missing my dad...

[poohandwendy]

Many times I read threads on the CB that pertain to personal losses and grieving, sometimes I reply, sometimes I just say a prayer for the ones who are hurting and in pain. For the most part, they deal with recent loss and the shock and acceptance of dealing with losing a loved one. While my loss isn't recent, it has been on my mind lately,

It has been 14 years since my Dad suddenly passed away. For some reason, the past few days have been tough. For the most part, his being gone is normal for me...the years have a way of forcing you to adjust. But every now and again I notice things that he would marvel at...

* my new cell phone ...it takes pictures Dad!!! Actually, cellular phone popularity would just blow him away...he never had much use for talking on the phone, but he sure loved advances in technology.

* My children. He was very close to my eldest daughter, Jessica, but never met my younger 2 (I was 8 mos pregnant with Devan (2nd child) when he died). Jessica just celebrated her 17th birthday and I know he would be so proud of the young woman she has become. I wish she could have a moment of time with him as an older child. Devan (14), in particular, would be someone he would marvel at. He has my Dad's wierd giggle, strong sense of patience and yen for building things with 'McGyveresk' practicality....(strangely, my Dad was my 'step'dad, but I guess some 'steps' are built of strong materials, regardless of genetics!)

* The common use of the internet. This would absolutely blow him away...I think my mom would have had a real hard time prying the mouse out of his hands....

* All of the new car models...he loved cars, trucks...anything with wheels....I remember how mad my mother was when he bought a Mazda RX7 (when they were new)...She kept raving about a 2-seater sports car having no place in a family of 7...LOL...he loved that car...I am so glad he bought it...the huge on his face when he pulled it into the driveway is stamped my soul...

There are so many things I wish I could share with him, I usually reserve them for the 'talks' I have with him, when I am all alone...

Tonight, I guess I felt the need to share some of it here...

Thank you for reading this far...maybe some of you understand...probably many of you...

Thanks for listening...

 

[Chattyaholic]

My Dad is really showing his age the past year or so, and the dr. says his heart is getting weaker so I know I'm not going to have him with me very much longer and I dread the day he passes on. We're very close and I know it will be hard.

Cherish the memories...

 

[nealymouse]

My Dad died over 30 years agao. I was 10. My Mom died 3 years ago this coming June. There are days I feel so alone even with my house full of kids. I do miss my parents more then ever and some days are really harder then others.

 

[Linda Talbot]

I lost my Dad a little over 2 years ago and not a day goes by that I do not think of him and miss him. He was such a strong influence in my life. He loved his family more than anything else in the world. He always made fun of his "ugly mugg" and said that he was glad that none of his children looked that much like him. I would dearly love to see that "ugly mugg" again and tell him how much he is loved.
My Mom is still with us, physically, she has Alzheimers disease and there are days that she is so removed from reality that she is not even aware that she has children.
I tell myself that when we buried my Dad, my Mom went went him.
So, I feel your pain. Just know that there are others out there who are going thru the same thing that you are.
Just say a prayer that your loved one is in a better place and is looking over you and being your Guardian Angel. I think my Dad is just that for me.

 

[goofy4tink]

Having quite recently lost my mom, 3 months ago, after reading your post I don't feel badly at all when people ask how I'm doing and if it's getting better yet and I can't tell them I'm doing 'great'. It's pretty obvious that this kind of loss takes a long time to heal. My mil told me that she lost her mom at the same age as I am now and she still thinks of her mother every day and goes to call her to tell her something. I wish I had known how very much I was going to miss my mom when I was a teen-ager. I would never have believed it.

 

[IMGONNABE40!]

I can't believe my dad is gone over 20 years. I really wish we got a chance to know each other as adults. I was just coming out of the "terrible teens" when he died and I know I did not appreciate him near as much as he deserved back then.

 

[FloridaCat]

Thanks for sharing your memories.
PD & {{{{{HUGS}}}}} for everyone.

