MIL did it again!

[DawnCt1]

That's so mean! My sister and I were not the favorites on my dad's side and it hurts your feeling when you're a kid. My grandparents were the same way, the kids they liked better got better gifts.

It is hurtful. My mom died nearly 14 years ago and they still remember how sweet she was. There won't be many fond memories for my MIL I'm afraid.

 

[DawnCt1]

The favoritism extended well beyond gifts. They would come to our DSs little league games,JV and then varsity, and always leave early if favorite grand daughter was playing soccer. That was very difficult for all of the DSs, particularly if they were pitching or catching and saw their grandparents fold up their chairs in the middle of the game and leave. I told them if they couldn't come for the entire game, not to come at all. Their departure was too distracting and hurtful. They never came to any after that if favorite DD was playing soccer.

 

[RitaZ.]

Well, that's a shame and so wrong. My mom is so careful to be equal with my kids. She doesn't want anyone to feel slighted.

As you said, it is futile. Some people are idiots and sometimes that's the only explanation there is.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

i couldn't imagine!!! in my family,everybody's so careful to be fare, especially the kids. at least to our faces!!!

My MIL used to buy what was asked for and balanced everything out with a check for the difference between the highest priced present and the lower ones!

I can't imagine doing this to your own grandkids.

 

[danalee]

I feel for your kiddos, my grandparents on my dads side did this same kinda of thing to my brother and I.
Our parents divored and we went to there house with my dad, there other grandkids got these big old gifts and i got a nightgown...

I loved them so I still went but always left with my feeling hurt. It wasnt until my brother (who is 8 years younger than me) started to notice the difference that we stopped going(he cried one year when the others his age got riding in cars and he got a 10 pack of matchbox cars) and my mom told them they could just deliver our gifts to us because of the reasons I stated, so they did. It didnt bother them we wouldnt be there or that they were told about about it they just said 'oh ok, well come a couple days after Christmas and drop off there gifts"

 

[wic0721]

My daughter would have been thrilled to get a $10 bill from her paternal grandmother, my MIL gave my 10 year old a book on VIRTUE for young people! I don't know if my MIL is slamming me and my husband or if she thinks her granddaughter is a troubled kid!

 

[AshleyW]

The favoritism extended well beyond gifts. They would come to our DSs little league games,JV and then varsity, and always leave early if favorite grand daughter was playing soccer. That was very difficult for all of the DSs, particularly if they were pitching or catching and saw their grandparents fold up their chairs in the middle of the game and leave. I told them if they couldn't come for the entire game, not to come at all. Their departure was too distracting and hurtful. They never came to any after that if favorite DD was playing soccer.

My DGma did this, as well. She doesn't like my dad (her son) very much, so she took it out on my brother and I. I played soccer and softball from elementary school through high school. She never came to ONE of my games or tournaments. On the other hand, my cousin (dad's sister's daughter) is 12 and plays on a traveling softball team. My DGma goes to EVERY game and tournament that my cousin is in - regardless of the distance. She'll go up to Minnesota (easily a 6 hour drive) just to watch her play a softball game.

I know it probably sounds like a minor thing to most people.. but it's really hurtful. I understand that DGma might have a problem with DDad.. but really? Why involve kids in that?

 

[minkydog]

You gotta wonder how people like your MIL can live with themselves. I'm sure my parents have favorites--favorite kids and favorite grandkids. My mother talks endlessly about my Dnephew, endlessly. She rarely talks about my kids in my presence(or theirs.) However, when it comes to gifts, birthday money, etc. she is even-steven. She doesn't always remember to actually *send* the gifts or money, but eventually she gets around to it. We live 400 miles away so naturally Mother can't spend as much time with my children as she does with both my sisters' children. But other than the constant play-by-play about DNephew, she is very fair with her kids and grandkids.

I'm sorry your MIL is being such a poopie-head. I guess she doesn't know that what goes around, comes around. I believe in karma

 

[JessicaR]

Thats absolute crap! I feel sad for your son that it bothered. I will never understand how a grandparent can do something like that and not understand or care how it effects the kids.

 

[Tracy Savage]

Wow, that's awful. Next time you should let your DSs open it in front of her and say, "hey, how come they got more?" If she is rude enough to do that then she deserves a little comeuppance, if you know what I mean!!!!

I totally agree. Has anyone ever said anything to her? I wouldn't be able to hold back.

 

[BLTtinkerbell]

I am sorry that your MIL is a jerk to your kids. I can never understand what makes people act this way. My MIL is the same way. She once gave all the grandkids cards on Christmas Eve. Not their gift, but just a card with money. My kids got $1.00 & the other grandkids got $5.00. My DH asked her what that was all about & she said the other grandchild are her daughter's children. My DH asked what that meant & she said "you know, daughters are so special" So I guess she feels her son & his children aren't as special as her daughter & her children. My DH told her that was very rude & not to do it again. She said he was over reacting, but she didn't do it again. She does other rude, mean stuff though. We see her less & less every year because of it. HER LOSS!
You & your family are better people than your MIL.

 

[DisnyMama]

I really feel for your family. I can't even imagine having a grandmother that would treat her grandkids this way. My sis and I were very, very lucky to have a wacky, nutty but very loving Grandmother. She always said that she could not and would not give or do for one and not do or make the same for the other. This also went for her great-grandsons which we gave her three of those who she loved dearly. We all miss her very much for the silly, crazy, nutty lady she was.

 

[MBKELmom]

I'm sorry--but that is craptastic.

I agree. What a nasty woman.

 

[dimimi]

Our family has similar gift issues. I will give $25 to each of my nephews...but my kids get $6 if they are 6, $8 if they are 8, etc. Of course these type of gifts were given right after I sent the $25!

I'm curiuos. I think you have 4 kids, right? Do the other families only have 2 kids? I know a lot of families will give "family" gift and each family gets a check for some amount of money...but each family gets the same amount.

In our family we spend $100 per family...it doesn't matter if you have 3 kids or 2 kids...etc.

 

[clovergirl5]

Im sorry op. I agree, that was really crappy of her to do that.
I was always my maternal grandma's fav, but she never gave me more than any of the other grandchildren. We just had/have a special bond and very much in common.

 

[dismom2]

Not nice. What if all the kids opened them up right in front of her? I wonder how she would explain why the amounts differed?

My MIL used to only buy gifts for one of our kids, for years. In fact, on the rare occassion she would see our kids, only the oldest got attention, praise, an invites to go places with her. It took years, but we finally helped her understand that this was unacceptable. Don't people think before they do things like that?! That should be common sense.

I would rather none of my kids get anything, than just one. It's not about the money or gifts (we told her this), it's about hurting kids' feelings.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Get your DSs to pool the money she gave. Buy an etiquette book. Highlight the gift giving etiquette section. Nice birthday present for her from your DSs.

 

[Saphire]

What does your DH say about all of this? Does he have any explanation? Is this how he was treated when he was growing up? Does he ever want to ask his mother why she does this? I would just be so curious about this behavior and I can't imagine not confronting her. But it should come from DH, as it is his mother. So... what is his reaction?

 

[lillygator]

wow, knowing this...I would definitely open them in front of everyone next year and let everyone know, they are not all getting equal amounts.

 

[Tweevil]

I agree. Next time let them open them in front of her and let her deal with the question of why so and so got more.

I agree!