MIL vent

[karebear1]

I'm sure she could have given him $5.00-$10.00 and explained to him that she didn't know what to get him but to put the money towards something he wants.

OR she could take him on a little shopping spree to pick out waht he wants... just him and Grandma! Maybe you could suggest this to her?

 

[miss missy]

I would be mad as heck. Don't treat kids differently! Thats soo not cool! I bet he would of loves a $10 spot or something, how freaking hard it that? argg!

 

[Freyja]

He really doesn´t seem that bothered. Granted, he´s busy with his friend whom he hasn´t seen for months and I´m worried he´ll realise later and think about it without saying anything. It´s not so much about the gift but about the fact that she thought this was an o.k thing to do. It is just soooooo thoughtless and inconsiderate in my opnion. It says so much about her since this isn´t the first thing something like this happends (although it´s never been the exact same scenario).

 

[DawnCt1]

My MIL has done that all of our married life. Usually it takes the form of giving gifts to a cousin in FRONT of our children. One year she found a close out sale at JC Penney's on PEE WEE HERMAN clothes. Penney's was anxious to dump them after the "arrest". They were hideous but her and her sister managed to find them. After they left DSs asked if they "had to wear them". I took them all back to Penneys, the equivilant of 4 complete outfits or more and I ended up with enough $$$ to buy one pair of OshKosh baby overalls. The next day she called and said she "made a mistake". That half of the items in the bag belonged to her sister!! I told them that I returned them all and bought DS#4 a pair of overalls. She was shocked and said, "What Am I going to do??!!" I just said, "gee, I have no idea".

 

[SleepyMom]

I am so sorry for your DS, what a thoughtless thing for her to do.

My own mother is famous for this, only my kids are the ones to receive and my niece and nephews are the ones left out. I have talked to her and brought it up so many times, but it never seems to sink in.

Just this week my DD21 called (she goes to college in the town where my Mom lives) and told me she knew what we were getting for Valentine's Day from Grandma. We are going there next week to visit and she plans to give it to us then. DD told me Grandma showed her the items and then told her how she found them and they were so cute that she got 4, one for each of my DD's one for me and one for a co-worker. Then she said Grandma mentioned they were such a great thing that she might go back and get more, for another friend and her DD

I shouldn't have been, but I was shocked once again by this. When we go to town next week, we will also be seeing my niece who is the exact same age as my younger DD. But "Grandma" never thought to get her one! She can buy for 2 grandaughters, me, a co-worker, a friend and her DD, but not the her other granddaughter living in same town as her. Amazing! I have no idea what the item is, but I will tell my Mom to give it to my niece instead, or I will. And even that won't shame her enough to remember her other grandchildren the next time, because I have done it before.

 

[miss missy]

He really doesn´t seem that bothered. Granted, he´s busy with his friend whom he hasn´t seen for months and I´m worried he´ll realise later and think about it without saying anything. It´s not so much about the gift but about the fact that she thought this was an o.k thing to do. It is just soooooo thoughtless and inconsiderate in my opnion. It says so much about her since this isn´t the first thing something like this happends (although it´s never been the exact same scenario).

and I would want to give him a ten and say "Grandma didn't want to the other kids to know you were getting cash,so she gave ot to me to give to you now" but then he would say thanks and she would be like

 

[miss missy]

double post

 

[LBelle]

This happened once with my MIL.

ALL gifts were promptly returned to her!!!! The other kids had no problem not accepting their gifts.....everybody KNEW she was sooooo wrong.

It never happened again!!!!

 

[Freyja]

Part of the "problem" is that we didn´t even realize until this morning that she didn´t bring him anything. The girls were all in the living room with us when they got their gift bags yesterday and he was in his room with his friend. We both (DH and I) just assumed she had gotten him something and had given it to him in his room. Although she had mentioned that she didn´t know what to get him, we really didn´t think much of it. We were sure she must have brought him SOMETHING.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

MIL was wrong - very, very wrong. Tell this to your DS. Buy him something special in place of nothing. Explain that you feel bummed about this, too. You will never change MIL, but you can tell DS that you're not happy with her gifting all but him. Imagine how he feels being the only one left out.

I agree 100%!!!!!!!
I guess this is one of those times when you are supposed to make the experience into a life lesson and explain you cannot change people & life isn't always fair. I would take him out this afternoon for his favorite CD or maybe an ice cream date with you alone where you can talk about it. I would also ask your other kids to tell him they recognize it wasn't a nice thing to do to him. Good Luck!

