MIL's mom passed away....have a ?

[Leader of the Club]

So, my MIL's mom passed away at age 93. We are going to the services tomorrow.

My question is: Should I sent my MIL a gift/flowers or something?

We all live in different corners of the same city, but didn't see Grandma often. My hubby was never that close to her...she wasn't the kind of person that invited closeness, ya know. But, its still my MIL's mum, and I want to acknowledge her loss.

 

[powellrj]

I wouldn't send anything, but I would offer help if needed. When someone dies there are so many things that need taken care of. Maybe you could offer to write thank-yous or something like that instead of flowers.

 

[laurafergie]

So sorry for the difficult time for your family.

Flowers are always appropriate. Send them to the funeral home with condolences from your family. Or you may call and find out if there is a charity to donate to instead of flowers. I'm seeing that more and more lately. Make sure acknowledge your MIL's loss directly to her also.

 

[Bren's Mom]

A card specifically for your MIL would be very nice.

And if you can afford it, have flowers or a plant sent to the funeral home...unless they asked for donations in grandma's name and then do that. (It's ok to pool resources too, with siblings or cousins if necessary.)

If MIL is grieving, it would be very kind to do something extra nice for her in the coming weeks. Sunday will surely be hard on her, with it being Mother's Day and all...so if you can do something special with her if she's up to it that would be good. Or even just go spend time with her, maybe plant flowers in her yard, or something else that let's her know you're thinking about her.

So sorry for your family's loss.

 

[Hoodie]

While you may not have been close to Grandma, your MIL probably was. Condolences, rememberences, memorials, etc. are for the living, not the dead.

Cards, flowers, and general support would certainly be welcome.

 

[YCNUT]

I would send flowers to funeral home and maybe take a dish or dinner to her one night.

 

[Mom2Ben02]

What about offering to take care of the food for the wake? (Does everyone do this? I am Italian, so food goes along with any and all events.) Let her know it's for her, so she can relax a little bit.

 

[kimkoz]

I personally do not care for flowers. I'd much rather recieve assistance.

I'm sure MIL has alot on her plate right now, be there for her. Maybe a meal or help with the after services. Our family has a mini party after services, maybe you could assist with that.

 

[Leader of the Club]

Thanks for the suggestions.

The church is doing the after-services-meal. So that is covered.

Grandma had a charity that she wanted donations to go to, so we are doing that. I'll give MIL a nice card. She would not accept assistance if she had two broken legs, so we'll go over with her favorite red and white impatiens and plant them in the yard on Sunday.

Thanks again. I know ya'll would know what to do.

 

[honeydiane1953]

Sending a sympathy card and being there will be perfectly fine. If u cannot attend the funeral I would send flowers in an arrangement to your MIL's home.

 

[disneymarie]

So, my MIL's mom passed away at age 93. We are going to the services tomorrow.

My question is: Should I sent my MIL a gift/flowers or something?

We all live in different corners of the same city, but didn't see Grandma often. My hubby was never that close to her...she wasn't the kind of person that invited closeness, ya know. But, its still my MIL's mum, and I want to acknowledge her loss.

When I lost my dd, many people that were friends, acquaintances sent wonderful, flowers, gifts, donations.

My favorite were at home planter, the dozen roses, Angel gifts, one was seashell angel handmade by a friend in CA near DL.

It was that so many cared about my loss, not how close they were to me. Her own sperm donor and and half siblings did not care to personalize anything. I thought that was retaliation at me for being the first wife. THe kids really did not know each other, their loss.

But, did not even come over to me to express our loss. BUT the people not blood close, or casual, even coworkers went out of their way to help me through the day......
That is what counts, not how close, but doing something to help the heart ache.

 

[sissy_ib]

Thanks for the suggestions.

The church is doing the after-services-meal. So that is covered.

Grandma had a charity that she wanted donations to go to, so we are doing that. I'll give MIL a nice card. She would not accept assistance if she had two broken legs, so we'll go over with her favorite red and white impatiens and plant them in the yard on Sunday.

Thanks again. I know ya'll would know what to do.

Is anything going to be held at your MILs home? If so maybe you can help in stealth mode? Go around picking up and washing dishes during the event so there is less for your MIL to do later. This way you are helping her out and she wont really have the opportunity to say no.