Minnesota!
Shoeless in Minnesota
- Joined
- Sep 15, 1999
- Messages
- 14,313
Application for MINNESOTAZENSHIP
Personal Information:
Name ___________________-son
Sex: ___ Ole ___ Lena
Home Address ________________
Cabin Address ________________
Religion: _____ Lutheran ______ Catholic
Income:
____We do OK
____We're Blessed
____ None of your beeswax
Qualifications: (check all that apply)
___ I own a gas powered ice auger.
___ I've been trick or treating in two feet of snow.
___ My grandmother made me eat lutefisk.
___ I liked it!
___ I've been to a block party.
___ My first beer was an Old Milwaukee.
___ My snowmobile has more miles on it than my car.
___ I have a back up set of jumper cables in my trunk.
___ Despite what others say I DON'T HAVE AN ACCENT!
(For sure, ya betcha, I don't.)
True/ False:
___ I actually listen to telemarketers.
___ "Have a Nice Day" is an ORDER!
___ TV news anchors are celebrities.
___ Part of my tongue is on a flagpole somewhere.
___ It's not a rubber binder! It's a rubber band.
___ They mistake pop for "soda" or "coke" in
most other states.
___ Hot Dish is neither a beautiful woman nor
an overheated plate.
Multiple Choice:
It's time to wear a hat when:
A) The temperature is below 10 degrees.
B) Your mother tells you to!
C) The temperature is -10 and the wind chill
is in double digits.
Essay Questions:
What "uff-da" means to me_________________________________
What "oopsy daisy" means to me___________________________
You know you're from Minnesota when...
1. Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars
waiting to pass a tractor.
2. "Vacation" means going to up north for
the weekend.
3. You measure distance in hours.
4. You know several people who have hit deer
more than once.
5. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in
the same day.
6. You use a down comforter in the summer.
7. Your grandparents drive 65 mph through 13
feet of snow during a blizzard, without flinching.
8. You see people wearing hunting clothes
to social events.
9. You install security lights on your
house and garage and leave both doors unlocked.
10. You think of the major food groups as venison, walleye,
and
Leinenkugels.
11. You carry jumper cables in your car and
your girlfriend knows how to use them.
12. There are 7 empty cars running in the
parking lot at the grocery store at any given time.
13. You design your kids Halloween costume
to fit over a snow suit.
14. Driving is better in the winter because
the potholes are filled with snow.
15. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks
and flannel p.j.'s.
16. You know all four seasons; almost winter,
winter, still winter, and road construction.
17. It takes you 3 hours to go to the store
for one item even when you're in a rush because you
have to stop to talk to everyone in town.
18. You actually understand these jokes
and forward them to all your friends from Minnesota.
Personal Information:
Name ___________________-son
Sex: ___ Ole ___ Lena
Home Address ________________
Cabin Address ________________
Religion: _____ Lutheran ______ Catholic
Income:
____We do OK
____We're Blessed
____ None of your beeswax
Qualifications: (check all that apply)
___ I own a gas powered ice auger.
___ I've been trick or treating in two feet of snow.
___ My grandmother made me eat lutefisk.
___ I liked it!
___ I've been to a block party.
___ My first beer was an Old Milwaukee.
___ My snowmobile has more miles on it than my car.
___ I have a back up set of jumper cables in my trunk.
___ Despite what others say I DON'T HAVE AN ACCENT!
(For sure, ya betcha, I don't.)
True/ False:
___ I actually listen to telemarketers.
___ "Have a Nice Day" is an ORDER!
___ TV news anchors are celebrities.
___ Part of my tongue is on a flagpole somewhere.
___ It's not a rubber binder! It's a rubber band.
___ They mistake pop for "soda" or "coke" in
most other states.
___ Hot Dish is neither a beautiful woman nor
an overheated plate.
Multiple Choice:
It's time to wear a hat when:
A) The temperature is below 10 degrees.
B) Your mother tells you to!
C) The temperature is -10 and the wind chill
is in double digits.
Essay Questions:
What "uff-da" means to me_________________________________
What "oopsy daisy" means to me___________________________
You know you're from Minnesota when...
1. Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars
waiting to pass a tractor.
2. "Vacation" means going to up north for
the weekend.
3. You measure distance in hours.
4. You know several people who have hit deer
more than once.
5. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in
the same day.
6. You use a down comforter in the summer.
7. Your grandparents drive 65 mph through 13
feet of snow during a blizzard, without flinching.
8. You see people wearing hunting clothes
to social events.
9. You install security lights on your
house and garage and leave both doors unlocked.
10. You think of the major food groups as venison, walleye,
and
Leinenkugels.
11. You carry jumper cables in your car and
your girlfriend knows how to use them.
12. There are 7 empty cars running in the
parking lot at the grocery store at any given time.
13. You design your kids Halloween costume
to fit over a snow suit.
14. Driving is better in the winter because
the potholes are filled with snow.
15. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks
and flannel p.j.'s.
16. You know all four seasons; almost winter,
winter, still winter, and road construction.
17. It takes you 3 hours to go to the store
for one item even when you're in a rush because you
have to stop to talk to everyone in town.
18. You actually understand these jokes
and forward them to all your friends from Minnesota.
