Minor Vent-Narrowminded People

[honeywolf7]

Roger picked me up from work so we could go to lunch together today (we do this as many days as we can and then he takes me home and goes back to the barber shop.) We went to a place that served ribs, barbecue, etc. While we were sitting at the counter, I had this feeling that this was the kind of place where back before the Civil Rights Movement, Roger would not have been able to be served. Then halfway through our wait for our ribs, Roger turned to me and said "You see the looks I'm getting, don't you?" I hadn't seen them, but then I started noticing them and I got mad. I don't see why people have to be so narrow-minded. I love him and whoever doesn't like it can just deal with it as far as I'm concerned. To be honest, I felt like giving him a kiss right there just to tick them off a little more (rather than feeling intimidated which I'm sure is what they wish I would have felt.) It's not the first time we've gotten looks when we went out together (and at first the looks did intimidate me), but every time it happens, it makes me SO angry.

 

[JoeThaNo1Stunna]

Just curious as to which restaurant it was.

 

[CathyCanada]

Racism makes my blood boil. Why can't people look past the colour of one's skin before passing judgement?
CC

 

[honeywolf7]

Joe, it's called Hank's Barbecue and it's on Jefferson Davis.

 

[CEDmom]

It's amazing in this day and age and with the diversity of people living in this country that these things still happen. Don't let them bother you instead feel sorry for them. It must be hard going through life being so ignorant.

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

Is it possible that you were seeing things that weren't there? Richmond is ethnically diverse. Interracial couples are not uncommon there at all.

I'm not saying that it wasn't racism, but I am saying that the possibility exists that it wasn't.

 

[honeywolf7]

Addicted, I would question that if I were the one who saw it first (but I tend to be more sensitive than Roger is and he was the one who saw it.) I think it had to do with the area of town/the age of the clientele.

 

[Kirby]

I remember playing with children as a child and not even thinking twice that their skin was a different color than mine. Wouldn't it be nice if adults were that way too.

 

[Mish19]

I had wonderful neighbors (the good neighbors always seem to move away), they were/are a wonderful married couple both in the medical field and as sweet as can be. I was in the elevator pretty late at night and I happened to be with him. This guy was a tall well built black man and when another stupid neighbor opened the elevator door on another floor to get in she gasped and quickly closed the door . My neighbor and I just look at eachother and shared our disgust of that woman's narrow mindedness. I got out on my floor before he did and he was so caring, he wanted me to let him know when I got in my apartment before he would go on his way to his apartment!
I sure do wish they still lived here and not the other neighbor!!
It's sad that narrow mindedness is still so obvious with some people.

 

[Kallison]

You reminded me of a funny story -- My Mil used to tell me how racist her parents were and quite frankly my IL's were pretty racist also. I mean their kids would never be allowed to date out of their race when they were growing up. My parents had good friends that were German and Indian. The Indian man was very dark, he looked African American and the German woman was about as pale as you can get without being transparent. At our wedding my parents put them at the family table. Some of MIL's friends asked me who they were, I knew why there were asking specifically about a mixed race elderly couple at the family table. So I told them they were my grandparents. I told MIL a few years later. She was not amused .

 

[honeywolf7]

Kallison, I love that story.

 

[CEDmom]

I'll share a story with you. DH and I adopted our beautiful daughter from China in June 2000. She was 9 months old. A few weeks after we got home I was in the grocery store with her and I could see this older woman looking at us. I assumed she kept looking because DD was/is so cute. After about 5 minutes she came over and asked if DD was adopted. I said yes but my radar went up immediately just by the way she asked. Anyway, she proceeded to go on and on and finally ended by saying "don't worry dear, God will bless you with your own one day".
Well, I'm not usually quick witted but I immediately turned to her and said "that's not necessary, he already did".

 

[Jeff in BigD]

Kallison, that story reminds me of one my folks told me.

They were newly married & went to a family reunion (on my dad's side) & everyone kept telling them how much they look alike & kept asking my mom if she was sure they weren't related. My mom had gotten fed up so she said something that shut them up:
"Well Don's father was our milkman, so who knows?"

 

[mamajoan]

Having been thru this situation when living in the
Midwest, Hawaii and occaisionally here in Ca.... after 20 plus years of committment... ........ I can only say......

People are a curious bunch.. think about it when you see something out of the "norm" maybe you tend to take a second look...

Solution to people rudely commenting or staring:

Just smile and wave! Kiss your SO and continue with your business..... Kill them with kindness!


"What the world needs now, is love sweet love, no not just for some but for everyone"

 

[CathyCanada]

BRAVO CEDmom!!!! Well done!
CC

 

[FOV]

Originally posted by CEDmom
Don't let them bother you instead feel sorry for them. It must be hard going through life being so ignorant.

Exactly CEDmom!!! Some people will find anything to be prejudice about - education, wealth, race, religion..... It really must be very hard going through life that way! They may cause pain to others but they live with their own pain everyday.

 

[honeywolf7]

Thanks everybody.....I knew you all would calm me down

 

[Sal]

Becki,

I was in a situation that almost put me in the exact opposite position as you were. I was in the group of people that a couple (black man, white woman) thought was making comments about their being together!!!!

AT the time, the city we were in was having a lot of racial problems, crossburnings and worse. We had a family reunion and some of us stopped at a fast food place to eat. The discussion turned to Disney movies! Many of my cousins work in theatre. Someone mentioned that The Lion King had been called racist due to the bad lion being darker and nasty characters were voiced by minorities. This started a deep conversation about the literary symbolism of dark relating to evil and white to goodness and purity. My brother has a DEEP voice that carries for miles.

We were all mortified to find that this couple thought we were directing our comments towards them! He came over and said, "Was that directed at me?" We would have liked to have died and would RATHER have died than insult this very nice couple. As soon as he saw our faces, he realized that we had no such intentions. One cousin said, "We were just talking about Disney!" Who knew Disney could get us in so much trouble.

The man was very gracious and when we got up to leave, he told us all to have a great evening. It made me sad to realize that they had obviously been subjected to some unkind comments in the past.

I hope that the people you saw were just looking your way because you make such a stunning couple!

 

[laceemouse]

It's sad but true, prejudice is still alive and well EVERYWHERE, and I have lived in lots of places!! Don't let it bug you, life is just too short. I agree, it seems to be worse in some areas and with some age groups, but I still hold out hope that it will change with time!

 

[RUDisney]

We are friends with a bunch of interracial couples. If you were eating in a rib joint that was prejudiced, as Bill would put it, "it couldn't be good. Only black people know the secret to making ribs." He claims that was the final thing that sealed the deal on his intent to marry his wife... when he tasted her pork ribs.

Bill is a riot. He also says that he's been married to Shirley for 25 years but has been making love to her for 30. They are both about 70 and he likes to shock other senior citizens with his comments.

So, the moral of my story is that next time you want good BBQ, don't go to that restaurant. Maybe you'll start a trend and they can go out of business out of intolerance.

CEDmom said it best. It's sad that they have to go through life in their ignorance.