MIL invites herself with us !!!!

[Merylj]

Good luck Paul - these family situations can be very tricky!
DH tackled a situation in our family that has niggled him for years - I won`t go into the details - however it was resolved very amicably and I wish I`d encouraged him to do it years ago - instead of living in fear we would cause alot of upset.
Here`s to your next great trip to Florida

 

[paulfoel]

Update
----------

We've just got back from this years hols and its started up again. Despite some not too subtle hints from my wife (to be fair to her) my MIL has still got the idea in her head.

Shes know offered to pay for the villa if she comes with us (so thats about £700). Not sure what to do - it would certainly save us a few quid (next years holiday was starting to look a little unaffordable).

With all the hassle this is causing (and the stress its causing me!!!), I'm tempted to tell my wife that, as a last resort, if she absoutely cant talk her mother out of it, to let her come.

The thing is my wifes Dad died 5 years ago and Disney was his favourite place. We got him one of those plaque things at Epcot and shes desperate to go and see it. She keeps going on about going back one more time before she dies!!!!

Personally, I think its a long way to go to look at one thing. Also, I'm not sure she'd enjoy herself anyway but, hey, if she insists....

 

[jen_uk]

If you think you are stressed now just think how you feel after you have been with her every day on holiday!!

Seriously tho, personally I still wouldn't let her come, its your family holiday and even tho it may ease the financial strain, if she ruins it and causes lots of bad feeling there is no point going anyway! Plus, if you give in this one time what is to stop her from wanting to come on every holiday, day out etc?

 

[UKDEB]

This is precisely what I mean about being manipulative. She clearly knows you don't want her along, so she's having to employ other means.

Shes know offered to pay for the villa if she comes with us.

Manipulation, without a doubt.

The thing is my wifes Dad died 5 years ago and Disney was his favourite place. We got him one of those plaque things at Epcot and shes desperate to go and see it. She keeps going on about going back one more time before she dies!!!!

Ouch! The ultimate in manipulative tactics.

I do understand your dilemma, though. I'd love a family Christmas without my Mum for once because she always spoils things. She could go to my brother's, but she refuses - again, pure manipulation, but I couldn't bear to think of her alone on Christmas Day.

 

[paulfoel]

This is precisely what I mean about being manipulative. She clearly knows you don't want her along, so she's having to employ other means.

Manipulation, without a doubt.

Ouch! The ultimate in manipulative tactics.

I do understand your dilemma, though. I'd love a family Christmas without my Mum for once because she always spoils things. She could go to my brother's, but she refuses - again, pure manipulation, but I couldn't bear to think of her alone on Christmas Day.

Deb,

I think youu've hit the nail on the head there. You know what your parents are doing, that its wrong, and their being manipulative but its easier said than done to force the issue.

To be honest, I do REALLY feel sorry for my wife that her mother has put her in this position. She doesnt want her mother to come but then she doesnt want to hurt her either !

 

[Nora03]

Been there - done that! I feel for you Paul.

Our parents are all gone now and I'm trying my level best not to become the dreaded Mother or Mother-in-Law. I remember all the guilt, nervousness, dreaded phone calls, etc., etc. and don't want to put my children through that. I fear that I might turn into her. I try not to call my daughters too often (email is great) and we host Sunday dinner every week, or whenever they are available. However, I do find myself wondering what is wrong when they don't respond to an email or don't call for awhile. My mind goes back to those days when I lived in fear of calling my Mom and having to tell her (or hiding) something I didn't want to tell her.

I know I was a good daughter, and your wife is probably feeling the same way, but it is so hard to live our own lives, without caring about hurting them. Maybe you could take her and your Dad and just decide that this is the last time you will be together on vacation and let it be all about them. (Of course, then she may expect it every vacation.) I know, that's easy for me to say. I've been on vacations with my parents and we were barely speaking by the end. Oh what a dilemma you have. I don't think I've helped much. Sorry. I think this is a question for Dr. Phil.

 

[UKDEB]

I think this is a question for Dr. Phil.

 

[Beth__WDW23/6/02]

Argh nightmare if you ask me.

Im having the same problem with DP we are going to Gran canaria we booked this holiday as a pre warm up holiday before florida next year and are all very excited.
MIL and FIL was due to go somewhere else,and then decided once we booked to tag along so as we leave on the 1st they join us on the 3rd.
They was going to stay elsewhere but opted for our hotel...So I am annoyed we have holidayed with them before even to florida each time they had faces on,ruined my trip,we've had minor disagreements,she (mil) takes over. She walked us the whole length of tenerife for a darn cake! Ggr *dont ask* DD ended up being sick in the process and by the time we got back it was tea time we set out early morning.

Soooo I am in the boat of too late they are booked and are joining us! but have planned to secretly bugger off when they arent looking.

Im glad your DW is in agreeance.
Hopefully you can get something sorted before hand.

 

[wils]

Just sending you all . I can identify with a lot of things you guys are saying and whilst it's good to know it's not just me ( ) I'm sorry for the stress!

Paul - no idea what to suggest as somethings are easier said than done (or rather not said!) but I hope you can sort this out