MIL....Vent

[ntburns22]

Ok I will start of by saying that my MIL and her DH and mom have been alone the past 4 years for CHristmas. We celebrate with them on the 26th along with the rest of DH's brothers and their families. Every year she will make a comment that it was so boring being alone. I told my parents this year that I will be making Christmas dinner instead of going to their house so MIL has somewhere to go. My DH called his mom and said we will see you Sunday right? And she responded she didn't know what she was doing yet. UGH! I changed my family plans because I felt bad for them. I was doing this for them. I even told her over a month ago that we were going to have Christmas so they had a place to go. I gave up my last Christmas in my childhood home now for most likely nothing. On a side note, my parents are building a new home in the spring. Sorry vent over.

 

[diznygirl]

So, change your plans back and go to your parents house. If your MIL can't commit, then you are free to change your plans.

Merry Christmas!

 

[OceanAnnie]

So, change your plans back and go to your parents house. If your MIL can't commit, then you are free to change your plans.

Merry Christmas!

Yeah. Sounds good.

 

[Dznypal]

I had almost the same problem with my inlaws only it was last year for Thansksgiving..


Since I work in a hospital I have to work every other holiday so we had things planned that my mom was having a brunch--( I have 2 brothers and one sister all of us have kids so its always fun when we all get together)

since my brothers MIL lets my mom pick first to either do brunch or dinner since there are 4 of us and brothers MIL has only 2 "kids" to plan around--

ok everything is set brunch at my parents and dinner by our house--nothing fancy but a good dinner and a chance to get together with everyone with no hurt feelings--

great-- 4 days before Tksgvng MIL says shes just going to make a chicken for her and FIL!!!!!

DH said we have everything all set--she said my mom could just have things later then!!!

I said theres 20 of us she cant call everyone now and tell them to come later!!! and my brother's going to his inlaws for dinner so it doenst just effect us it effects alot of us!!!

and actually dinner would have worked better for my mom since she works yet parttime but neverthe less she still works!!

my inlaws just dont understand--they are so hard to work around!!
Christmas should be a real blast!!! at least the "kids" they're 24 and 21 so that at least be fun


vent over

everyone have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

 

[LoveWDW]

I agree. Call her and ask for a firm committment. Then you can change back.

 

[ntburns22]

I don't know if I have the guts to do it. I may have DH call. My kids were excited to have both grandparents over to show them what Santa brought.

 

[OhMari]

Your not going to win. If you go back to your parents house, then your MIL will probably come at the last minute and find out you changed your plans and then you will be in the dog house with her. Holidays are so hard-every one has different expectations.

 

[kristen821]

So, change your plans back and go to your parents house. If your MIL can't commit, then you are free to change your plans.

Merry Christmas!

I agree with this 100%, but you need to have dh call her and tell her if she can't make a commitment then that is what you are going to do. Make sure dh is the one to call otherwise, you will be the bad guy when you were trying to do a really nice thing for her.

 

[Disney Cakers]

My DH family is currently on the rampage. Last year, we got the "run around" about Christmas plans with the "I don't know" and then my MIL sent her DH to drop off gifts at our house! We didn't see them last year. Then, every Thanksgiving we have a combo celebration (for FIL birthday) and its been that way for the past 5 years. It is basically the ONLY holiday we are guranteed with them. This year, they blew us off, and made plans without even telling us! I found out accidently after the fact.

How I found out, was that my younger SIL was in my kitchen while FIL was stashing a ping pong table in our garage - a surprise Christmas gift for my MIL. Later, when no one bothered to call and arrange a good time to come get it - my DH called and told his dad our schedule. He works retail right now, and we can't wait to the last min. to make plans. Since no one on his side of the family invited us - we accepted other offers (given the usual outcome). Then FIL calls back with a "hope your not blowing us off" and my DH asks, well when would you like to do something for Christmas? (we don't know was the answer) Then 30 min. later my FIL calls again "your mom is upset can I come get you so you can talk to her?"

LONG STORY SHORT
my husband was subjected to a family "gang up" pow-wow that ended up being all the reasons they don't like me! They said the most untrue things - and DH stuck up for me and got mad. I even told them myself, how I didn't appreciate the things they said about me. No one, of course apologized. Now my SILs have sent e-mails and they try to call. I answered one, very short and to the point. Then my FIL called last night to tell my DH "did you know she sent us an e-mail?" DH did. and he said "I don't care!" Now they are still staying that I keep him from them! Please, oh and I also manipulate my parents into buying us stuff. The list goes on and on.


I wish they would just leave us alone. They caused enough pain already! You'd think they would be embarassed - but they obviously think that they didn't do anything wrong. Sorry so long, but I completly understood about your MIL's reaction. My whole in-laws like to play the "victim card" and now my DH is wise to this. Well, hope this makes you feel a little better. As your MIL hopefuly is better than my in laws.

 

[LaLa]

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

Gotta just love those inlaws, right?

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

I feel your pain--we still don't know what time MIL is showing up here on Christmas Day (or the day after, or not at all...). The sort of good news is, after the absolutely miserable Thanksgiving we had at her house, my DH finally (FINALLY!!!) said we're not going back next year, no way. Among other things she did was tell me Thanksgiving dinner was at three. No problem, I went to take a nap (I'm pregnant). I wake up, come down at three--only to find that everyone ate without me (I was only upstairs, you dolts!). So, I feel perfectly justified in serving Christmas dinner at a time that's convenient for my family, and MIL can have leftovers if and when she decides to show up.

I agree with having your DH make the call. I'm sur emy MIL is telling all her friends about how her witchy DIL stormed out of her house at Thanksgiving, when in fact it was her SON who said, "Wake up the toddler--we're leaving right now!" (and no, it wasn't just the "let's celebrate Thanksgiving while your wife sleeps" incident that set him off, either!)

 

[Disney Cakers]

Oh my gosh! I would have hit the roof if my inlaws were in the same house and ate without me! Yea it doesn't matter what any of us girls do. Or MIL and whoever will just talk and spin something out of nothing or coat it with sugar. So I agree OP should let DH do the call. That way that can't do that old "did you know what your wife did" bit.