Mixed Marriage 2: The Conversion Continues..... now complete

[TwinkieDaddy]

Starting............NOW!

 

[chucklhd]

Don't do it TD Don't do it!!! Please let her come back there are reports to be written, science lessons to be taught, stories to be told, and fun to be had. She promises not to neglect the maming of anyone elses children again...although those hairstyles could be very stylish in the Florida heat! Please send her back!!

 

[TwinkieDaddy]

Yeah, short little cute hairdo if you are Sinead O'Conners kid!

And when TM says "nursing the baby" she means she drags our poor little son into the computer room and "makes" him breastfeed because then she has an excuse to be on the boards (her multitasking claim). Poor kid, tries to get down and go play and she keeps dragging him into her lap and making him nurse. This might be a problem when he starts dating.

 

[javamom]

Yeah, short little cute hairdo if you are Sinead O'Conners kid!

And when TM says "nursing the baby" she means she drags our poor little son into the computer room and "makes" him breastfeed because then she has an excuse to be on the boards (her multitasking claim). Poor kid, tries to get down and go play and she keeps dragging him into her lap and making him nurse. This might be a problem when he starts dating.

I think this may be the funniest thing EVAH posted on the DISboards???

 

[UtahMama]

Shall I get involved? Heckya!!!!

TwinkieMama, you will set womenkind back to the 50's if you "obey" your husband! Does he want you to wear pearls and stilletto heels while you fetch his slippers and newspaper? DONT ANSWER THAT TWINKIE DADDY!

MY dearest darling 2 year old just gave herself a Desitin facial while I took a nap. She actually did it RIGHT in front of her daddy-o who can NOT multi-task worth diddly squat.

TwinkieDaddy- you cant force-breast-feed a 1 year old! I've tried. No, not unless she hog ties him. And seeing how she's DISsing at the same time, hog tying is unlikely. Breastfed babies are 74% better adjusted adults than their formula fed peers. I am a La Leche League graduate x4.

 

[TwinkieDaddy]

OK, I love this because this is why I am here.... to set the record straight.

javamom, you are correct, it is the funniest thing EVER on these boards.

Utahmama, first-calling it breastfeeding is a stretch, it is more like holding him in her lap to fool me into thinking she is breastfeeding. Second - we need more of the fifties, they had great music, great clothes and my wife doesn't need to fetch my slippers and newspaper (my dog will do that), my wife will be too busy cooking in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant (if and when I ever get to touch her again due to pinkeye infections).

 

[tinkerbellang]

But TwinkieDaddy - if you ban TwinkieMama from the DIS then you're not going to like the consequences - and then how in the world will you ever keep her barefoot and PREGNANT??

Just remember - women really do have the control . . .

Don't pick a fight you can't win - now, come on, take back the ban from TM . . .

 

[MomPlanner22]

Sorry TwinkieDaddy but I have to agree with the rest of the ladies -- you don't make any baby breastfeed, especially a 1 year old. Their revolt (or at least my kid's revolt) includes biting in places even Peter Pan shouldn't bite.

Loving this report (and the last one too) and really looking forward to more TT (Twinkie Trips!).

 

[UtahMama]

TwinkieMama,

I just wanted to tell you that you are a great mama! To change your work schedule so that you can be home for your child, and the fact that he is your stepchild makes it all the more amazing, even though I am sure you love him as much as if you had carried him yourself. I just wanted to let you know that you are greatly appeciated, in case you hadn't already been told. You have one lucky husband, but I am sure he already knows that.

TwinkieMama,

I think you need to listen to heaven2dc's idea and go with it. You seem to be a talented writer and you could use all that money that you will make to take your family to the "World" (I still can't believe I just used the word world in that manner) every year.

THIS IS GOING TO HEAT UP!!!!! HOT HOT HOT!!!!
EVERYONE POP YOURSELVES A BUCKET OF POPCORN AND WATCH TWINKIE DADDY SHIMMY OUT OF THIS!!! (I'm goood)

 

[TwinkieMama]

Ban. Ha. I laugh at your ban. However I will be busy the next couple of days (have yet to pack, must read and follow the meeting other DISsers thread, only own 1 LGMHPC, have to shuffle some last minute ADRs and price out all the options for the new package discounts just made available even though we are not going again this year) so I probably won't be posting... I just didn't want you to think I was taking this "ban" thing seriously.

Thank you to all the ladies who stepped forward to point out that you can NOT force feed by nursing. If you could I would keep it up indefinately because it is the best diet going. When the twins were little that was 1000 calories a day!
The baby is sleeping like, well, a baby since he played hard all afternoon. Sat at the table and tossed his pasta on the floor and then had a nice little nursing/DIS session and fell asleep for the night. I am totally mushy and sentimental about him because he is the Last One.

The next installment is all written but it on the computer in the baby's room (the office until recently). I'll probably sneak in and post it soon.

javamom- you changed your siggie!- is the NorVAY line inspired by me? or did you giggle too every time they talked about the spirit of NorVAY in the cool movie at the end of the Spirit of NorVAY ride aka Maelstrom (which has it's own union)

UtahMama- I TRIPLE DOG DARE you to take the mic and give the real Jungle Cruise in all of it's glory (complete with UMish asides like WHO AM I?) the next time you get a lame CM. And yes he does and yes he most certainly is. YKWIM.

