Missing my son this weekend

[torinsmom]

Just feeling sad and wishing the weekend would move faster. DS15 didn't want to go to the beach with his dad. but dad insisted. He called me last night upset because his guitar was broken(he took it with him) and I could hear his dad yelling at him because he wasn't down with the "rest of the family"(dad's gf and her two kids). Haven't heard from him today. I'm hoping his dad did not take him phone from him after the call, and he will call me in a better state later. Wish I could get out of the house to get my mind off it, but I am detoxing from caffeine and feel like cr@p right now.

Marsha

 

[NikitaZee]

I hope this weekend flies by for you and your son. I thought about your previous thread for some reason these past few days. I'm not a single mom so I can't truly understand how you're feeling, but I found myself imagining myself in your shoes and feeling sad. Maybe you haven't heard from him today because he's having a great time at the beach. Can you send him a text? I'd get a good movie and a glass of wine and chill - maybe it'll help you relax. Good luck.

 

[JerseyJanice]

 

[shortbun]

Sorry. Remember, 'that which does not kill you only makes you stronger.'

He'll be ok, he's 15 and a boy. He can go into a boy trance and leave them without leaving the room. Hopefully his guitar can be repaired.

 

[torinsmom]

Thanks! Yes, I hope he is having a good time. He refuses to wear shorts, but I did send his swim trunks. I will either get his guitar fixed or buy him a new one next week. He loves his music.

I don't know why I am so worried this time. I keep thinking about us being in Orlando in three weeks and that makes me feel a little better.

 

[snoopypharmd]

I am sure he is ok. He is probably at the beach/doing something fun/"people watching." OR giving them the worst silent treatment ever!!

I am not a single parent but I have 2 stepdaughters. We have joint custody and so we switch out every other week. It is weird when they aren't with us - so I understand (kinda - I am sure it much worse for you and my husband) We are forever saying "the girls would be doing --- or they would say --- or I wish the girls were here."

The best thing I think would be to concentrate on your upcoming awesome trip!

You are so close. We are gonna take Nathan in August. (The girls are going on July with their mom "supposedly"). But we are going to Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge TN on June 12 All 7 of us! This will be our first big family trip so we will see how Disney will be next year ... hummmmmmm

Hope the weekend FLIES by for you and you hear from him soon

 

[Imzadi]

Ouch! It's a double whammy for you detoxing too. The weekend will be over well before you & DS know it.

 

[torinsmom]

Yep, we leave on June 16th and will be staying until June 25th. Staying one night at a cheap hotel, one night onsite at Universal and then 7 nights in a vacation condo. I know we will have a blast.

I hope he is having fun, at least for part of the weekend. Nothing like being bored to make the time drag by.

Marsha

 

[Robinrs]

I AM a single mom and I understand. He's strong, YOU raised him, and he'll be fine... especially in 3 weeks!!

Hang in there, Mom.

 

[themilesfamily]

OP just giving you . It must be incredibly hard -- I know I would be stressed.

I agree with all the PP's who said that your son will get through this and you will have a great time on your upcoming vacation.

 

[torinsmom]

His phone is going straight to voice mail, so now I AM stressed. I don't know if I should call his dad's phone and ask to speak to him or what. What do you think?

Marsha

 

[NikitaZee]

If it were me, I'd call. You earned that right when he was born! Good luck.

 

[torinsmom]

I texted DS and he just called a few minutes ago. He didn't say much, but I did get to talk to him at least and hear that he is okay. That made me feel better. I told him to call me tomorrow and then he will be home on Monday.

Marsha

 

[PatsGirl]

I know that DD's father gets upset with me if I call to check in on her. He feels it is his time and I should let him parent her in his way. I must admit that I do agree with him and wouldn't want him second-guessing me every day. I have no problem with him calling her and vice versa and they do speak several times each week now that she is 13 and has a phone but when she was younger he basically had to go through me to communicate with her and I know he felt "removed". Because she now has a phone I know that she will call me if she needs me

Your son is old enough to suck it up if he's having a bad weekend. I remember your previous post and this may give him the "ammunition" he needs to start passing on the weekend trips with Dad and start having a more teen/adult relationship that isn't based on overnight visits if that is what your son wants now. Visitations, like people, should change over time.

 

[torinsmom]

Yeah, that's why I didn't want to go through dad. He tends to get defensive when I call. I usually don't, but it being a 4 day visit(first one that long ever) and DS not wanting to go in the first place made me want to check in with him. He never calls between visits, so I guess it seems weird to him that I would miss DS when he wasn't with me.

Well, DS got some big news down there. Seems as if this gf is pregnant now. She is my age, 39, and has a 15 and 17 year old. Ought to be interesting.......


Marsha

 

[bitohoney]

I know how you feel DD17 just left for the beach with her friend and I am going to worry the entire time.
And her dad who lives in GA wants her to come visit. The problem is, he didn't want anything to do with her until last year and he's been here to visit twice so he's still a stranger to her. She said she wants to visit but only for 2 days, no longer. I'm not sure if he will want to pay for flight for 2 days...I haven't told him yet either. So even for those 2 days, IF she goes, I will be nuts!

 

[PatsGirl]

Marsha, that might be why he didn't respond, because he is confused. It's tough to hear that one of your parents is having another baby. I know my "ex-stepdaughters" had an awful time dealing with the fact that their father was going to be a Dad again (with DD) and they were 13 and 15. There were all kind of emotions from excitement, confusion, bitterness that it wasn't their Mom and Dad having the new baby.

In fact, they felt so much out of the loop that they stopped visiting their Dad. I admit that I was very busy with two kids and we were not married so I felt no real commitment to them but their father didn't include them nearly enough or make them feel part of things. Hopefully your ex will not do the same thing.

Anyway, if your son is already having issues with the expected visitations this could get him off the hook. I would definately advocate a relationship between your son, the gf and his new baby sibling though

 

[PatsGirl]

I know how you feel DD17 just left for the beach with her friend and I am going to worry the entire time.

So even for those 2 days, IF she goes, I will be nuts!

Does she know how to swim, are there lifeguards? As a teen, hanging at the beach with my friends (and boy-watching, lol) was a favorite pastime!

I would think at 17 years old she is quite capable of going away for a few days to visit her Dad, especially if you have had contact with him recently and have no reason to believe he would do her harm. In another year she'll be going away to college or starting her adult life in some other way, it's always better to have some practice under your belt.

 

[torinsmom]

We have already had this situation once. Dad was remarried for a year and DS has a step sister who is 19 months old. Dad will not sign a visitation agreement, so he has not seen that daughter in 2 months( he doesn't see her or call, even though his other ex just won't let him take her from the house).
With both our kids, he did not start paying child support, until the state made him, so good luck to this woman if things don't turn out like she hopes.

Ex would be upset if he knew I was in contact with his other ex, but I feel it is my responsibility to make sure DS stays close to his sister. I will do the same for this one, if need be. I have nothing against the women or the kids and I actually have nothing against my ex, as long as he is being respectful of me and DS.

Marsha

 

[torinsmom]

Sorry, double post

Marsha