MIL wants to wear black to my wedding

[princessblueeyzes]

Hi guys my MIL just informed me that she wants to wear black to my wedding. Do you think it is ok for her to wear black? I am having my FG and my BM and MOH and prettymuch all the girls wear the apple color from Davids Bridal. I know the guys will be in black tuxes with ivory shirts and the apple color butioneer for their attire. What would you do? Is it ok or should I tell her no?

 

[hfehr1s]

Well my Bm's are wearing black so I may be a little biased, but I think it would be fine! My mother will also be wearing black at the wedding. However, I think it should really be your decision whether you will like how it will look in all your pics etc. Personally I think it will look fine!! HTH

 

[cjb71870]

Black is alot more excepted these days for weddings compared to years back. It's actually very stylish and hip these days. My Sister-in-laws sister recently married in downtown Washington D.C. at the National Museum of Womens Art. It was a very formal affair. Black tie. My sis-in-law, who was the MoH, and the rest of the bridesmaids in the bridal party actually wore black dresses. Beautiful black dresses, they looked awesome. I think it would be fine as long as what she chose looks nice in black. And remember, all eyes will be on you that day.

 

[Sleeping~Beauty]

I'm in my brother's wedding in two weeks, and we are wearing black bridesmaid dresses. And my mom is wearing black.

Black is very acceptable at weddings these days.

I don't see why there would be a problem with MIL wearing black.

 

[allisonswonderland]

I think black is accepted at weddings now I wore a black dress twice as I registered guests at different weddings and that was what they asked me to wear! But for mine, I really encouraged everyone to wear pastel colors in the wedding- my mom is deep pink (rose), his mom powder blue and my maids in pink.

 

[hmgolden]

I think it would depend on what time of day your wedding is. If you are having a late afternoon/evening wedding, I think your MIL will look very stylish and sophisticated in black. If you are getting married at 11:00 AM at Sunset Point, I think she might look a little funny.

 

[JJClemson]

I think this should be completely your decision. I think w/ your wedding color scheme, especially w/ the men it tuxes, it would look nice. However, if my MOH asked to wear black to my wedding, I would say no, but that's just my opinion. As hmgolden said, I think you have to consider the time and location of your ceremony. Good luck!

 

[popeyeohoh]

Maybe she is selfconcious about her weight and black is slimming. Are you thinking she is wearing black because she thinks it is the death of her son? I know a few mil's that would do that. I have been to a few weddings that the bridesmaids wore black. If you have a strong opinion about it you should talk to your fiance and see if he thinks it is a problem. I don' t think I would discuss it with future mil. Good Luck! Remember it is your day and don't let small things get you down. You are the focus and all the guest will be enjoying this day with you and your husband. No one really cares what the mother's wear.

 

[Figment's friends]

Maybe she would wear some Apple green accents? ( actually dis green I'm sure!)

 

[princessblueeyzes]

Thanks girls. Black it is then. We are having a 4 pm wedding

 

[Codie]

My mom wore black too. She felt more odd about it than I did...I thought she looked stunning!

 

[dee slack]

I think as long as the style is right for a wedding then it shouldn't be a problem in this day.
I had a slightly different case with my MIL when we married - she had a cream lacy dress that was beautiful, but personally I think would have been more suited if she were the bride at an informal wedding, but as I was wearing ivory it was a little too close to me. However, I must admit that as the day was so busy, I didn't really think about it until I saw the photo's then I was a little upset. Don't think she deliberately tried to upstage me, but then again.....!

 

[ead79]

It's funny you should mention this. My MIL made a big deal about how she "wasn't allowed" to wear black to my wedding. I had never said a word about it, but she apparently had read somewhere that it was against the "rules." So what did she choose to wear instead? A BRIGHT red dress that looked more like a prom dress than something for an adult woman. It clashed terribly with the deep red of the bridesmaids dresses. Apparently she had failed to read the "rule" about not trying to coordinate with the bridesmaids because the colors won't match. What I wouldn't have given for her to wear black!

Seriously though, I think it's fine as long as it's not a super casual wedding. That's a rule that's pretty much overlooked these days.

 

[Sandy V.]

I would be more interested in WHY she wanted to wear black. As others have said, if it's because she's self-conscious and feels that black would be slimming on her/flattering to her coloring, that's one acceptable reason, and I probably wouldn't have an issue with it.

If, however, if she wants to wear black to make some sort of visual statement at the wedding as to her feelings regarding the marriage or some sort of state of mourning for the "loss" of her son, then that's quite another thing.

Can you point-blank ask her, or have your future husband do so?

 

[Marty Moose]

I see you've already decided and I think it's definitely the right choice!

It would be one thing if your wedding had a pastel theme and she showed up all in black (with or without the black veil & rosary! ) But it sounds like she is just trying to fit in with the color scheme and rather than wear red (and risk looking like an older, out of place bridesmaid) she thinks black would be the natural choice...

It sounds like your question was more about wedding etiquette...and not that you personally have a problem with it? In that case, I just want agree with the other posts that it is perfectly acceptable for her to wear black and I think it will look wonderful in with your color scheme!

Best wishes!

 

[princessblueeyzes]

I see you've already decided and I think it's definitely the right choice!

It would be one thing if your wedding had a pastel theme and she showed up all in black (with or without the black veil & rosary! ) But it sounds like she is just trying to fit in with the color scheme and rather than wear red (and risk looking like an older, out of place bridesmaid) she thinks black would be the natural choice...

It sounds like your question was more about wedding etiquette...and not that you personally have a problem with it? In that case, I just want agree with the other posts that it is perfectly acceptable for her to wear black and I think it will look wonderful in with your color scheme!

Best wishes!

Yeah I made the choice to let her wear black. I am not even going to ask her why she wanted to because I would much rather have the pictures turn out nice then having her try and wear a red matching the bridesmaids or a white dress-(which she has been known to do to my DF's neice during her First Holy Communion). I also thought about it for a while and figure that if I get all the mom's- DF's mom, step-mom and my mom to all wear black then I am set for NICE pictures instead of me being upset that the colors don't look good together. I am going to let my grandma wear the same color of red as the bridesmaids just because she is my grandma and loves red- it was also her color scheme for her wedding and 50th anniversary!

Thanks guys for all your help and input.

 

[FlyingBelle]

I was married in October with a fall-themed wedding, outdoors on a Sunday at 11:30 am.

My MIL wore black and she looked STUNNING! I didn't care what she wore, or anyone else except the bridal party for that matter. Even then, I had the bm's pick out any style dress from David's - all the same color, and the gm's wore different tuxes - all black. I didn't want a matchy-matchy wedding.

All I cared about was that everyone came and enjoyed themselves. It's so hard to find something you like that fits you well and is in your price range. I didn't want to put any additional burdens on anyone by limiting their clothing choices to color.

Hope you enjoy your big day!

 

[disgirl88]

Yeah, at my brothers wedding-- the colors were black and red. The bridesmaids wore black and so did the mothers. It looked nice!!

 

[princessblueeyzes]

Thanks for the reassurance. I just want the pictures to look nice and I want to make sure that she doesn't show up in white or ivory so I told her black is fine. Hopefully the plan will work out.

 

[ceiligh1]

I would encorage the black. My MIL actually wore her white lace wedding dress to our wedding. I didnt notice on the day but looking back at the photos makes me smile a little. My other MIL wore a black dress with silver lace over the top and my mother wore green. I think they all looked wonderful but there was no theme among them as in all black. THe photos would have been wonderful if they were all in black.