 

[TwinkieMama]

So having received our Jungle Wishes we are now infused with new purpose. We can’t leave the Magic kingdom now! No! We must get autographs! Must meet characters! In no time flat we run into Baloo- we already saw him at Animal Kingdom but Hakuna Matata baby, get in line and get his siggie again. We decide against going to the Country Fair Character Greet tent because DS isn’t into princesses and we already have the Fab Five from Chef Mickey’s. I know TweedleDum and TweedleDee are usually easy to find in Fantasyland and if we head over via Pirates of the Caribbean we can ride again and maybe go ahead with our purchases since it doesn’t look like we are going to be riding much more in our mad hunt for characters and DS is getting a little antsy about maybe forgetting. And since we did technically forget to get him a souvenir on our first trip and he has been good this whole trip it seems a reasonable request.
So we go ride Pirates. Again. And we love it. Again. And we don’t get sent to Davy Jones’s locker…or maybe we do because we exit the ride into a marketing nirvana. (You have to admire Disney even while they pick your pocket. The themes of the shops and the artful array of tempting merchandise and they way you feel like you are constantly finding little out of the way shops with hidden treasures and you can’t help comparison shopping even though you KNOW it all owned by Walt and they hire people with advanced math degrees to price this stuff to within three decimal places of your balking limit… I am not kidding about this… or even exaggerating… I have seen the job postings and I am trying my hardest to get my dear sister, the one with the advanced math degree, to apply for them… I have even offered to go with her while she interviews out of the kindness of my heart )
So we settle in to do some old fashioned shopping. DS has his eye on a sword. We find it. Great choice. But wait… he still has money left. Should he save it for somewhere else? Like the World of Disney on our way home. No.
He did a good job on saving it thus far and now the thrill of spending has entered his blood like a drug. He wants some of the pretty tumbled rocks … you know the “gems” that you can buy… and a leatherette loot bag. I hate to destroy the magic and they do look wonderful in the honest to goodness treasure box but you can buy these babies anywhere. Like at the Science Museum in Durham, NC or from the J.C. Penny’s Christmas catalog. No need to waste Disney Dollars on them son.
Now he has to deliberate. I can respect that. After much thought he wants to buy a pirate flag. This is fitting since it is like the one he waved to start the rides in 1998. It would look great in his room too. Now he just has a few dollars left- enough to get a little hook hand and one of those big huge lollipops. We negotiate that the lollipop will not be consumed until the car ride home. I figure with the size of that thing it will take about to the South Carolina line to eat and I always wanted a lollipop as big as my head when I was little…. So knock yourself out DS... also at the time I had a good job with the world's best benefit package so he could rot his little teeth out to his heart's content. DS is such a smart little shopper that I need to spot him some change to cover the tax.

Now all this time DH has been in a store.
With cool pirate merchanidise.
Unsupervised.

What is the worst that could happen?

 

[UtahMama]

UtahMama- I TRIPLE DOG DARE you to take the mic and give the real Jungle Cruise in all of it's glory (complete with UMish asides like WHO AM I?) the next time you get a lame CM. And yes he does and yes he most certainly is. YKWIM.

How's This... (NEVER triple dog dare UtahMama!!!)


" Good Morning Ladies and Gentleman..Welcome aboard the Amazon Queen! I am your skipper, UtahMama. We're just waiting for a few more suckers, I mean, sailors to come aboard. Everybody turn around and wave goodbye to the beautiful people standing there on the docks. And wave goodbye to the ugly one's. Ya, they have feelings too.

Hey, where are you matching lime green folks from? KANS-as? As in the yellow-brick-road, Kansas? As in "We're not IN anymore"? Why is your 12 year old son, I'm guessing his age of course, hiding behind what appears to be a very large Twinkie???? Never mind folks, I do not wanna know...
Those are sure cute daughters you have! Are they twins? Could you please explain to me the difference between fraternal and identical twinning??? (just to TD, hand over mic:"Dude, you must have been ON that night!" wink and point a finger "gun" at him) Twins run in families dontcha know...

Anyways, Back to our Cruise!!
Here we come to the Sacred Elephant Bathing Pool. Some people say that only elephants come to bathe in these waters...I say that's a "CROC"!

If you have your camera's ready, feel free to take pictures of the elephants..they all have their trunks on!

We're now entering Banana Country...so keep your eyes "peeled"!

See those guys with their Jeep? Ya, I passed by them yesterday...they were having a hard time getting their Jeep started. Looks like they finally got it to "turn over"!

Over here you can see a gorilla playing with a crocodille. Now there's something you dont see everyday. But I do. Every. Day.

OHHH! Lookie there! Those lions are protecting that sleeping zebra! Ahhhh. He looks "dead" tired! Sweet lions...

At this time I'd like to take a moment and point out some of the rare and exotic plant life here in the jungle...(point. point. point)

Over there is some of the natives...let me see if I can translate what they're chanting for you..."You are dinner...You look tastey" ..."We like Twinkies"!
Gee, I wonder what they meant by that?