 

[dreamcometrue]

that is just awful I'd tell her, if you don't have something for ALL the kids, I would appreciate you not bringing gifts at ALL. Tell your DS how you thought it was wrong, and maybe go out and get him a little something or give him some cash (all kids like money!) and tell him you are proud for the way he handled it!

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

Oh, that is SO wrong! I don't blame you for being pissed off. I would be too!

 

["Got Disney"]

...........

Grandma...what about me...bad Grandma...Some people just don't get it!!! You need to talk to her and have her send him a card with $10.00 and an apoligy(sp)...because your son will remember that for the rest of his life...even if he tells you that it's okay, I'm sure that is for your benifit and not realy how he is feeling...

Once he gets a card with the apology...he will feel much better...

You need to tell Grandma!!!!!and she needs to humble herself....

 

[Ariel Wanna-be]

Do you guys celebrate Christmas? If so, make sure when you get together to exchange gifts, everyone has one from you except her. Then when she starts complaining and getting her panties in a knot, just explain that you didn't know what to get her, and that you are surprised at her reaction since she obviously thinks that this is OK to do to her grandson.

What does your DH have to say about this? Perhaps it's time for him to have a "don't-forget-we-are-the-ones-who-will-be-choosing-where-you-spend-your-final-years" talk with her.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

Do you guys celebrate Christmas? If so, make sure when you get together to exchange gifts, everyone has one from you except her. Then when she starts complaining and getting her panties in a knot, just explain that you didn't know what to get her, and that you are surprised at her reaction since she obviously thinks that this is OK to do to her grandson.

What does your DH have to say about this? Perhaps it's time for him to have a "don't-forget-we-are-the-ones-who-will-be-choosing-where-you-spend-your-final-years" talk with her.

That is something a responsible parent would NOT do. Not a lesson to teach your children.
As far as the DH hopefully he will speak to his son and thank him for being such a good kid and explain sometimes we don' know why people do what they do. Re enforce how much they love him and spend some quality time with him.

 

[leighe]

Wow. How ridiculous.

Did she do it on purpose? I have an evil grandmother ( my dad's mom) but I didn't realize until I got older how awful she was to my mom. She and my grandfather spoiled us rotten so of course we thought they were fabulous!

 

[VickiVM]

My girlfriend does something that cracks me up - she makes mental notes to herself to remind her what not to do to her own kids when they get older. Everytime her mom does something that irritates her or is insensitive, she makes a note of it. Like, "When you feel bad or sick, don't tell your kids you're fine then go on and on about how this or that hurts". Stuff like that.

Maybe we should all keep "Notes to Myself" diaries to help us remember how we should act towards our family later in life...

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I woudl have been inclined to return all the gifts.

That is just rude beyond belief. She could have gotten him a gift card.

 

[Freyja]

Do you guys celebrate Christmas? If so, make sure when you get together to exchange gifts, everyone has one from you except her. Then when she starts complaining and getting her panties in a knot, just explain that you didn't know what to get her, and that you are surprised at her reaction since she obviously thinks that this is OK to do to her grandson.

What does your DH have to say about this? Perhaps it's time for him to have a "don't-forget-we-are-the-ones-who-will-be-choosing-where-you-spend-your-final-years" talk with her.

We do celebrate christmas. I´ve even thought of bringing MIL, her husband, their nieces and nephews something next time we´ll be there but leave SIL (she´s 14 and MIL´s daughter) out. Just not fair to her, but might show MIL how it feels to see your kids left out like that.

 

[RLccweems]

"D"MIL came for a short visit yesterday. She lives a 6 hour drive away but was here for a seminar and came over for dinner.

Obviously my kids were excited since she only comes 2-3 times per year.

Guess what she did!!!

She brought 3 of my 4 kids gifts!!!. As if that wasn´t enough, she even bought me and DH a gift each. She had giftbags with various items in them for all 3 daughters (almost 2, almost 5 and 10) but NOTHING for DS 12. She claimed she didn´t know what to get him

I know he´s at an age where finding gifts can become more difficult but he really is an easy kid when it comes to gifts. He´s very thankful and would have appreciated anything.

She even had the nerve to tell him she had been thinking of buying him a pair of socks!!! Well, then why didn´t she?

I hate having to deal with stuff like this .

I feel so bad for him.....she could have given him a card with money. Poor baby.....


lettie