Missing my Friend (Sharing poem too)

[2angelsinheaven]

I am so sad today, it's been 18 months since my best friend passed away from Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma yet I still think about him everyday. He was just one of those people, everyone loved. I met Jeff when I was 16, seven long years ago and quickly hit it off. Althought we lived 4 hours away from each other we talked everyday and saw each other every other week or so. He introduced me to my now Fiance and it was great that we both shared such a good friend. When I moved to Tampa Jeff would visit me often and I often rode with him to different events to keep each other company when he traveled. Jeff was the kind of guy who always kept your head up, no matter what he had faith in you and you knew it. He was so very mature and beyond his years, I don't think I've ever had such wonderful and meaningful conversations with anyone else. Sadly in 2000 he was dianosed with NHL but went into remission shortly after, it returned though and went down hill from there. I pushed him away, sometimes ignoring calls because I was so very scared. Of course now I wish I could take that all back and spend a day with him again. Seeing him in the hospital bald and pale had to have been the worst, I hated it, I couldn't comprehend how someone only 20 years old could be so sick. He had such a bright future and I think I miss him more and more each day. He was supposed to be our best man at our wedding. I guess the thing that really pains me is that we were supposed to visit each other the week of Thanksgiving 2002, somehow I got caught up in life and got busy and was unable to get over to the hospital in Tampa, Jeff died the next day and I will never forgive myself for that. I wrote this poem right after his death one night, I wanted to share it... nothing spectacular but wanted to... sorry for such a long post, but I needed to "talk" to someone right about now...

Here it is:

To my Friend

Your Gone,
You'll never come back,
I know someday I'll see you again,
But someday seems so far away.
There is so much left unsaid,
the pain,
the tears,
They'll never end.
Silly Me,
I thought if I pushed you away
maybe it wouldn't hurt so much,
I was wrong.
Now I'm left to scream it to the heavens.
When you were sick
you never let me worry
why didn't you let me worry
I feel no closure
no end.
To the pain
each night I cry
but I know you
you'd comfort me
When I was the one who should have comforted you.
Pushed you away
When I should have held you closer
You were so beautiful
You touched me, friend.
Always looking out for me
my heart wants nothing more
Than to have you hold me again.
Sometime when I am looking at the stars
and one if brighter than the others
I believe it's you letting me know you hurt no one.
I feel so selfish
for wanting you here
but I miss you
I care for and love you still,
Can you hear me late at night when I talk to you?
Wait for me,
I'll be there one day Jeff,
We can sit, talk and comfort each other.
Until then you'll be in my memory and in my heart.
Love Always.

If your interested here is a link to an article ABC wrote about Jeff
Jeff Peterson

 

[flaps]

I read the link as well. It sounds like your friend was a special young man.

 

[jacksonsmom]

SOunds like a very speical person to have known.
I am sorry for your lost.

 

[zen1]

I am so sorry for your loss. And I think your poem is beautiful.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

 

[2angelsinheaven]

Thanks for all the hugs everyone, I think a little smile may be breaking through.

 

[Patio]

I am so sorry for your loss. Jeff sounded like a wonderful person and I'm sure your friendship brought him much joy. Your poem is a beautiful tribute to Jeff. I will pray for you, Jeff's parents and family. Hugs to you....

 

[Dan Murphy]

Very nice, kind, loving words, Darlene. Jeff was, is special. 's

 

[helenabear]