ever awake that early.