 

[Pop Daddy]

hey

 

[DisneyObsessed]

You brought a tear to my eye. I lost my father in June, and while some things seem to be getting easier, it's the little things that still stand out. He lived with us, so there are still alot of memories around. Like when I go in the cabinet to get something and see the fruit cocktail he had me buy that he never got a chance to eat. There are so many items like that. They're sitting in my cabinet, yet I'm not using them either. You're so right. Everyday there are things I want to tell him. I sometimes feel guilty that I don't necessarily feel this way about my mom though. I lost her 6 years ago next week. But she was so sick before she died, that it was almost as if I lost her before she passed. My memories of her are not the same as my dads. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It's nice to know that some of us have so much in common.
_______________
Dawn

 

[browneyes]

I lost my aunt 14 years ago. She was more like a sister to me than an aunt. I think of all the things she's missed out on in the last 14 years too.

, poohandwendy.

 

[Robinrs]

Yes, some days are better than others but the love we had for those who are no longer physically with us always leaves a hole in our hearts.

My Mom lost her Dad when she was 13, seventeen years before I was born. She spoke of him regularly and still cried when she thought of him. He was her life, her protection, and a warm and present joy in her eyes. I am so blessed she found a man just like him, my dear sweet Daddy, and for 59 years they shared a love that was just unbelievable.

But till the day she died, she missed her Daddy.

One of the blessings I had when I found out that my Mom had terminal cancer was the thrill I knew she'd have upon seeing her Dad again. AND that my Dad was still with me.

He died 6 months later, March 11, 2003, my birthday.

Even though I had him for 47 years it still wasn't long enough for me. I will ALWAYS miss my Daddy, just like my Mom missed hers.

Never wonder why we do, the love and the effect they had on our lives is testimony to why we still want and need them here.

When I found my car, I knew my Dad found it for me. It was everything he liked in a car and it was WAY underpriced! I looked up, said "thank you Daddy" and knew that he was smiling.

Your Dad is aware of all you know, I know mine is. Never fear that he misses anything because good parents are always wtih us.

God bless,

Robinrs

 

[Serena]

It'll be 11 years since my mom passed away. I still miss her and sometimes I hear her. After she died I think my dad had a midlife crisis at 65. I am not sure I know him anymore. I feel like I lost both parents.

 

[Lanshark]

Thank you for reading this far...maybe some of you understand...probably many of you...

I definitely do.

 

[crz4mm2]

...maybe some of you understand...probably many of you...

Yep, sure do.
It has been only 9 years for me but still hard some days.
I find myself doing the same as you. I think "Dad would like this" . I still miss him tons. Like you, my Dad was my step dad, but we never felt that way. A better Dad you could not have had. My DS (23) and he were very close. I think he would like to see him now.
Sigh
Cathy

 

[vald1977]

I'll be thinking of you.

 

[Kitty 34]

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

 

[4nana]

Thanks so much for sharing, I feel your pain and understand completely. I lost my dear Dad a year ago this week and my younger brother suddendly 3 yrs ago this month, so January is not particulary full of good memories for me.

Even at my age, it's quite an adjustment to be without one of my parents for the first time on my life. I miss my Dad dearly, but realize he had been ill for quite some time with cancer and it's a comfort to know he is in heaven with no pain or suffering and with his son.

My Mom and Dad were marreid for 57 yrs. Now our top priority is doing whatever we can helping Mom make the adjustment to carry on. Her love, faith, wisdom, patience and always having a positve thought are a true example for our family.

No doubt, there will be good days and bad for us all, but we will always have their memories to fill our hearts with joy and their spirit to guide us daily.

God Bless all ^i^
~ Sandie

 

[Melora]

You are blessed indeed to have such wonderful memories.

I feel like I have none. My adopted dad and I were only close when I was very little. As I grew I am not sure what happened... He was mad at me a lot, probably because he and my mom did not get along and he always blamed me for making her angry and hard to live with.

He died 13 years ago when I was in my 20's.

There are times I wish he were here so I could get to know him now that I am grown up and doing well.

He was a funny man who loved my oldest so much. (Chris was 5 when my dad died). He would love my kids and he missed them growing up.

Cherish your memories. They are priceless.