Ohhh, there's a Burmese Python sitting in a tree..."H .I .S. S. I. N. G." !

Over here is Trader Sam. The "head" salesman of the jungle. Looks like business has been "shrinking" lately. He's having a 2 for 1 sale. Two of his heads for one of yours! Either way you slice it, you still come out a head!

This brings us to the scarriest part of our cruise...It's called "The Return to Civilization"...Well, I'm having so much "fun" right now, I think I'll go on it again...and again...and again. KIDS, stay in school or you TOO can be a professional Jungle Cruise Boat Driver!

I'd like to thank the Florida state work release program for allowing me to spend this time with you today. Yes, the Jungle Cruise isnt just a job, it's a life sentence.


(I KNOW!)

 

[smwf71]

I will never go on the jungle cruise again without thinking of you all.

UM, that was quite impressive!!!!

 

[Mumbler]

UM

That was AMAZING!!!!! What are you doing wasting your time on the Dis boards, you should be doiing stand-up somewhere. Didn't they have some reality show about the funniest mom? That's you for sure!!!

Twinkiemama, great post as usual. Now get packing!!! and be sure to keep an eye on Sinead 1 and 2, poor babies.

 

[PrincessV]

UM, thank you, thank you, thank you for this awesome start to my Friday!

How's This... (NEVER triple dog dare UtahMama!!!)


" Good Morning Ladies and Gentleman..Welcome aboard the Amazon Queen! I am your skipper, UtahMama. We're just waiting for a few more suckers, I mean, sailors to come aboard. Everybody turn around and wave goodbye to the beautiful people standing there on the docks. And wave goodbye to the ugly one's. Ya, they have feelings too.

Hey, where are you matching lime green folks from? KANS-as? As in the yellow-brick-road, Kansas? As in "We're not IN anymore"? Why is your 12 year old son, I'm guessing his age of course, hiding behind what appears to be a very large Twinkie???? Never mind folks, I do not wanna know...
Those are sure cute daughters you have! Are they twins? Could you please explain to me the difference between fraternal and identical twinning??? (just to TD, hand over mic:"Dude, you must have been ON that night!" wink and point a finger "gun" at him) Twins run in families dontcha know...

Anyways, Back to our Cruise!!
Here we come to the Sacred Elephant Bathing Pool. Some people say that only elephants come to bathe in these waters...I say that's a "CROC"!

If you have your camera's ready, feel free to take pictures of the elephants..they all have their trunks on!

We're now entering Banana Country...so keep your eyes "peeled"!

See those guys with their Jeep? Ya, I passed by them yesterday...they were having a hard time getting their Jeep started. Looks like they finally got it to "turn over"!

Over here you can see a gorilla playing with a crocodille. Now there's something you dont see everyday. But I do. Every. Day.

OHHH! Lookie there! Those lions are protecting that sleeping zebra! Ahhhh. He looks "dead" tired! Sweet lions...

At this time I'd like to take a moment and point out some of the rare and exotic plant life here in the jungle...(point. point. point)

Over there is some of the natives...let me see if I can translate what they're chanting for you..."You are dinner...You look tastey" ..."We like Twinkies"!
Gee, I wonder what they meant by that?

Ohhh, there's a Burmese Python sitting in a tree..."H .I .S. S. I. N. G." !

Over here is Trader Sam. The "head" salesman of the jungle. Looks like business has been "shrinking" lately. He's having a 2 for 1 sale. Two of his heads for one of yours! Either way you slice it, you still come out a head!

This brings us to the scarriest part of our cruise...It's called "The Return to Civilization"...Well, I'm having so much "fun" right now, I think I'll go on it again...and again...and again. KIDS, stay in school or you TOO can be a professional Jungle Cruise Boat Driver!

I'd like to thank the Florida state work release program for allowing me to spend this time with you today. Yes, the Jungle Cruise isnt just a job, it's a life sentence.


(I KNOW!)

 

[jakensydsmom]

This year I'm think of getting one of those small tape recorders (like the Doctors use on tv )

Have you seen michael Keaton in Night Shift? I think that's the name of the movie, and yes I am dating myslef here. But that gives me such a funny image!!

Go Twinkie - I'm so behind in this report but loving every minute of it.

 

[pilferk]

TM, once again, great trip installments...

BUT UtahMama, man did you steal her thunder!

That was impressive, amazing, and I'm now copying and pasting it into a document, saving it, emailing it to myself at home, and will be SURE to bring it with me on my next Dis trip...because so help me I'm going to heckle the living daylights out of our Jungle Cruise skipper with it (giving you full credit at the end, of course).

Funny, funny stuff!

Jungle wishes,
pilferk

 

[UtahMama]

 

[princesslibby]

TM and UM

 

[ukwildcat]

Loving it. Took last evening and all this morning to catch up. Sounds like you are having (had) a great trip. Looking forward to the rest, as well as future trips.

On a side note, how about a family update? Since it is quickly becoming clear that I have no friends outside of the Dis.